Guiding Children from Survival to Resilience

1. Teaching for Five Democratic Life Skills (dangartrell.net) Guiding Children from Survivalto Resilience

2. Teaching children to learn from their mistakes rather than punishing them for the mistakes they make. Teaching children to solve their problems rather than punishing them for having problems they cannot solve. Intentional teaching for emotional/social skills. Based on secure teacher-child relationships. Dependent on developmentally appropriate practice for every child. Teaching to sustain a democratic society. Guidance is

3. Children are best thought of as months old. Early brain development is astounding, but is easily endangered by unmanageable (toxic) stress. Adverse experiences generate unmanageable stress that results in mistaken survival behaviors. Guidance begins with secure relationships that lower stress, build mutual trust, and make learning possible. Teachers resolve conflicts by being firm but friendly and always respecting the parties involved. Guidance takes teamwork among staff and staff and families, working together. Good guidance with the child is good guidance with the group. Seven Guidance Principles

4. The amygdala functions as part of the brain’s limbic system. The amygdala controls sensing and reacting to potential & real ”childhood adverse experiences.” The Amygdala system begins functioning very early in life—illustrated when infants cry. Insecure relationships and/or severe adverse exper-iences cause an over-sensitized amygdala system & unmanageable stress levels. (Childhood PTSD.) Impacted children become susceptible to patterns of mistaken survival reactions—”fighting, freezing, and fleeing,” frequent aggression being the most vexing. The Brain’s Amygdala and Unmanageable Stress

5. Executive function is the brain’s system for conscious problem-solving: remembering, focused interacting, intentional thinking and action, seeing things through. Executive function (EF) happens in the frontal cortex of the brain in conjunction with the hippocampus. EF begins development around age three and is not fully developed until the mid twenties. Early EF is easily overwhelmed by unmanageable stress—the need for safety comes before growth. Healthy EF development is needed for learning and growth in all five developmental domains. Executive Function and the Amygdala

6. First Safety Needs Skills 1. Find acceptance as a worthy member of the group and as an individual. 2. Express strong emotions in non-hurting ways. Then Growth Needs Skills 3. Solve problems creatively--independently and in cooperation with others. 4. Accept unique human qualities in others. 5. Think intelligently and ethically. Charting Progress toward Resilience: Five Democratic Life Skills (Thanks A. Maslow)

7. Challenged children show challenging behaviors. Sources of stress are environmental, biological, and often both. High stress levels become chronic with less than secure parent-child attachments and unmitigated adverse experiences. Aggression, the most challenging form of stress-expression for many teachers, comes in two forms: reactive and instrumental. Kids who show aggression are rejected by many teachers and peers—adverse childhood experiences continue. Rejection causes negative self-identity and likely falling into a stress-aggression-rejection (S-A-R) syndrome. Learning in all domains becomes difficult on a long-term basis. Starting with the relationship, the teacher buffers & teaches. Skills 1 and 2: In the Face of Unmet Safety Needs--Buffering

8. Teachers practice liberation teaching: Do not give up on the child. (GM columns # 13, 17, 18.) Team with co-staff to increase understanding of the child. Ask person who relates with child to be primary caregiver. Work to build secure (positive & trust-based) relationships with child outside of conflict situations. Rely on acknowledgment, encouragement & contact talks. Are proactive in building partnerships with families. Ensure program is D.A. for the child; use groupings wisely. Sustain relationships during and especially after conflicts. Develop, implement, & modify Individual Guidance Plan. Skill One: Finding acceptance as a member of the group and as a worthy individual

9. Teachers: Anticipate conflicts child cannot handle and provide buffering. (Challenge: spend time with child at arrival.) Always calm children first during conflicts. Give time. With one child, use guidance talks. Listen to child. With 2-3 children use conflict mediation (5 finger form.) If group is to be involved, use group meetings. Sit with child if in group. Have preset guidelines and use them. (Guidance Matters columns # 7 & 19). If needed use Individual Guidance Plan (website) Skill Two: Expressing strong emotions in non-hurting ways (from ”7 Practices” article.)

