Cut the clutter!

1. Cut the clutter! Editing for power and style (From Richard Nordquist)

2. 1. Use Active Verbs • Whenever possible, make the subject of a sentence do something. Wordy: The grant proposals were reviewed by the students.Revised: The students reviewed the grant proposals. Try it: Happiness is seen as elusive by many.

3. 2. Don't Try to Show Off • As Leonardo da Vinci observed, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Don't presume that big words or lengthy phrases will impress your readers: often the simplest word is the best. • Wordy: At this moment in time, students who are matriculating through high school should be empowered to participate in the voting process.Revised: High school students should have the right to vote. • Try it: • Omar and I, we resurrected our lapsed connection with our hometown where we both were raised as children and young adults to attend a much-anticipated reunion of the people that we went to high school with over ten years ago in the past.

4. 3. Cut Empty Phrases • Some of the most common phrases mean little, if anything, and should be cut from our writing: • all things being equal • all things considered • as a matter of fact • as far as I am concerned • at the end of the day • at the present time • due to the fact that • for all intents and purposes • for the most part • for the purpose of • in a manner of speaking • in my opinion • in the event of • in the final analysis • it seems that • the point that I am trying to make • type of • what I am trying to say • what I want to make clear • Wordy: All things being equal, what I am trying to say is that in my opinion all students should, in the final analysis, have the right to vote for all intents and purposes.Revised: Students should have the right to vote. • Try it: In view of the fact that it was raining down, orders were given that the game be canceled.

5. 4. Avoid Using Noun Forms of Verbs • The fancy name for this process is "excessive nominalization." Our advice is simple: give verbs a chance. Wordy: The presentation of the arguments by the students was convincing.Revised: The students presented their arguments convincingly. Or . . .The students argued convincingly. • Try it: There is a possibility that one of the causes of so many teenagers running away from home is the fact that many of them have indifferent parents who don't really care about them.

6. 5. Replace Vague Nouns • Replace vague nouns (such as area, aspect, case, factor, manner, situation, something, thing, type, and way) with more specific words--or eliminate them altogether. • Wordy: After reading several things in the area of certain psychology-type subjects, I decided to put myself in a situation where I might change my major.Revised: After reading several psychology books, I decided to change my major. • Try it: It appears that for these women one aspect of the term “happiness” is being involved in some process and achieving certain beneficial result rather than certain sensual experiences.