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Funny quotes from the funniest people in show business

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Funny quotes from the funniest people in show business

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  1. Funny quotes from the funniest people in show business

  2. Relax, laugh and have a good time with these quotes from some of the funniest people in showbiz, all curated by the Flyeread review team. Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Laurell K. Hamilton I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. George Bernard Shaw

  3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. Gore Vidal My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carter (US president 1977 to 1981) The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Mark Twain For more great humour, check out the entire collection at Flyeread today.

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