Emma Soutar and Claire Cooper Southwark Floating Support 17th June, 2009

1. Emma Soutar and Claire Cooper Southwark Floating Support 17th June, 2009 

2. National domestic violence charity Largest single provider World�s first refuge � 1971 Supporting 1,000 women and children on any given day Refuge � who we are I want to start by telling you a little bit about Refuge Refuge is a national domestic violence charity � and the largest single provider of emergency accommodation and specialist services for women and children experiencing dv in the country Refuge opened the world�s first safe house in 1971 � it was a single squalid house in Chiswick. Women and children had to sleep head to toe on the floor, but to them it was a safe haven. Any thing was better that the brutality they faced in their own homes Things are very different for the women and children who come to us today. Our pioneering services have helped to shape the way that women and children are supported. We now run a wide variety of services, including emergency accommodation, community outreach services and independent domestic violence advocates, who support high-risk women through the complicated legal system. We also provide specialist accommodation and outreach services for women from black and ethnic minority backgrounds, so that they can reciev support from people who understand their specific cultural needs. As well as emotional support, we offer women practical support with things like housing, immigration, benefit entitlement, school resettlement and training. Our aim is to help women regain an independent life. And whilst we are supporting a lot of women on any given day there is still by no means enough provision � a recent home affairs select committee enquiry into the amount of provision available showed that 1/3 of local auths have no domestic violence services for women and children; and in london 2,300 requests for domestic violence support had to be turned away in 2007/8 (sad fact seeing as Refuge made the same points to the 1975 select committee � which 33 years ago made the same recommendation to review provision�..lets hope government starts to listen) I want to start by telling you a little bit about Refuge Refuge is a national domestic violence charity � and the largest single provider of emergency accommodation and specialist services for women and children experiencing dv in the country Refuge opened the world�s first safe house in 1971 � it was a single squalid house in Chiswick. Women and children had to sleep head to toe on the floor, but to them it was a safe haven. Any thing was better that the brutality they faced in their own homes Things are very different for the women and children who come to us today. Our pioneering services have helped to shape the way that women and children are supported. We now run a wide variety of services, including emergency accommodation, community outreach services and independent domestic violence advocates, who support high-risk women through the complicated legal system. We also provide specialist accommodation and outreach services for women from black and ethnic minority backgrounds, so that they can reciev support from people who understand their specific cultural needs. As well as emotional support, we offer women practical support with things like housing, immigration, benefit entitlement, school resettlement and training. Our aim is to help women regain an independent life. And whilst we are supporting a lot of women on any given day there is still by no means enough provision � a recent home affairs select committee enquiry into the amount of provision available showed that 1/3 of local auths have no domestic violence services for women and children; and in london 2,300 requests for domestic violence support had to be turned away in 2007/8 (sad fact seeing as Refuge made the same points to the 1975 select committee � which 33 years ago made the same recommendation to review provision�..lets hope government starts to listen)

3. Refuge�s package of services Overview � click to bring up bubbles Refuge has over 36 years experience of delivering services to support women and children who have been exposed to domestic violence Refuge provides a holistic package of community based services Present in a different order maybe: Refuges Combine: outreach generic, bme and floating support Psych services Child support workers Peripatetic staff Sanctuary Independent advocacy � our staff have increased conviction rates by 77% Refuge provides all this but struggles to find funding � but we�re committed to doing even more � 95.6p of every pound we raise at Refuge goes direct to services, our overheads are v lowOverview � click to bring up bubbles Refuge has over 36 years experience of delivering services to support women and children who have been exposed to domestic violence Refuge provides a holistic package of community based services Present in a different order maybe: Refuges Combine: outreach generic, bme and floating support Psych services Child support workers Peripatetic staff Sanctuary Independent advocacy � our staff have increased conviction rates by 77% Refuge provides all this but struggles to find funding � but we�re committed to doing even more � 95.6p of every pound we raise at Refuge goes direct to services, our overheads are v low

4. Power and control wheel 1 Using intimidation: making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures, smashing things, destroying her property, abusing pets, displaying weapons. Using emotional abuse: putting her down, making her feel bad about herself, calling her names, making her think she's crazy, playing mind games, humiliating her, making her feel guilty. Using isolation: controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes, limiting her outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions. Minimizing, denying, and blaming: making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn't happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behavior, saying she caused it.

5. Power and control wheel 2 Using children: making her feel guilty about the children, using the children to relay messages, using visitation to harass her, threatening to take children away. Using male privilege: treating her like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the "master of the castle", being the one to define men's and women's roles. Using economic abuse: preventing her from getting or keeping a job, making her ask for money, giving her an allowance, taking her money, not letting her know about or have access to family income. Using coercion and threats: making and/or carrying out threats to hurt her, threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare, making her drop charges, making her do illegal things.

