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    words matter

    Words Matter!!!

    Words To Remove and Replace from Your Vocabulary


    Words have incredible power in our lives. For one, they provide us with a vehicle for

    expressing and sharing our experiences with others. Most of us don’t realize, however,

    that the words you habitually choose also affect what you experience.

    Transformational Vocabulary is about how you can take control of your habitual

    vocabulary to change the quality of your life. Simply by changing your habitual

    vocabulary—the words you consistently use to describe the emotions of your life—

    you can instantly change how you think, feel and how you live.

    I know it sounds odd but how people speak does reveal a lot about who they are. Most

    likely the guy cussing all over the place is also angry at other parts of his life and most

    likely not very successful in any area of his life.

    Since our language directly affects how we think and feel it’s imperative we don’t use

    dis-empowering words.

    So we go with some phrases and words to remove and replace from your vocabulary.


    Please don't should on others. Please don't should on yourself. Please don't should on


    When you’re saying you should do something, you’re saying that you haven’t done

    something yet and you feel bad about yourself so you should do it. We live with a lot

    of shoulds. We should go to church, we should visit our sick relative in the hospital. We

    should do this, we should do that.

    get rid of that word and either do it or don t

    Get rid of that word and either do it or don't.

    Should can be replaced with "must".

    Telling others what they should or should not do is not well received. Can easily be

    replaced with "May I make a suggestion and I have some recommendations."


    Saying you can’t do something is a sure way to ensure your failure to achieve such a task.

    Like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

    Your mind will believe the words you say and the thoughts you think. Choose them


    I Hope or Hopefully…

    When you say I hope, you’re saying (without knowing it) that you have no control

    over the situation. You’re essentially giving up all your power to effect change. Hopefully

    we will sounds like we have no control or power.

    When you replace hope with the word “know” you’ll find from a linguistic perspective

    you start to feel like you’re in control again. Don’t hope for things to be a certain way,

    know that they will be.

    I Have To…

    Replace the phrase “I have to” with, "I am", “I will” or “I’m going to”. Have to implies

    you don’t have control and you’re a victim.



    Like Yoda says, “There is not try. There is do or don’t do, not try!” You either do things

    or you don’t do things. Trying is irrelevant.

    When you say you’re going to try to do something, you’re telling yourself it’s okay if I

    don’t do it. It’s okay to not do things and not be tied down to your schedule. Being a

    person of your word is challenging but when you remove the word “try” from your

    vocabulary, you’ll find that you feel much more empowered.

    Give it a do! not a try!


    When you use the word “but” it become a connector word that negates whatever

    was used before it. So for example, if you were to say:

    “I really like Jenny BUT she’s such a problem in my life that I can’t deal with her.” it

    nullifies the positive statement before it. It leaves the impression in the mind of the

    listener that you don’t like Jenny at all.

    It has the exact opposite effect. If you were to say “I really like Jenny andit’s

    challenging for me to deal with her.” Buts are only good for sitting on. (Butts). You can

    replace but with and ....it will have a better reaction.

    This phrase is much better tolerated not only by you but and by others listening as well.


    People use honestly to add emphasis. The problem is, the minute you tell your reader

    this particular statement is honest, you’ve implied the rest of your words were not.

    always and never

    Always and Never

    Absolutes locks you into a position, sound conceited and close-minded, and often open

    the door to criticism regarding inaccuracies. Alwaysis rarely true. Unless you’re giving

    written commands or instruction, find another word. If you can find just one exception

    it's not true.

    It's an excellent way to start an argument or fight. "You never take out the garbage"

    "You always forget me"


    This makes you sound uninformed, unsure of the facts you’re presenting. Regardless of

    the topic, do the legwork, be sure. The only thing you communicate when you include

    these words is uncertainty. Maybe can be easily replaced with quite possibly.




    choose, desire, want, will, MUST

    need to

    choose to

    have to

    Desire to or choose to


    choose not to

    always, never

    sometimes, often, seldom


    choose, desire





    intend, aim, will, can, commit to

    nah, nope, huh-uh


    yeah, uh-huh


    I AM

    just, only


    quite possibly


    opportunity, challenge