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Gender Communication Differences:. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus, and I’m your interpreter. BOYS: group-oriented teamwork= strong group of friends. GIRLS: individual-oriented one-on-one talking= one or two best friends.

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gender communication differences

Gender Communication Differences:

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus, and I’m your interpreter.

childhood study development of social skills begins at a very early age
BOYS:

group-oriented

teamwork= strong group of friends

GIRLS:

individual-oriented

one-on-one talking= one or two best friends

Childhood Study:Development of social skills begins at a very early age.
differing perceptions
STATUS LENS:

(males)

looking for differences to achieve status

young boys try to “one up” each other

stronger personalities give orders= leader= HIGHER STATUS

weaker personalities accept orders= subordinate= LOWER STATUS

CONNECTION LENS:

(females)

look for similarities to achieve connection

try to achieve equality

Differing Perceptions:
slide4
MEN:

avoid direct eye contact

are still listening, although they may not look directly at you

misinterpret direct eye contact as confrontational or flirtatious

WOMEN:

direct, face-to-face gaze

used to focus on connection

misinterpret no eye contact as a sign of not listening

Non-verbal Communication:LISTENING RITUALS“Parallel Chairs” Study: when speaking, boys kept chairs side by side, but girls turned their chairs to face each other.

verbal communication conversation rituals
VERBAL COMMUNICATION:CONVERSATION RITUALS
  • not to be taken literally
  • tools used for establishing friendly connections to facilitate communication
    • example: “How are you?”... “Fine, thanks”
conversation rituals
RITUAL OPPOSITION:

(MEN)

boys “play fight”

playing Devil’s Advocate

used NOT to challenge but rather to explore possibilities

Women misinterpret oppostion as:

indication of bad idea or mistake

personal attack

RITUAL APOLOGY:

(WOMEN)

“I’m not sorry I’m sorry”

means I’m sorry that happened

NOT a personal apology

used as a transition in conversation

Men misinterpret apology as:

disorganization

incompetence

CONVERSATION RITUALS
conversation rituals7
MEN:

use playful insults and teasing

related to the status dimension

WOMEN:

use compliments

related to the connection dimension

CONVERSATION RITUALS
small talk greasing the wheels
REPORT TALK:

(men)

focuses on information-- details, statistics

sports and hobbies

RAPPORT TALK:

(women)

talking about personal subjects in order to give sense of connection

“How’s your family?”

SMALL TALK: “Greasing the Wheels”
giving orders
DIRECT:

(men)

dictate orders

not bossy or offensive

Women misinterpret direct orders as:

impoliteness

overbearing

INDIRECT:

(women)

use strategies not to appear bossy

“could we do this…”

“do you think it’s possible…”

“I would do it this way…”

Men misinterpret indirect approach as:

not being managerial

easier to say “NO”

GIVING ORDERS:
the double bind for women
THE “DOUBLE BIND” FOR WOMEN:

Expectations for how an authority figure should speak is based upon men in authority.

  • If a woman is direct (masculine) she appears pushy or bossy.
  • If woman is indirect (feminine) she appears incompetent.
quick tips
FOR MEN:

give compliments more freely

use praise to temper criticism

asks for another’s opinion to make them feel included

FOR WOMEN:

give ideas outright without disclaimer

be more concrete when giving orders

Quick Tips: