How They Think: How to Deal with Big Dumb Idiots and Emotional Crazies…. The Emotional Crazies Part.
Disclaimer 1. Adria and Julie are girls. However, Adria and Julie are not identical girls…in fact they are quite different. Adria and Julie are different than the girls in your small group, large group, dorm, or family. Despite differences, there are some anatomical, chemical, hormonal, spiritual, and purposeful similarities. This talk is aimed to help you learn how to honor the women around you in a more Christ-like, honoring way….no guarantees of getting a date…but it might help. 2: Not all girls can verbalize this information about themselves).
In Case you Hadn’t noticed… Men and Women are DIFFERENT!!!
What the purpose of this talk is NOT The secret, coveted code to finally understand why girls are so weird “Dating for Dummies” Not formulas (i.e when girl does this, you should do this!)
What the purpose of this talk IS: • Principles for understanding women • To help you understand how God made women • Show you how women think. • What are women struggles • Answer some of your questions/share some of our experiences • Give you our opinions on what you should look for in a womon • Help Sherwin understand why his wife is the way she is. Adria will just have to wait for a different year.
Beauty: The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.
The Need: To delight and be delighted in. Women need to know they are beautiful and that their beauty is good.
The Struggle with Beauty.1) Women strive for validation that they are beautiful- media/culture's obsession with beauty- Diets, eating disorders, shopping addictions and body image.- women need to know that they are beautiful, that they are delighted in.- Problem: they turn to men instead of God. Focus on physical beauty to answer the question.Adria’s story -Egypt- The affect of an absent father....2) Women who fear their beauty-Beauty = power - but sometimes it can draw the wrong kind of attention.25% of women have experienced sexual abuse
Practically, what does all that mean? “Just don’t think about it” is something we just can’t do. We don’t have a nothing box. What you say to us on Monday at 9:32am might still be on our minds during Friday’s lunch or during chemistry lab NEXT month! When I feel like my roommate is mad at me, it’s not just going to affect me when I’m at home, it’s going to affect me all day, and every part of my day. We can multi-task
Your Role in honoring women. Mirror (put truth into their lives vs. add to the lies culture tells them). Watch your speech "You look tired“ Protection (Adria, will take this one)
Vital Role/ Self-Worth Having value, usefulness, or importance.
“Sustainer.” Ezer kenegdo “Life Saver.”
The Need: To be loved. To know they are immeasurably valuable. A woman wants to bring life into every situation. To
Self-worth is the sister of men's struggle with lust? Right next to body image - but they are connected. - feminism - adria's story? - the importance of fathers. The Struggle.
The Struggle with self-worth explains why some girls feel threatened by other girls...gossip/fear
111 1. Chivalry is not dead. She is worth you taking the time to open the door for her. 2. Pursue Her...Step up and be a man...she's waiting to see if she's worth it....and then when you've got her....continue pursuing her.Movies/Prince on a white horse 3. DTR ((Don't use the God-card...= manipulation)D How you can Honor Women
Relational A connection, association, or involvement; an emotional or other connection between people.
The Struggle with being relational =Men and Women COMMUNICATE in different ways.
Sometimes...we need to talk a lot...(superbowl Mr.and Mrs. Potato Head commercial)
“Is she still talking…?” Women often need to think through their thoughts verbally. Not always looking for a fix, but more of an acknowledgement of her feelings. Sometimes…looking for a fix.
I want… • The correct decision should be obvious by now • You’ll pay for this later • I’m going to ask for something expensive • I did something today you are not going to like. • Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV She Said….She Meant…. We need… It’s your decision Do what you want. Do you love me? How much do you love me? I’ll be ready in a minute
Your Role in Honoring Women. Listen with your face! (not just your ears) Practice reflective listening The Silent Treatment/Cold Shoulder
Adria and Julie’s guide to finding a quality girl (aka what should you be looking for?) The NON-negotiable • A Christian actively pursuing her relationship with God. • We know…we know…she has to be hot.
The List Continues… • Servant’s heart/selfless • Forgiving • Loyalty • Strong friendships with other girls • Willingness to wait • Teachable/Humble • Sense of humor/fun