Help! I am THE Leader?

1. Help! I am THE Leader? NOBA 2007 Association Summit January 6-8, 2007 Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary Fort Worth, Texas

2. If you are GROUCHY, IRRITABLE, or just plain MEAN there will be a $10 charge for putting up with you! Help! I Am THE Leader?

3. Help ! I Am THE Leader? RELATIONSHIPS DEFINED • The way in which two or more people feel and behave towards each other. • A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other. • The condition or fact of being associated or connected.

4. • Lack of Communication: The church and leaders must own change before they can embrace it. Inadequate Reponses to Resistant People: Hear the hurts of people & be flexible. Too Much Too Soon: God’s wisdom must be sought to discern the pace of change and leadership initiatives. Common Pitfalls in Relationships

5. Common Pitfalls in Relationships Over Dependence on Methodologies: Evaluate them critically in light of the church's uniqueness and the parameters of Scripture. Borrowing Vision: God's vision for each church is unique. Help churches and leaders to establish their God given vision.

6. Common Pitfalls in Relationships Lack of Commitment: Leading a church to growth can be a long-term process. Many pastors want to either climb the ecclesiastical ladder to a larger church, or are satisfied with the status quo and are unwilling to “rock the boat.” Summary: Most pastors, staff, and church leaders lack listening and people skills.

7. Relationships in Ministry • Ministry is Communication • Communication is Relationships • Relationships is Action • Action is Ministry • We are responsible to challenge and precipitate a continuous flow in leaders.

8. Relationships in Ministry • Be proactive with every Pastor and staff member in your association. • Begin building relationships by spending time in their office and at lunch with them. • Let them know that you are their Pastor and your utmost desire is to help them become effective as leaders.

9. Relationships in Ministry • Establish a routine of contacting pastors and church staff personally by phone and e-mail. • Send birthday, wedding anniversary, and tenure greetings to all pastors and staff. • Become committed to being a mentor and coach to pastors, staff, and church leadership on a personal level and through a mentoring circle.

10. Purpose Statement The purpose and process of mentoring is a biblical principle that God has ordained for His ministers to gain insight and experience to effectively fulfill God's call on their life! In essence, the Scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron.” (Proverbs 27:17)

11. Purpose Statement The mission of FBA Mentoring Ministry is to coach and mentor/facilitate spiritual leaders and equip them with the heart and skills to lead God's Church effectively in the 21st century.

12. Mission Statements The mission of our Mentoring Ministry is “to coach, mentor, and equip by sharpening ministry skills.” Amaxa Leadership was begun to “coach leaders to reach their maximum potential.” www.amaxaleadership.com

13. Mentoring Covenant The following agreements can be modified only in the beginning: 1.) Meet on the fourth Thursday each month (excluding June, July, and December) from 9:00 a.m. until Noon. 2.) Meet for a minimum of nine months, except June July & December 3.) Participate in telephone consultations if desired. 4.) Commit to 100% attendance: barring illness or “hopelessly ditched oxen.” 5.) Commit to openness and honesty in discussion. 6.) Commit to 100% confidentiality concerning things shared in the group.

14. Mentoring Covenant 7.) Commit to assigned readings and tapes in advance of sessions. 8.) Commit to participate in projects. 9.) Commit to attend every meeting—to the bitter end! 10.) Commit to one-on-one “make-up” (by phone if not in person) if a meeting is missed. 11.) There will be no cost for meetings. 12.) Signed: Date:

15. Help! I Am THE Leader? Strengths and Weaknesses: • What area do you consider to be your strongest area of giftedness? • In what areas do you feel least gifted? • For what kind of ministry skills are most fully developed? • In what ministry skills do you feel you most need to improve? 

16. Help ! I Am THE Leader? Influences: • What Christian leaders have influenced you the most? • What preachers do you most admire? • In what ways would you hope to benefit from participation in a mentoring circle? 

17. Help I Am THE Leader? • Most pastors realize that some type of change must take place in their churches to effectively reach a growing, unchurched population. • Many pastors face two major obstacles: • People Skills/Relationships • The inability to apply known principles of change and communication

18. Help I Am THE Leader? We desire to encourage and motivate ministers to implement principles of people skills, change, and transition by way of a long-term, deliberate process one step at a time. The initial part of this process begins with you as a PERSON in your relationship to God and then moves into your PARTNER and PARENTAL relationships. This process culminates with your PROFESSIONAL relationships as a PASTOR/MINISTER.

