Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server.
TALK, TALK, TALK! C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALKLecture 16a
REFLEX C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALK BE RIGHT JUDGEMENT LIGHT HEAVY COMPLIANCE WITHDRAWAL AGREEMENT COMPROMISE THREE TYPES OF TALK CONNECT TALK PROBLEM
Light C.O.N.T.R.O.L. Works In The “Right” Context: Summary When • The other person really needs or wants what we have • Has far less power or knowledge than we do • Feels they have little to contribute in the situation. • We get what we want - a change in them
But, Outside of the “right” context • They don’t see themselves as needing what we have • They Resist us • They have their own ideas They think we are imposing. • They simply resist to show independence • So the other responds with Light C.O.N.T.R.O.L. • We resist their efforts and come back with more Light C.O.N.T.R.O.L. • Light C.O.N.T.R.O.L. becomes competitive
VIDEO EXAMPLE • THE CONTENDER • The president wants this junior congressman to support his appointment for Vice President - a woman!!!! • He uses his positional power and his persuasive power of light C.O.N.T.R.O.L. with threatening heavy C.O.N.T.R.O.L. to get his way with a junior congressman • Note the tactis of influence he expresses towards the end of the conversation as the young man resists
C.O.N.T.R.O.L. AND INFLUENCE • TACTICS - PASSIVE LIGHT C.O.N.T.R.O.L. • Negative Expertise - punished by the nature of things • Negative Self-Feelings- say other will feel worse • Negative Altercasting - cast them into (-) role • Negative esteem - people will think badly of other • Debt - call in past favors
PASSIVE TRY AGAIN TRY AGAIN OFFER SAME INFORMATION OR ADD NEW OFFER SAME INFORMATION OR ADD NEW IN OUR MODEL IT LOOKS LIKE THIS T. ACTIVE C H O I C E
TECHNIQUES USE IN COMPETITIVE LIGHT C.O.N.T.R.O.L. • Trivialize: make light of what they’re saying • Tell them they don’t have enough data; or bad data • Demand proof • Ignore them • Interrupt them • Discount what they say “You gotta be kidding” • Ask leading questions • Neutralize their opinion - “So what, everybody knows that.” Competing to be “right”
COMPETITIVELIGHT CONTROL CAN BECOME A LOOP DOES THIS SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU’VE HEARD BEFORE?
TRY AGAIN OFFER SAME INFORMATION OR ADD NEW IF UNSUCCESSFUL? T. ACTIVE AND PASSIVE C H O I C E TERMINATE BREAK OFF GIVE UP TAKE IT PERSONALLY THREAT FEELINGS MOVE TO HEAVY CONTROL
HEAVY C.O.N.T.R.O.L 0. L. RIGHTEOUS ANGER RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION OVERT AGGRESSION PUT DOWN LABEL MINDREAD COMMAND VENT DEMAND THREATEN CRITICIZE RIDICULE USE SARCASM LIE R. OVERT PASSIVE AGRESSIVE H E A V Y INTENSE COMPLAINT DISQUALIFY WORDS WHINE PLAY MARTYR WITHHOLD DENY PUT DOWN SELF GIVE EXCUSES PROCRASTINATE LAY BLAME LAY BLAME