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The Practice of Presence

The Practice of Presence. Avenue Vineyard July 21, 2013.

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The Practice of Presence

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  1. The Practice of Presence Avenue Vineyard July 21, 2013

  2. “More and more, the desire grows in me to simply walk around, greet people, enter into homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice the simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. Henri Nouwen

  3. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be a part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets.  It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. Henri Nouwen cont’d

  4. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them but truly love them.” Henri Nouwen cont’d

  5. “…you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ 31 The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31 The Great Commandment

  6. Practicing the presence of people…

  7. Love is “to reveal the beauty of another person to themselves...” Jean Vanier, Becoming Human

  8. “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

  9. Speaking and Listening

  10. “A man who has truly mastered the utterances of Jesus will also be able to apprehend His silence, and thus reach full spiritual maturity, so that his own words have the force of actions and his silence the significance of speech.” Ignatius of Antioch

  11. talk about your own thoughts/feelings • clarify if you think the other person has missed something • continue sharing until you “feel” understood Guidelines for the Speaker

  12. Put your own agenda on hold. This isn’t a wrestling match. The purpose is understanding, not subduing. • Allow the other person to speak, don’t interrupt or hijack conversation. • Maybe try and relate the other persons word back to them to make sure you actually understand Guidelines for the Listener

  13. Often; • Unconscious • Unrealistic • Unspoken • Un-agreed upon Personal Expectations

  14. Conscious • Realistic • Spoken • Agreed upon Better expression of Expectations

  15. Questions to consider, • Am I aware of my expectations in this situation? • Are they realistic? • Have they been spoken out loud and understood? • Is there agreement on these expectations? Exercise: Relational Tension?

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