Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man By: Steve Harvey

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man By: Steve Harvey Sabreen Assaf assafs1@mail.montclair.edu AbisolaAdefolu adefolua2@mail.montclair.edu Shaun Bach bachs1@mail.montclair.edu

Summary • This book is dedicated to all women • His intention is to allow women to look at relationship from a man’s point of view with eyes wide open • The book is a “fool proof guide” for women to read what men are really thinking • Steve has come to our rescue and has written this book to touch on all of the subjects that are important on how to find a man and keep him (Harvey, 2009)

Summary cont’d • He answers questions referring to: • mama’s boys • the ninety day rule • when to introduce the kids • and the questions we should be asking • He claims you must read this book if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships. (Harvey, 2009)

His Statement: • Men are simple, and no matter how different, all have the same mindsets and simple attitudes of only trying to figuring out three aspects of their lives: who they are, what they do, and how much he makes. • According to Gorbunova, this is not the thinking of men, but both sexes search for who they truly are (2010).

Myth #1-People’s Playbooks are outdated

Myth #2- Reason’s men go to counseling • Page 280- “Will men go to counseling?” • “SH: We’re only interested in it if it is going to save our ass. If we think we’re going to lose you and counseling will keep us together, then we’ll go. But if it won’t save our ass, we cant see any good reason why we should sit on a couch and talk to a person with a tablet, getting judged for every move we’ve ever made.”

Myth #2 cont’d • Researched reasons why men do not go to counseling? • Don’t like to admit there is a problem that needs changing • Don’t like to admit they cant fix something on their own • Like to fix things on their own • Even if it does “save their asses” many men refuse to go to counseling. Smith, K. (2010, March 5).

He got it right! • Some of Steve Harvey’s thinking can be supported with research! • Example: • Women want a mature man • Darroch, Landry, and Oslak write that sexually active women from 15-44 years 52% had men that were at least two years older.

Steve Harvey’s Data • Talked to some of his male friends • His female co-workers and associates • Put together a few informal focus groups. • Then, considered the impact that relationships have on each of us, and their impact on us • The successful marriage of his parents

Was This Book Helpful? • No data • No “new” or “edgy” way of thinking • Men and women are different • Women do not understand men • Not sufficient enough research to be considered an adequate self-help book • Not particularly funny for a comedian • NO!

Recommendations • More research then his friends and family • Less limited methodology on the man/ stereotypes • Providing research to his logical beliefs • Connecting it to a younger age group

Quiz Time! • What is Steve Harvey’s method of research: • a. interviews • b. surveys • c. friends and families • d. a & b • Steve Harvey claims that he did comprehensive research: • True • False • What does Steve Harvey believe is the main difference between men and women: • a. The complexity of their thinking • b. Their looks • c. Their careers • d. Their upbringing

References • Darroch, J., Landry D.j., & Oslak, S. (1999). Age difference between sexal partners in the United States. Family Planning Perspective, 31, 161-167. • Gorbonova, I.M. (2010). Man in the twenty-first century: The need for self-understanding. Anthropology & Archeology of Eurasia, 49, 41-45. • Harvey, Steve. (2009). Act like a lady, think like a man: What men really think about love, relationships, intimacy, and commitment. NY: Harper Collins. • Smith, K. (2010, March 5). Mr. marriage counselor - "my husband won’t go to marriage counseling" [Web log message]. Retrieved from http://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/bid/24518/Mr-Marriage-Counselor-My-Husband-Won-t-Go-to-Marriage-Counseling

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man By: Steve Harvey