Extraordinary Conflict Resolution and Sportsmanship

1. Extraordinary Conflict Resolution and Sportsmanship

2. Conflict Management “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” By Sun Tzu

3. Goal To resolve conflicts peacefully, fairly, and decisively while remaining emotionally balanced and maintaining relationships as an example of Sportsmanship.

4. Introduction • Enhancing 2 wood cutters • Experiences with Conflict Management • Is there a need for Conflict Management in your job. • How to recognize conflict. • Respond to a conflict. • Addressing emotions.

5. Definition • Conflict is the result of disagreement caused by perceived or actual opposition of interests, needs and values. • Conflict is any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person. • Crucial Conversations, describes a conflict as; • High stakes • Disagreement • Emotional

6. Conflict Types • Internal • External Is all conflict bad? (Sporting event)

7. Conflicts Occur When... • Resources are limited and two or more parties want to access this resource • There is no disparity of power between them • They both feel entitled to the resource • They both depend on each other and must use each other’s services in the future

8. Sources of Conflicts

9. Sources

10. Conflict can be Counterproductive • Lower productivity • Increased stress • Increased frustration due to time loss • May lead to, • “You are either with us or against us” • Reduced trust • Win/Lose or Lose/Lose mentality; decision made emotionally

11. Conflict can be Productive • Increased creativity • Encourages stronger emotional skills • Encourage to become better negotiators • Learn more about each other’s needs (yours and theirs) • Learn about other’s values, culture and ideology • Encourages to question the status quo Dad at the Glen L Martin Co

12. Eliminate all Conflict? Should you eliminate all conflicts within your team? • Conflicts must be considered as a natural part of team development. Enabling productive conflicts in teams can benefit all parties and reduce emotional stress.

13. Some Conflict can be Good

14. Baron and Baroness • Baron dictates Baroness stays in Castle • Staff told let no one pass Who is responsible?

15. Conflict Resolution Options • Lose/Lose • Win/Lose • Win/Win

16. Our Needs If we feel our needs are not being met conflict occurs, how do we resolve? • Understand (weigh-in to buy-in) • Communicate with the Three S’s • State the facts • Story • Their Side • Negotiate • Active role in responding

17. Personality During Conflict • It is beneficial to know the characteristics of each person in a conflict, so you can quickly address • Determine which state they are demonstrating and may be heading towards

18. Audience Personality Styles • Data Processor • Bottom Liner • Peace Maker • Creative

19. Conflict Life Cycle Quiet to Riot (Silence to Violence) • Where are others • Where are you • How do we become more effective and resolvers?

20. Conflict Life Cycle

21. The Cycles How does it start and what are its characteristics as it escalates? • Annoyance. At this stage, the problems are simply annoying. You would rather not have the problem, but its existence is not a showstopper. • Frustration. The problem is getting bigger and is starting to frustrate you. Concerns are voiced and arguments are structured logically. • Anger. There is a feeling concerns are neglected and a conflict is developing. Objections are becoming more emotional and people are feeling hurt by the injustice. Needs are not met and people don’t feel good about it. • Violence. Matters are now taken personally. There is a need to win at all costs just to prove the point. The reaction may become physical because words don’t seem to have any effect anymore. In extreme cases, people may quit, go on strike, fight, rebel or initiate a revolution.

22. Win / Win Win / Lose Lose / Lose Hidden Conflict Hardening of Positions Intense Debate Action, Not Words Coalitions Lost of Face Threats Splitting Up Compete breakup Knowing the signs of conflict escalation can be used to prevent intensification and to resolve the conflict.

23. Signs of Escalation of Conflicts • Emotions overwhelm facts • Fear and distrust dominate • Perspective is black and white • Information is restricted • Solutions are no longer interesting

24. Remember… • You can control 20% of what you feel. • You can control 80% of your behavior. • You can control 100% of your decisions. It is your reaction to the situation that determines a conflict. “The second word creates the quarrel” “Arguing with a crazy person only proves that there are two of them.”

25. Controlling Factors

26. “You have overcharged me” • “I do not have the correct change”

27. Exploration In this step; • Explore options and try to understand the other side. Seek and provide facts. • Stick to facts and try not to become emotional about issues. Facts are more difficult to dispute and easier to defend. • Avoid attacking personalities. Focus on the task not the individual.

28. Discuss • Each Side takes a position

29. Arguments Best practices in this step; • Stick to your goal. Don’t be tempted to win the argument using all your energy, instead focus on your objective and try to find a compromise. • Understand the other side’s needs. The more you understand them, the easier it is to reduce the argument. • Show you care about the other side and that their concern is is also your concern.

30. Explore possibilities • Negotiate solutions

31. Options Creativity arises;  • Once the position of all parties are discussed and explored you can start working on potential options to resolve your dispute. This is when you may have to negotiate a solution. Discuss exploring different approaches to the goal. • This stage highly depends on the perceived authority of each party, their resources, interests in getting to a reasonable solution and their previous history. • Be very creative and look for options that satisfy the needs of all parties.

32. Commitment to solution • Formal agreement • Documentation • 27,000 punch list

33. Managing Conflicts • Understanding – practice active listening • Move to agreement • Confronting • Use third party

34. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) for Resolution The TKI measures preferences for five different styles of handling conflict • Competing • Accommodating • Avoiding • Collaborating • Compromising

35. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) • Know your Conflict Style • Recognize the Conflict style of others • Assess Conflict situations • Practice using different modes • parent to parent, youth to youth, coach to parent, in theworkplace

36. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) Each conflict mode differs in terms of two basic aspects • Assertiveness – the degree to which a person attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns. • Cooperativeness – the degree to which a person attempts to satisfy the concerns of another person.

37. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) The five modes are described along two dimensions; • Competing: high assertive and low cooperative – goal to win • Accommodating: high cooperative and low assertive – goal yield • Avoiding: low assertive and cooperative – goal to delay • Collaborating: high assertive and cooperative – goal to win-win • Compromising: in the middle on both dimensions – goal find middle ground

38. Understanding the Conflict Modes Two basic aspects of all conflict-handling modes, your conflict mode depends on; • Skill • Situation

39. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) • Know your Conflict Style • Recognize the Conflict style of others • Assess Conflict situations • Practice using different modes Move the coffee pot

40. 6-Step Specific Conflict Resolution Formula

41. Respond to Demands

44. Practice 6 Step Formula • Your tone of voice in this email is not very professional, I would like you to write another email to this manager.

45. Manage Your Emotions • Manage your emotions and influence others when in conflict

46. Emotions • We can become emotional as a result of a conflict. Being able to manage your emotions is critical in maintaining your purpose. • Sometimes our emotions can be based on the situation, people present, past experiences.

47. Anger Management

48. Anger Management • Research shows once in a certain state, you stay in that state and additional arousal will only make it worse. If you get angry, you should not express your anger by shouting and kicking about which often only makes you angrier.   • Others can take advantage of this. • Speaking calmly and time will bring neutrality. • The key is understanding. • Practice a positive response. • Take positive steps to address.

49. “I Feel” Formula Example I feel [......] when you say/do [......] because [......] I feelmy brain is shaking when youbang your fist on the table becauseit is as if I am being attacked

50. When…then • Can even leave out I feel. • When you are ready to discuss this, then we can discuss some options to resolve.