Black men, white women: Great books about self discovery

1. Date white women: Dating the amateur psychologist

2. White women looking for black menare often women who have realized that their life is their own to live and should not care about social pressure and what others think of their life choices. This is also one of the reasons why they are open to interracial dating. What happens though when your date feels that it is her obligation to help you liberate yourself as well and solve your personal issues “just like I did!”? Then, my friend, you are probably dating the amateur psychologist. If you want to date white women, you should know that -even though we hate generalizations- they are as talkative as black women. And most men are used to dates where the woman does the talking and the man nods while eating his stake. You can not do that with the amateur psychologist though! She needs you to participate, listen to her questions carefully and answer them. Otherwise how could she make her diagnosis?! It is hard to recognize the psychologist at the beginning. During the first dates it feels nice to be with someone who asks meaningful questions and seems to care not just about your salary, but also about your childhood, your family, your relationship with your friends. So when she says something along the lines of “I think you have issues with your mother” or “You have an inferiority complex due to comparisons with your dad”, you have no clue where that came from.

4. If that does not sound bad to you, then wait until your amateur psychologist starts suggesting ways to solve your issues. After all she tried therapy and it changed her life, so it should work for you as well. Or meditation. Or maybe going to live in a cabin in the woods for a couple of months, to find your inner peace! She could join you, if you want. It might be fun to be the center of attention at first and it might seem sweet of her that she wants to help you, but the problem is that she is, well, amateur. Her “knowledge” on dealing with emotional issues comes from her own experience and reading women's magazines. Not exactly a scientific approach. Things become worse if she did date black men in the past and feels that now she has enough experience on interracial relationship challenges as well. The other issue is that she might want to help you solve problems that you do not actually have.

6. We know that so far it sounds like we advise you to never-ever go out with an amateur psychologist. But that is not true. They are in general kind souls that want to help others. Maybe a bit more curious than the average person as well. But as long as you make it clear to her that you are not a “patient” and you do not like to feel like you are being analyzed the whole time, she might exercise her talent on her friends and have a more normal relationship with you. Just try to not hurt her feelings and give her some time to stop symptom-spotting your for imaginary mental conditions. You can also copy her behavior and start diagnosing her. It won't be long before she realizes how annoying this is and stops. Unless she loves it, in which case you might have to start looking for another date!