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Communicating Effectively: Working and Playing Well with Others …. Sibyl Melin, CPIM, CIRM, CSCP. A Bit of History…. Hippocrates – 400 B.C. Galen, Roman philosopher – 600 years later Carl Jung – 1920’s William Marston – 1928 (DISC Model). DISC Model.

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communicating effectively working and playing well with others

Communicating Effectively: Working and Playing Well with Others…

Sibyl Melin, CPIM, CIRM, CSCP

a bit of history
A Bit of History…
  • Hippocrates – 400 B.C.
  • Galen, Roman philosopher – 600 years later
  • Carl Jung – 1920’s
  • William Marston – 1928 (DISC Model)
disc model
DISC Model
  • Dominance – how people respond to problems and challenges
  • Influencing – how people make contacts with others and influence them to their point of view
  • Steadiness – how people like consistency and respond to the pace of their environment
  • Compliance – how people prefer to respond to rules and procedures set by others
slide5
Behavior Styles

Task

(DO)

Process

(ASK)

Expediency

(Tell)

People

(Do With)

complete the communication behavior style exercise
Complete the Communication Behavior Style Exercise
  • Circle every word that describes you at work
  • There are no right or wrong answers
  • No one will see your selections
slide7
PUSHY STRONG-WILLED CRITICAL INDUSTRIOUS

SEVERE INDEPENDENT INDECISIVE PERSISTENT

TOUGH PRACTICAL STUFFY SERIOUS

DOMINATING DECISIVE PICKY EXPECTING

HARSH EFFICIENT MORALISTIC ORDERLY

COLD GOAL-ORIENTED ALOOF THOUGHTFUL

MANIPULATING AMBITIOUS CONFORMING SUPPORTIVE

EXCITIBLE STIMULATING UNSURE RESPECTFUL

UNDISCIPLINED ENTHUSIASTIC INGRATIATING WILLING

REACTING DRAMATIC DEPENDENT DEPENDABLE

EGOTISTICAL FRIENDLY AWKWARD AGREEABLE

FLAKY CREATIVE WISHY-WASHY APPROACHABLE

slide8
BehaviorStyles Exercise

CONTROLLER

ANALYST

SUPPORTER

PROMOTER

questions for your group
Questions – for your group
  • Biggest Likes
  • Biggest Dislikes
  • Task or People
  • Process or Expediency
  • Greatest Strengths
  • Biggest Weaknesses
  • What I Need to Learn
  • Song
slide10
CONTROLLER
  • Strong, decisive and results-oriented
  • Provide strong guidance for others
  • May appear pushy at times
  • Demanding of themselves and others
  • Highly self-critical
  • Resent those who “waste” time
  • Take charge
  • Get it done!
  • Just do it!
slide11
ANALYST
  • Tendency towards perfectionism
  • Deal with facts, data, logic details
  • May appear overly cautious and not good risk-takers
  • Decisions and information provided are usually accurate and thoughtful
  • Feelings and emotions kept inside
  • Need to be RIGHT
slide12
Party people
  • Love to have a good time
  • Highly creative and enthusiastic
  • Operate primarily by intuition
  • Little tolerance for those who are not expressive
  • Easily bored
  • Difficult to keep on task
  • Easily distracted

PROMOTER

slide13
Good at juggling multiple tasks
  • Concerned about the feelings of others
  • Less inclined to speak their mind openly
  • Can get hurt feelings or be offended easily
  • What do you need for me to do?
  • When do you want it?
  • I’ll have what you’re having
  • YOU go first…

SUPPORTER

who are you
Who are you?
  • How do you respond to pressure?
  • How do you deal with others?
  • Do you understand your own style?
  • Which style is BEST?
  • Which style is WORST?
  • What value do these tools hold?
  • Where do you want to be more successful?
  • Who do you want to deal with more effectively?
  • How can you make that happen?
who do you have the most trouble working with
Who do you have the most trouble working with?

Ever wonder why?