6. The problem Two women are killed by current or former partners in England and Wales every week. And an estimated 10 women commit suicide every week because they feel they have no other escape One woman in four � so that gives you a good idea of the number of your colleagues who may be experiencing abuse right now 45 � This figure only relates to reported incidents, which are much lower than the actual number of incidents that occur. But it shows that dv is very rarely one-off � it is repeated and habitual. If a woman has been hit once, it�s pretty likely that she will eb hit again 35 - As I mientioned, the reported number of incidents are much lower than the actual number, as this stat shows. I�ll go on to discuss the reasons why a it is so hard for a woman to leave in a moment Two women are killed by current or former partners in England and Wales every week. And an estimated 10 women commit suicide every week because they feel they have no other escape One woman in four � so that gives you a good idea of the number of your colleagues who may be experiencing abuse right now 45 � This figure only relates to reported incidents, which are much lower than the actual number of incidents that occur. But it shows that dv is very rarely one-off � it is repeated and habitual. If a woman has been hit once, it�s pretty likely that she will eb hit again 35 - As I mientioned, the reported number of incidents are much lower than the actual number, as this stat shows. I�ll go on to discuss the reasons why a it is so hard for a woman to leave in a moment

7. The problem 90% - and in 50% of cases children are directly abused. SO if a colleague is experiencing dv, you can bet that her children are being affected too 1 and 15 � As I mentioned earlier. The reported number of dv incidents is much lower than the actual number 23 Recent research suggests it is now closer to 30 billion. It breaks down as�90% - and in 50% of cases children are directly abused. SO if a colleague is experiencing dv, you can bet that her children are being affected too 1 and 15 � As I mentioned earlier. The reported number of dv incidents is much lower than the actual number 23 Recent research suggests it is now closer to 30 billion. It breaks down as�

8. But even though this figure is HUGE � it�s estimated to be the tip of the iceberg and costs are actually much much higher Criminal Justice System �1billion Health Care physical injuries �1.2 billion mental health �176 million Social Services �0.25 billion Housing �0.16 billion Civil Legal �0.3 billion Lost economic output �2.7 billion Human and emotional cost �17 billion But even though this figure is HUGE � it�s estimated to be the tip of the iceberg and costs are actually much much higher Criminal Justice System �1billion Health Care physical injuries �1.2 billion mental health �176 million Social Services �0.25 billion Housing �0.16 billion Civil Legal �0.3 billion Lost economic output �2.7 billion Human and emotional cost �17 billion

9. The statistics 1 woman in 4 experiences domestic violence at some point in her life. Two women are killed each week in England and Wales by a current or former partner. Domestic violence accounts for almost a one in six incidents of reported violent crime. In 90% of domestic violence incidents where a woman has children, they are in the same or next room.

10. The statistics On average a woman is assaulted 35 times before she seeks police help. The most common cause of death in victims of domestic violence is strangulation. Domestic Violence is the most under reported crime in the UK.

11. Impacts on a woman - practical - Unemployment � 40% homelessness cased by dv - Unemployment � 40% homelessness cased by dv

12. Impacts on a woman - emotional Depression � more than x2 as likely to suffer from depression if experience dv Asian women are 2-3x more lively to commit suicide as a result of domestic violence Mentioned 10 suicides a week �Like water dripping on a stone� Depression � more than x2 as likely to suffer from depression if experience dv Asian women are 2-3x more lively to commit suicide as a result of domestic violence Mentioned 10 suicides a week �Like water dripping on a stone�

13. Impacts on children Spoke about our integrated way of working, children�s services and how children and mothers may never have discussed what happened before coming to refugeSpoke about our integrated way of working, children�s services and how children and mothers may never have discussed what happened before coming to refuge

14. Impacts on children So a woman may also be very worried about the impact on her children So a woman may also be very worried about the impact on her children

