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Relational Development and Maintenance

Relational Development and Maintenance. Models of Relational Development Dialectical Perspectives Communicators seek important but inherently incompatible goals through their relationship Dialectical Tensions Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously

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Relational Development and Maintenance

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  1. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models of Relational Development • Dialectical Perspectives • Communicators seek important but inherently incompatible goals through their relationship • Dialectical Tensions • Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously • Managing dialectical tensions can create the most powerful dynamic in relational communication

  2. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Dialectical Tensions • Connection versus Autonomy • We seek out involvement with others • We are unwilling to sacrifice our entire identity to even the most satisfying relationship • One of the most common reasons for relational breakups involve failure of partners to satisfy each other’s needs for connection • “We barely spent any time together.” • “I was feeling trapped.”

  3. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Dialectical Tensions • Openness versus Privacy • Along with the need to disclose, we have an equally important drive to maintain space • Even the strongest relationships require some distance • Predictability versus Novelty • Too much predictability can lead to feelings of staleness • The challenge is to juggle the desire for predictability with the desire for novelty that keeps a relationship fresh

  4. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • In one study married couples reported: • Connection-autonomy was the most frequent (30.8%) • Predictability –novelty was second (21.7%) • Openness-privacy was least (12.7%)

  5. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • Other Strategies • Denial • Reporting to one end of the dialectical spectrum and ignoring the other • Disorientation • Communicators feel so overwhelmed and helpless they are unable to confront their problems • Alternation • Alternating between extremes on the spectrum

  6. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • Other Strategies • Segmentation • Partners use this tactic to compartmentalize different areas of their relationship • Balance • Communicators try to balance dialectical tensions • Integration • Simultaneously accept opposing forces without trying to diminish them

  7. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • Other Strategies • Recalibration • Responding to dialectical challenges by reframing them so that apparent contradictions disappear • Reaffirmation • This strategy acknowledges that dialectical tensions will never disappear

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