CONTROLLER

ANALYST

SUPPORTER

PROMOTER

open reserved direct indirect
Open/Reserved/Direct/Indirect

Reserved Relationships

  • Emphasis on results
  • Little concern for relationships
  • Does not share feelings
  • Seen as dominating
  • Fast-paced and decisive
  • An efficient perfectionist
  • Slow and cautious
  • Task-oriented
  • Follows directions
  • Works well alone

Direct

fast-paced

Indirect slow-paced

  • Relationships important
  • Strong feelings of personal worth
  • Fast-paced
  • Enthusiastic and persuasive
  • Not afraid of risks
  • Warm and friendly
  • Slow and easy
  • Shares feelings
  • Good listener
  • Cooperative

Open Relationships

with controllers
With Controllers

DO

DON’T

  • Be specific & brief
  • Stick to business
  • Be prepared
  • Present facts clearly
  • Ask “what” questions
  • Provide Alternative solutions
  • Take issue with facts
  • Ramble or waste time
  • Be Disorganized or messy
  • Leave loopholes or be unclear
  • Ask rhetorical questions
  • Make decisions for them
  • Speculate
  • Be directive
with analysts
With Analysts

DO

DON’T

  • Prepare in advance
  • Be accurate
  • Be direct
  • List pros and cons
  • Present specifics
  • Be persistent
  • Use timetables for actions
  • Provide tangible, practical evidence
  • Be disorganized or messy
  • Be casual, informal or loud
  • Rush decision-making
  • Fail to follow through
  • Waste time
  • Leave things to chance
  • Threaten or cajole
  • Use opinions as evidence
  • Be manipulative
with promoters
With Promoters

DO

DON’T

  • Be fast-moving, entertaining
  • Leave time for socializing
  • Talk about their goals
  • Deal with the “big” picture
  • Ask for their opinions & ideas
  • Provide examples from people they believe are important
  • Offer incentives or rewards
  • Legislate
  • Be cold, aloof, or tight-lipped
  • Press for solutions
  • Deal with details
  • Be dogmatic
  • Talk down to them
with supporters
With Supporters

DO

DON’T

  • Start with a personal comment
  • Show sincere interest in them as people
  • Listen and be responsive quickly
  • Be casual and non-threatening
  • Ask “how” questions
  • Watch for hurt feelings
  • Provide assurances
  • Rush into business
  • Stick constantly to business
  • Force them to respond
  • Be demanding
  • Debate facts & figures
  • Be abrupt
  • Be patronizing
  • Decide for them
tension reaction behavior
Tension / Reaction Behavior
  • Nitpick
  • Leave
  • Prove they are “right”
  • Pull away
  • Withhold emotions
  • Explode
  • Blame
  • Dictate
  • Take over
  • Suppress emotions
  • Verbal attack
  • Talk about everything
  • Cry
  • “Dump” it & forget it
  • Overreact emotionally
  • Wait too long to act
  • Tell others
  • Avoid
  • Give in & get even
  • Worry emotionally
strengths
Strengths

Decisive

Get things done

Detail-oriented

Stick-to-it

Kind

Helpful

Trustworthy

Creative

Passionate

weaknesses
Weaknesses

Impatient

Self-righteous

Pushy

Public Speaking

Perfectionism

Indecisive

Can’t say, “No”

No opinion

Lack self-care

Punctuality

Procrastination

Tardy

where in the organization
Where in the organization?

CEO

CFO

Sales/Marketing

HR / CS

need to learn
Need to Learn
  • Patience
  • Empowerment
  • Take more risks
  • Spontaneity
  • Confidence
  • Assertiveness
  • Say, “No.”
  • Time management
  • Complete things
  • Do what you say
scenarios
Scenarios…
  • Traffic
  • Real Estate
  • Sales
  • Volunteer Activities
  • HOA Groups
clues
Clues…
  • Pets
  • Ringtones
  • Work Space
  • Ordering Lunch
  • Birthday Parties in the Office
they re singing our song
They’re Singing Our Song

Sensible, Logical

My Way

Born to be Wild

Don’t Worry,

Be Happy

why bother to adapt
Why bother to adapt?
  • Have (more) fun
  • Be (more) effective
  • Take leadership; choose where you want to be
  • YOU are NOT your behavior
  • Get more done
  • Reduce stress
  • Enhance productivity
  • Improve all aspects of your life
  • It’s NOT hard
golden rule
Golden Rule…

NOT

Do unto others as you would have them…

INSTEAD, do unto others as THEY would want you to – speak their language.

homework
Homework…
  • 3 people to understand better
  • How to be different with those people
  • Throughout the day, NOTICE how you respond, what you like, dislike
thank you
THANK YOU

Please fill out your evaluation.

Sibyl Melin, CPIM, CIRM, CSCP

[email protected]

760-505-5003

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