15. Why do women stay? One of the biggest questions people always ask is, why doesn�t she leave? People are very quick to say that if it was them they would be out of there. But it really isn�t that simple. The myths we have talked about create social pressures that make it very difficult for women to admit what is happening to them. I mentioned the middle class women who may be embarrassed about their reputation. Any the misunderstanding of these myths mean women often don�t get the response they need to help them leave. But there are many other reasons a woman may feel trapped. Community - esp some women from BME communities. Some traditional cultures make a woman feel incredibly ashamed for leaving their husband or for even discussing their problems with outsiders. In some communities, women actually face collusion in or even participation in the abuse from their own families or in-laws. This means that they have very limited access to support. If in addition they have been isolated from the wider community or do not have good English language skills, leaving can seem almost impossible But this issue not exclusive to them. As I mentioned, this is also a particular is for middle class women Money � Nicola will discuss more about the financial barriers a woman has in leaving an abusive partner Keep child with father � women often tell us that their partners are good fathers. They often feel pressure to keep the family together and don�t want to raise their children without a male role-model. Nowhere to go � Although Refuge helps as many women as we can, we can�t always reach everyone who needs help. Unaware of options � This may be because women don�t know that there�s help available to them. Not just from charities, but from the police and social services. Especially if they are not originally from the UK Isolation � Typically an abuser will try to isolate a woman from friend and family either by making it difficult for her to see them, or by antagonising her loved-ones, or by physically moving away to a different area. Equally many friends and family who may not understand why a woman won�t leave and abuser may become frustrated or angry at her, which means she will distance herself from them. Because she feels embarrassed or doesn�t want to upset them. So again, she has no-one to turn to Threats to take children � this is a very common tactic that a man will use. Or he may threaten to hurt the children. As I mentioned before, many women may not be aware of their rights and will quite understandable want to keep their children with them Low confidence � I mentioned earlier the water dripping on a stone effect that abuse has on a woman. Her abuser will have made her feel like she is totally worthless and that she cannot possibly cope without him. He may have convinced her that it is all her fault and so that she cannot expect any better Fear � You can�t underestimate the power of fear on a woman experiencing abuse. If he has threatened o hurt her or the children if she tries tio leave, she probably has good reason to believe it. We know that the point that a woman is at most risk of serious injury or murder is when she tries to leave. This is because, by trying to leave, she has challenged his authority, and he will be willing to use much greater force than before to get her back under control Even after considering all the points in this slide � the question should not be why does she stay but why does he do it? One of the biggest questions people always ask is, why doesn�t she leave? People are very quick to say that if it was them they would be out of there. But it really isn�t that simple. The myths we have talked about create social pressures that make it very difficult for women to admit what is happening to them. I mentioned the middle class women who may be embarrassed about their reputation. Any the misunderstanding of these myths mean women often don�t get the response they need to help them leave. But there are many other reasons a woman may feel trapped. Community - esp some women from BME communities. Some traditional cultures make a woman feel incredibly ashamed for leaving their husband or for even discussing their problems with outsiders. In some communities, women actually face collusion in or even participation in the abuse from their own families or in-laws. This means that they have very limited access to support. If in addition they have been isolated from the wider community or do not have good English language skills, leaving can seem almost impossible But this issue not exclusive to them. As I mentioned, this is also a particular is for middle class women Money � Nicola will discuss more about the financial barriers a woman has in leaving an abusive partner Keep child with father � women often tell us that their partners are good fathers. They often feel pressure to keep the family together and don�t want to raise their children without a male role-model. Nowhere to go � Although Refuge helps as many women as we can, we can�t always reach everyone who needs help. Unaware of options � This may be because women don�t know that there�s help available to them. Not just from charities, but from the police and social services. Especially if they are not originally from the UK Isolation � Typically an abuser will try to isolate a woman from friend and family either by making it difficult for her to see them, or by antagonising her loved-ones, or by physically moving away to a different area. Equally many friends and family who may not understand why a woman won�t leave and abuser may become frustrated or angry at her, which means she will distance herself from them. Because she feels embarrassed or doesn�t want to upset them. So again, she has no-one to turn to Threats to take children � this is a very common tactic that a man will use. Or he may threaten to hurt the children. As I mentioned before, many women may not be aware of their rights and will quite understandable want to keep their children with them Low confidence � I mentioned earlier the water dripping on a stone effect that abuse has on a woman. Her abuser will have made her feel like she is totally worthless and that she cannot possibly cope without him. He may have convinced her that it is all her fault and so that she cannot expect any better Fear � You can�t underestimate the power of fear on a woman experiencing abuse. If he has threatened o hurt her or the children if she tries tio leave, she probably has good reason to believe it. We know that the point that a woman is at most risk of serious injury or murder is when she tries to leave. This is because, by trying to leave, she has challenged his authority, and he will be willing to use much greater force than before to get her back under control Even after considering all the points in this slide � the question should not be why does she stay but why does he do it?

