Empathic Listening: Understanding Leads to Connection

1. Seek First toUnderstand,Then to BeUnderstood Habit 5 105

2. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood 5 106 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

3. Habit 5—Principle Paradigm To communicateeffectively with me,you must firstunderstand me. Result Behavior 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

4. Habit 5—Paradigms Ineffective: I listen with the intentto reply. Effective: I listen with the intent to understand. 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

5. xQ Tells You… “We genuinely listen toeach other, honestly seeking tounderstand the viewpointsof others.” 48% 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

6. Video Diagnose BeforeYou Prescribe 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

7. Autobiographical Responses Advising: Giving counsel, advice, and solutions to problems. Probing: Asking questions from our own frame of reference or agenda. Interpreting: Explaining another’s motives and behavior based on our own experience; trying to figure people out. Evaluating: Judging, and either agreeing or disagreeing. 5 109 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

8. Video AutobiographicalResponses 5 109 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

9. Video Empathic Listening 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

10. Empathic Listening Empathic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. It is not listening to advise, counsel, reply, refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree, disagree, question, analyze, or figure out. 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

11. Ears Eyes Heart “To Listen With a Virtuous Heart” 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

12. Reading the Signs 5 111 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

13. Stop and listen empathically. Slow down. Watch and be ready to listen empathically. Go forward and seek to be understood. Watch the Signals 5 111 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

14. How to Listen Empathically Try it! “You feel ________________________about _________________________.” 5 112 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

15. Seek to Be Understood From the Other’s Perspective I’m excited to move into the Latin American marketplace. I honestly don’t think you could find a better supplier than Indiva. Our quality manufacturing standards are second to none, with only a .2 percent defect rate. Our considerable investment in customer service means that we are leaders in product satisfaction. Please let me know your decision. I look forward to hearing from you by June 10. 5 115 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

16. Suggested Revision You’ll benefit from the high quality of Indiva products. Your customers will experience second-to-none quality with defect rates of only .2 percent and industry-leading customer satisfaction and service. Please contact us with any issues you may have. You’ll hear from us by June 10. 5 115 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

17. Video Nobody’s Listening 5 115 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

18. Teach to Learn 5 116–117 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood