Personalized writing

1. Personalized writing Hem Raj Kafle 29/5/2012

2. Function/Active verbs Bond climbed the stairs and unlocked his door and locked and bolted it behind him. Moonlight filtered through the curtains. He walked across and turned on the pink-shaded lights on the dressing-table. He stripped off his clothes and went into the bathroom and stood for a few minutes under the shower … He cleaned his teeth and gargled with a sharp mouthwash to get rid of the taste of the day and turned off the bathroom light and went back into the bedroom … [Ian Fleming, From Russia with Love] Hem Raj Kafle

3. Activation Life is like a river. He is considered to be a hero. I have a plan to be a teacher. Success is dependent on how hard one works. Rahul is a writer of novels. It seems you are worried. As a result of your carelessness, you failed. This case shows us that we have lapses. Life flows like a stream. They consider him a hero. I plan to be a teacher. Success depends on hard work. Rahul writes novels. You seem (to be) worried. Carelessness led to your failure. This case indicates our lapses. Hem Raj Kafle

4. Ladder of Abstraction Good writers move up and down a ladder of language. At the bottom are bloody knives and rosary beads, wedding rings and baseball cards. At the top are words that reach for a higher meaning, words like freedom and literacy. …The ladder of abstraction remains one of the most useful models of thinking and writing ever invented. The easiest way to make sense of this tool is to begin with its name: the ladder of abstraction. The name contains two names. The first is ladder, a specific tool you can see, hold with your hands, and climb. It involves the senses. You can do things with it. Put it against a tree to rescue your cat Voodoo. The bottom of the ladder rests on concrete language. Concrete is hard, which is why when you fall of the ladder from a high place, you might break your foot. The one with the spider tattoo. (Roy Peter Clark, Writing Tools) Hem Raj Kafle

5. Ladder of abstraction - The language is perpetually in flux: it is a living stream, shifting, changing, receiving new strength from a thousand tributaries, losing old forms in the backwaters of time. To suggest that a young writer not swim in the main stream of this turbulence would be foolish indeed. (William Strunk, Elements of Style) - One of my school teachers had a curious way of explaining the meaning of democracy. He would first draw a line in the blackboard and ask us to shorten it without touching. When we failed, he would draw another line longer than the first and say, “Democracy is the spirit of competition in which you try to outdo others without touching them.” [HRK, “Nepali Loktantrism”] Hem Raj Kafle

6. Exercise 1: Ladder of Abstraction Please create a paragraph like the following with any abstract concept, such as masculinity, relationship, regret etc. Civilization is a stream with banks. The stream is sometimes filled with blood from people killing, stealing, shouting, and doing the things historians usually record, while on the banks, unnoticed, people build homes, make love, raise children, sing songs, write poetry and even whittle statues. The story of civilization is the story of what happened on the banks. Historians are pessimists because they ignore the banks for the river. [Will Durant, quoted by Clark] Hem Raj Kafle

7. Personalized writing • Authorial presence: the author’s voice • Credibility/authenticity of knowledge/message • Author’s internalization of the knowledge • Implicit/explicit dialogue between author and reader • Reader benefits: usefulness and referrability • Facilitation of understanding/perception and recall • Scholarly honesty: documentation and originality • Contribution to knowledge/scholarship Hem Raj Kafle

8. Critical viewpoint Just because some people have chosen to create a war in Iraq and continue to attend to it, holding it in their worlds, does not mean it must capture my attention. I always have the choice of asking what other possibilities are available, and when I look for more options to which to attend, I see them. I am encouraged, then, to reflect on whether I want the ideas, constructions, objects, or conditions on which I am focusing because what I choose constitutes the building blocks of my world. (Foss, 2006) Hem Raj Kafle

9. Story that makes a point There were some days to remember: democracy day, constitution day and birthdays of the king and queen. These meant for us to arrive school early, line in processions through the neighbouring villages screaming after a senior chap, “long live our king, long live our queen, long live democracy, long live panchayat” and a couple of other catchphrases, which signified nothing more than disappointment to our dry throats and hungry bellies. After these rituals our teachers used to kindly distribute red sweet-balls. You were lucky if you got one piece after minutes of struggle. Seeing the kids swarm in hunger and haste, they would get irritated and simply hurl the sweets to the air while the hungry kids fought to claim their shares. We were just naughty chickens after the hour-long wishing of long life to the monarchs and their democracy. [HRK, “Literacy , School and ...”] Hem Raj Kafle

10. Comparison-contrast I was wrong about both drivers. At Gainesville, my apprehension of being with a total stranger without the Institute staff proved futile as the driver turned out to be friendly and honest. In Kathmandu, where I was familiar with everything, I trusted the lad and got cheated. There, the man talked and made me comfortable. Here, the lad talked and made me uncomfortable! There the man left me in my destination; here I left the lad on the way. There , I left the taxi with thankfulness. Here I regretted for using it. There, the man treated me as if I was his native. Here, my native treated me as if I was a stupid stranger. [HRK, “The Two Taxi Drivers”] Hem Raj Kafle

11. ‘You’ attitude Embarking on a doctorate requires, as a colleague of mine once said, a complete suspension of rationality. Think of it: you are required to write 80-100,000 words on a single topic, spread over 5 years or so, allow yourself, at an age when others with similar qualifications are reaching the top of the food chain, to be subjected to an examination by a group of people who think they already know everything about your research anyway, and if all goes well, you are – assuming you find a job – earning between slightly and considerably less than a taxi driver in London. [Bob Hancké, Intelligent Research Design] Hem Raj Kafle