19. Personal: Ministry/purpose statement, identifying gifts and character traits, spiritual energy. Partner/Parental: Ministry at home, shepherding the family. Overview of the Year

20. Help I Am THE Leader? Overview Pastor/Professional: Motivation and discovery to develop interpersonal and leadership skills as iron sharpens iron. Problems/Preferences: How to deal with, equip, and motivate sheep; organizational streamlining; communication; people skills.

21. Help! I Am THE Leader? Mentoring Ministries Time Frame of a Typical Mentoring Meeting: 1st Quadrant: Bonding Time Go around a circle and allow each person to share what is going on in his life, family, and ministry. 2nd Quadrant: Problem Solving Through brain storming, put a ministry challenge or problem someone is dealing with on the table and let the group “attach it” with combined insights and expertise. 3rd Quadrant: Teaching Input Teaching input by facilitator. Curriculum is based primarily on needs and requests of participants. 4th Quadrant: Season of Prayer Emphasis is put on prayer requests and answers to prayer.

22. Perennial (Ongoing) Purpose: Write individual and church purpose statements. (Mission) Priority: Prioritize my purpose in ministry (Vision) Plans: Categorize objectives into one-year, three-year, five-year, and ten-year segments (Priorities)

23. Help ! I Am the Leader? Procedures: List systematically how to accomplish your plans (goals). Process: List a method(s) for checking your progress. Accountability is a must. Promotion: Determine how to promote your vision and motivate others to develop their vision.

24. Help ! I Am THE Leader? Assignments: • Read accountability booklet. • Write personal profile • Develop mission and philosophy statement. • Required reading of at least one book of 200 + pages OR 2 100 + pages per month. • Write one page bibliography on books read to be shared with fellow classmates.

25. Help! I Am THE Leader? Begin each session with a heart check-up. • Enumerate what is happening in you life, family, and ministry. • What are your greatest fears? • What are your greatest joys? • What are your greatest challenges?

26. Help ! I Am THE Leader? Conduct personal and leadership profiles. • Adult Disc Survey by Ken Voges • Uniquely You by Mels Carbonell, PH.D • Intimacy Needs Assessment – Brad Riza, Director of Missions, Paluxy Baptist Association, Texas

27. Help ! I Am THE Leader? • Unhealthy Thinking Assessment – Brad Riza, Director of Missions, Paluxy Baptist Association, Texas • Leadership Traits Inventory – Brad Riza, Director of Missions, Paluxy Baptist Association, Texas • Team Profile System – Clint Anderson, Director of Missions, Williamson Baptist Association, Texas • Church Strategic Planning – J.W. Minton, Director of Missions, Bluebonnet Baptist Association, Texas • Accountability (Developing Relationships for Spiritual Growth & Protection) – David Atchison and Billy Beacham • www.gosdm.org • 800-880-8736

28. Help ! I Am THE Leader? Recommended Books: • Bellman, G.M. Getting Things Done when You Are Not in Charge • Bolton, R. People Skills • Susek, R. Firestorm: Preventing and Overcoming Church Conflicts • Sande, K. The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict • Ford, Layton. Transforming Leadership • Haugk, Kenneth C. Antagonists In The Church: How to Identify & Deal with Destructive Conflict

29. Relationships in Ministry • Johnson, Spencer. Who Moved My Cheese • Piper, John. Let The Nations Be Glad • Piper, John. Brothers, We Are Not Professionals: A Plea to Pastors For Radical Ministry • Cymbala, Jim. Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire • Anderson, Lynn. They Smell Like Sheep • Foster, Richard. Celebration of Discipline • Rainer, Tom. Eating the Elephant

30. Relationships In Ministry • Warren, Rick. The Purpose Driven Church • Mandino, Og. The Greatest Salesman in the World • Wilkes, Gene. Jesus on Leadership • Wilkes, Gene. Paul on Leadership • Blackaby, Henry. The Power of the Call • Easum, William M. Scared Cows Make Gourmet Burgers: Ministry Anytime, Anywhere by Anyone • Elmore, Ted. Mentoring: How to Invest Your Life in Others