Roles and Boundaries in Ministry

1. Covenant Health Systems Lexington, MA Roles and Boundariesin Ministry Catherine O’Connor, CSB, Ph.D.

2. Goals: • To define “boundaries” in professional ministerial relationships • To explore and clarify different kinds of boundaries • To recognize various boundary violations • To name strategies to protect and safeguard boundaries

3. Name examples of boundaries which come to mind

4. Basic Boundary - The Cell

5. Boundary Range • Rigid • Structured • Fluid • Chaotic

6. Boundary Functions • Protection from harm • Maintain integrity (Form and Shape) • Manage input and output

7. Boundaries are: • Limits which provide safety in the presence of power (e.g. speed limits, road signs, cover over electrical wiring • Limits that delineate time, place, our person (i.e.: where I leave off and the rest of the world begins) P.B. Macke, S.J, Human Development, Spring 1993

8. Boundary Development • Natural sense of boundaries • Family of Origin • Culture • Society • Professional Standards

9. Personal vs. Professional Relationships • Personal relationship is private, although lived out in public arena. Exists to meet any of one’s primary emotional, spiritual, sexual needs • Professional relationship is public and has a social responsibility. Exists within context of external standards, and has expectation that one acts in best interest of recipient of service

10. Personal Boundary SUBMISSIVE OTHER ME

11. Personal Boundary AGGRESSIVE OTHER ME

12. Personal Boundary ASSERTIVE IMPACT OTHER ME

13. Personal Boundary DEFEND OTHER ME

14. The Flow of IntimacyMerged CLOSE SEPARATE

15. Balance of Power On a scale of 1-7, potential of boundary violation?

16. Balance of Power A 15 year old female Vietnamese immigrant with limited English skills; and her 46 year old white pastor.

17. Balance of Power A 29 year old African-American male teacher, who is in crisis over the recent death of his brother, and his 32 year old African-American priest.

18. Balance of Power A 25 year old white male who has discovered his wife is drunk most evenings and hides alcohol around the house – he knows little about addictions or the treatment options available – and the 35 year old white female pastoral minister at his church to whom he goes for advice.

19. Balance of Power A 40 year old female, white president of the parish council, who attends a finance meeting with the 42 year old Asian male pastor of the parish.

20. Purpose of Professional Relationships • A Covenant of Protection

21. Specific Professional Groups: • Medicine • Law • Religion • Teaching • Psychotherapy

22. Fiduciary Responsibility • A duty to act with the highest degree of honesty, loyalty and in the best interests of the beneficiary

23. Ministry as a Profession • Is a vocation • Renders a specialized service • Possesses and uses specialized knowledge and understanding, requires education & skills • Is accountable to those served, and appropriate authorities • Uses power and authority in best interest of those served, not in self-interest

24. Power • Authority

25. Power & Authority for Ministry • Natural Gifts/Personal Talent • Calling and ratification by external body • Training • Credentials • Contract/Endorsement for Ministry • Symbolic Role

26. Professional Ministry is: • Performed by ordained and lay members of the Christian community • Equally professional when performed by a non-ordained person • Different from the ministry of the members of the community to one another

27. Role of Boundaries • Boundaries exist for the sake of vulnerable people • Boundaries provide for the management of Care and Ethics in Pastoral Relationships

28. Unique Aspect of Boundaries in Ministry • Dual Relationships vs. • Overlapping relationships

29. Professional Restraint • Responsibility to refrain from using pastoral relationship to satisfy our desire for attention, acceptance , pleasure, profit or prestige

30. Definition of Boundary Violation • A boundary violation is anything that alters the limits that allow for a safe connection based on the needs of the one being served

31. Boundary Violation • Boundary violation does not lie in the intention of the person who has power and authority in the situation, but in the perception of the person who is the recipient

32. Vignettes • Does vignette touch on dual relationship or boundaries? If boundaries, is it verbal, emotional, or physical? At what point could a potential problem have been averted?

33. Vignettes • A father of one of the children you are working with often comes to you with complaints about his wife. You listen and try to be supportive. His visits become more and more frequent and he invites you to lunch because, he says he finds these encounters so supportive.

34. Vignettes • A woman comes to you in grief as she tells you about the death of her sister whom she cared for during a long illness. You went through a similar experience with your mother and are deeply moved by the woman’s account of her experience. You spontaneously go over to the woman and being to rub her shoulders.

35. Vignettes • You are a massage therapist. A friend requests your services, paying the regular fee. You set up a series of appointments, but after the third appointment, your friend does not appear and has not cancelled the appointment. You inform her that you charge for missed appointments. She is upset, assuming that your friendship takes precedent over your policy.

36. Vignettes • A new assistant is hired at the parish. You frequently tease him about his good looks and that the women in the parish may find him “too sexy” to resist. You enjoy teasing him, but he is obviously uncomfortable with your teasing.

37. Vignettes • You have formed a very close relationship with one of the young adults of the opposite gender with whom you minister. This person often visits you in your home where there is no “private” space for visiting. You invite this person to visit in your bedroom for the sake of privacy.

38. Vignettes • Other? An experience you’ve had or been aware of.... G. Kline, OP, LPC

39. Transference and Countertransference Transference: The re-enactment of past emotional relationships in a current relationship Countertransference: The professional’s emotional reaction to the patient

40. Occupational Boundary Hazards 1. Idealized (Divinized) Vocation 2. Multiple Roles with Diffuse Boundaries 3. Reduced Accountability Structures 4. Over-Exposed to Human Needs 5. Under-Nurtured in Own Needs

41. Common Standards - Code of Ethics 101.1 Gives expression to the basic values and standards of the profession 101.2 Guides decision-making & professional behavior 101.3 Provides a mechanism for professional accountability 101.4 Informs the public regarding expectation of Spiritual Care Professionals

42. Prevention of Boundary Violations • Know the limits of your competence • Set appropriate limits on ministerial contacts • Be aware of sexual feelings • Engage in stress management and self-care • Avoid dual relationship • Attend to personal relationships & intimacy needs • Avoid workaholism and burnout • Supervision/Counseling/Spiritual Direction • Avoid Isolation