16. Myth: Alcohol and drugs make men violent Myth: He hit her because he was under stress Myth: She provoked him, she made him angry Myth: It only happens in poor families on council estates Myth: Some religions allow it Myths of domestic violence Myths give people a way to avoid or deny their responsibility for the violence: Alcohol and drugs - Many men are violent when sober and many are not when drunk Blaming drink or drugs is an excuse. It can be a trigger, but is not a cause. Stress - Many men who are stressed are never abusive. This idea goes back to the misconception that domestic violence is caused by a man�s inability to control his temper, which is not true. If this was the case, the man would go around attacking all sorts of people, even strangers in the street. If it was about a loss of temper a man certainly wouldn�t have the presence of mind to only hit a woman on parts of the body where the bruises can�t be seen. A question we get a lot at the moment is whether the recession is causing an increase in domestic violence. The recession isn�t causing non-abusive men to suddenly become abusers. It may be that some abusive men, who are made redundant, may feel emasculated by the loss of their place as the bread-winner and may try to re-assert their dominance by increasing their control over their partner. It may also be that abusers who are made redundant are give more opportunity to attack their partner because they�re at home more. This is a small minority though and we haven�t seen an increase in people seeking help that�s directly related to the recession. Provocation - Violence and intimidation are not acceptable ways to solve conflict in a relationship. Violent men are responsible for their actions � it is a choice they make. Women tell us that however much they try to walk on egg-shells to keep their partner happy, nothing is ever good enough � the abuser will always find an excuse. Social backgrounds - Anyone can be abused, no matter where they live or how much income they have. Abusers come from all walks of life, there are no exceptions � dustman, solicitors, accountants, milkmen. This myth often makes it very difficult for women to admit what is happening to them, especially if they are quite successful in their own careers or are from a middle class background. Women don�t want to be seen as coming from one of �those� kinds of families if their social standing is important to them. Religion � No religion supports abuse of women and children. Religion can be an excuse that a man uses to justify his actions or an excuse that the wider community uses to justify their inaction in challenging it. Violence of any kind is illegal, no matter what is used to justify it Myths give people a way to avoid or deny their responsibility for the violence: Alcohol and drugs - Many men are violent when sober and many are not when drunk Blaming drink or drugs is an excuse. It can be a trigger, but is not a cause. Stress - Many men who are stressed are never abusive. This idea goes back to the misconception that domestic violence is caused by a man�s inability to control his temper, which is not true. If this was the case, the man would go around attacking all sorts of people, even strangers in the street. If it was about a loss of temper a man certainly wouldn�t have the presence of mind to only hit a woman on parts of the body where the bruises can�t be seen. A question we get a lot at the moment is whether the recession is causing an increase in domestic violence. The recession isn�t causing non-abusive men to suddenly become abusers. It may be that some abusive men, who are made redundant, may feel emasculated by the loss of their place as the bread-winner and may try to re-assert their dominance by increasing their control over their partner. It may also be that abusers who are made redundant are give more opportunity to attack their partner because they�re at home more. This is a small minority though and we haven�t seen an increase in people seeking help that�s directly related to the recession. Provocation - Violence and intimidation are not acceptable ways to solve conflict in a relationship. Violent men are responsible for their actions � it is a choice they make. Women tell us that however much they try to walk on egg-shells to keep their partner happy, nothing is ever good enough � the abuser will always find an excuse. Social backgrounds - Anyone can be abused, no matter where they live or how much income they have. Abusers come from all walks of life, there are no exceptions � dustman, solicitors, accountants, milkmen. This myth often makes it very difficult for women to admit what is happening to them, especially if they are quite successful in their own careers or are from a middle class background. Women don�t want to be seen as coming from one of �those� kinds of families if their social standing is important to them. Religion � No religion supports abuse of women and children. Religion can be an excuse that a man uses to justify his actions or an excuse that the wider community uses to justify their inaction in challenging it. Violence of any kind is illegal, no matter what is used to justify it

17. Surely things have changed? Sadly recent research suggestions not Stats from 2000 teenagers, boys and girls, interviewed by nspcc 2005 Sadly recent research suggestions not Stats from 2000 teenagers, boys and girls, interviewed by nspcc 2005

18. Surely things have changed?

19. Refuge in Southwark In Southwark, Refuge provides: Floating support Sanctuary Scheme Court advocates Support Groups Refuge Accommodation

20. Refuge floating support, Southwark Informal legal information Housing Family Welfare benefits Debt advice Civil and criminal remedies Emotional and psychological support Education and employment advice� Sign post to specialist services Or just a listening ear

21. Refuge floating support, Southwark Referral Initial Assessment Needs Assessment Individual Support Plan Risk Assessments Safety Planning Telephone Support

22. Get help now Southwark Floating Support 0207 231 5514 0207 394 9356 0207 231 6847 Fax: 0207 394 6642 PO Box 38476, SE16 2WW 24hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, run in partnership between Refuge and Women�s Aid: 0808 2000 247 www.refuge.org.uk

23. Refuge is committed to a world where domestic violence is not tolerated or ignored and where women and children can live in safety. Domestic violence is a crime. It is against the law. And it must not be ignored. Refuge�s mission