12. Narrative, imagery and dialogue The book made me see America differently from the following day. At one point the director asked me of my impression of Miami. I said, with my eyes fixed on a vagabond to the other side of the street, “Looks much like an Indian city.” Although she did not demand an explanation of this terse analogy, I knew she did not like it at all. Later, I marked the presence of the “homeless” in the streets of New York and Washington DC, and willingly gave one dollar bill to whoever accosted me. Some friends teased me for this appearance of generosity. I explained, “It’s their money and their people. And it is big for a Nepali chap to be giving a buck each to some of Uncle Sam’s poor nephews in Washington DC.” [HRK, “Stories for My Classes”] Hem Raj Kafle

13. Examples: subordination and confusion Do you push the main message so far as this? - Pollution is a thingthatleads to the disbalance of ecology. - Dowry is a word which a lot of poor people fear these days. - Kathmandu is the place where I don’t want to start a business. Or create confusion? - I am going to the village to sell my land along with my wife. - Raghu killed a snake with a stick which was poisonous. - Raghu found a well near a canal which was dry. - A syllabus balances theory and practice which is essential for a student’s overall development. WOULD YOU TRY TO PUT THEM STRAIGHT? Hem Raj Kafle

14. Curtailing excess and repetition Do you notice what is more than enough? One might think that as people grow old they don’t require all these petty things as birthday gifts. But, it should be noted that when you are getting older one tends to think more about his approaching final days and get more depressed. In such cases, birthday gifts could be real helper to bring some smile and life to the birthday man/woman. Will rephrasing and substitution make the following text better? Mediastudies as a disciplineincludesareas of humanities and social sciences. It enjoys both inter- and trans-disciplinarity. Within it integrate as many areas as come under the rubrics of English studies and cultural studies, its parent disciplines, including hands-on exposure in the existing and emerging media technologies. Hem Raj Kafle

15. Activities for practice Types of writing - with a fixed organization - active voice only - declarative sentences - personal narrative - personal-critical - imitation (metaphor) - function verbs only - creating imagery - short-long-short-short-long-short sentences • Sharing the work, and merging pertinent themes • Reading aloud: self and by others • Editing : self and by others Hem Raj Kafle

16. Exercise 1: “The surprised mother hen” Hem Raj Kafle

17. Exercise 2: Comparison and contrast Hem Raj Kafle

18. Exercise 3: Report vs. story Check in the following text how Roy P. Clark distinguishes a report from a story, and create each in a separate paragraph. The subject can be anything like fire in godown, rescue of a child from flood, imprisonment of a teenager you know well, etc. What are the differences between report and story, and how can the writer use them to strategic advantage? A wonderful scholar Louis Rosenblatt argued that readers read for two reasons: information and experience. There’s the difference. Reports convey information. Stories create experience. Reports transfer knowledge. Stories transport the reader, crossing boundaries of time, space, and imagination. The report points there. The story puts us here. Hem Raj Kafle

19. Exercise 4: Please try the following. • Narrate your first day at school. Critically relate it with your first day at a nursery class as a teacher. • Take any three points from Will Durant’s ideas on civilization to present your own views. Write the introduction of your text. • Present the highlights of today’s workshop on “Personalized Writing” in the form of a literature review. • Discuss the moments of frustration a researcher might undergo in lack of clarity and direction. Contrast it with the moment after she has completed her report. • How are literature review and research methodology connected? [Well, the purpose here is not to test your knowledge of research design but to help you think of a strategy to answer such question.] Hem Raj Kafle

20. Bibliography Baumlin, J. S. (2006). Ethos. In Thomas O. Sloane (Ed), Encyclopedia of rhetoric (e-reference edition) (pp. 278-292). Oxford University Press, The Midnight University. Retrieved February 16, 2010, from http://www.oxford-rhetoric.com/ entry?entry=t223.e1 Clark, Roy Peter. (2006). Writing tools. New York: Little, Brown and Company. Colona M. R., and Gilbert, J. E. (2006). Reason to write. NY: OUP Foss, S. (2006). Rhetorical criticism as synecdoche for agency. Rhetoric Review , 25 (4), 375-379. Green , L. D. (2006). Pathos. In Thomas O. Sloane (Ed), Encyclopedia of rhetoric (e-reference edition) (pp. 574-588). Oxford University Press, The Midnight University. Retrieved February 16, 2010, from http://www.oxford-rhetoric.com/ entry?entry=t223.e1 Hem Raj Kafle

21. Hancké, Bob. (2008). Intelligent research design. London School of Economics. Lyons , A. Ethos, logos, and pathos: ageless rhetoric in persuasive writing . Retrieved January 14, 2010 from http://people.moreheadstate.edu/orgs/mwp/files/adamlyonsprofessional.pdf . Raman, M., and Sharma, S. (2008). Technical communication. New Delhi: OUP. Selzer, J. 2004. ‘Rhetorical analysis: Understanding how texts persuade readers.’ In Charles Bazerman, and Paul Prior, What writing does and how it does it. New Jersey: Laurence Erlbaum Associates. Hem Raj Kafle

22. Smith , R. (2005). Strategic planning for public relations. Laurence Erlbaum Associates. Strunk, William, and White, E. B. (2000). The Elements of Style (4th ed). Allyn & Bacon. Trimmer, Joseph, and Hairston, Maxine. (1987). The Riverside Reader. 2nd ed. Vol. 2. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1987. http://kaflehem.wordpress.com Hem Raj Kafle