10. A. Teacher recognizes that STEM is STREAM and readiness is a state of mind, not a state of knowledge. (STREAM is science, technology, relationships, engineering, arts, and math.) Use DAP. B. Teacher recognizes that the child is now: Working hard to balance amygdala reactions & developing EF. Willing to engage; may or may not need guidance during conflicts. Developing definite interests that might become life-long attributes. (Your encouragement helps!). Has a sense of self as an independent, but contributing member of the group. Sometimes shows caring & empathy; makes you smile. Skills 3, 4, & 5: Responding to Growth Needs--Nudging

11. For individual creativity, teacher nudges toward growth: Broadens choices to engage each child Eliminates adult-made models, which undermine creativity. Allows for maximum engagement time by child. Gives acknowledgment and encouragement. Teaches three guidelines to children: 1) work hard your own way; 2) ask for help when you need it; 3) when finished, make things right for next child. Gives as much assistance, but only as much assistance, as the child needs to do the rest. Skill Three: Solving problems creatively—independently and in cooperation with others.

12. For cooperative creativity, teacher nudges toward growth: Decides with group and teaches guidelines for social play; “Use Friendly touches”; “Use friendly words.” Maximizes opportunity for small group experiences—planned & spontaneous—by planning and giving time. Allows small groups to use equipment creatively. Gives acknowledgment and encouragement to groups. Gives thought and planning to organize small groups. Recognizes large groups are challenging for young children. Make focused, participatory & brief. Skill Three: Solving problems creatively—independently and in cooperation with others

13. Work time (”Play is children’s work.”) Choice time (Bring the meta-cognitive into it.) Center time (”learning centers” meaning activity areas). Self-selected, self-directed autonomous learning periods (for administrators that don’t get it). You got others? Need newer words for what we used to call “free play?”

14. Teacher teaches and models anti-bias programming: Ensures materials reflect diversity and avoid stereotypes. Teaches for gender equality and cross-gender understanding and cooperation (not just tolerance). Proactively intervenes when s/he encounters conflicts regarding differences in human qualities. Models acceptance of unique human qualities by showing appreciative cooperation with members of teaching team and other adults who visit setting. Quietly compliments cooperation in individuals. Publicly compliments cooperation shown by group. Skill Four: Accepting the unique human qualities in others

15. Teacher enjoys the occasional piece of cake from all that cake-baking effort with the children. • Buffers children who make the effort to use DLS 5. • Recognizes children are progressing toward DLS 5 by the nature of their mistaken behavior. • Level 3 Mistaken Behavior--Motivation: Serious unmet safety needs. Child shows strong emotions over time in conflicts. • Level 2 Mistaken Behavior—Motivation: Socially influenced. Child is influenced by significant others and group members. Independent thinking still difficult. • Level 1 Mistaken Behavior—Motivation: Experimentation. Child engages in the experiments of life: unintentional and intentional. • Because executive function is nascent, children make mistakes in their perspective taking and good deeds, which are hard tasks for everyone, even old-timers. :-}). Skill Five: Thinking intelligently and ethically

16. DAP, including healthy adult-child ratios. Guidance Practices consistently used. Relationships with children, Partnerships with families. Professional staff working together, including administrators and outside specialists. Proactive “Affirmative action” in hiring men teachers Understanding about the connection of the experience of the individual as a child to the life of the adult that the child becomes. Professional and personal support systems that teachers/staff members can rely on. Teaching for the dls, what is needed

17. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.htmlhttps://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity. Working together, we can help create neighborhoods, communities, and a world in which every child can thrive.Learn more about preventing ACEs in your community by assuring safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments. Aces: Adverse Childhood Experiences

18. Guidance Matters Columns (free downloads) Listed in Handout. #s 2, 3, 6, 7, 10, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19 Presentation Handouts (free downloads) *Survival to Resilience Institute, 2019 ppxt Democratic Life Skills ppxt Guidance Matters Columns #s 21 – 25, the five DLS Guidance Matters Column #26 “Fostering Resilience” Books by Dan Education for a Civil Society; Guidance for Every Child. Dan’s array of resources available at dangartrell.net