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Dating and Relationships Presented at the 2011 Penn Stater Transition Conference. July 22, 2011 Christie Gilson-Graves and Robert Graves. Introductions. Name City/place live in. What We Will Cover Today. Ground rules Why consider dating? Values identification

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dating and relationships presented at the 2011 penn stater transition conference

Dating and Relationships Presented at the 2011 Penn Stater Transition Conference

July 22, 2011

Christie Gilson-Graves and Robert Graves

introductions
Introductions
  • Name
  • City/place live in
what we will cover today
What We Will Cover Today
  • Ground rules
  • Why consider dating?
  • Values identification
  • Things we wish potential partners would keep in mind
  • Most embarrassing stories
  • Writing/drawing/speaking/rapping your personal profile
ground rules
Ground Rules
  • Confidentiality
  • no laughing at others
  • All of us have the right to date, if we choose to.
  • no making fun of others verbally or by making faces/rolling eyes
  • no making fun of sexual orientation
ground rules1
Ground Rules
  • letting everyone communicate
  • no one should be forced to talk or do anything they do not want to: No means no.
  • What other rules should we agree on?
why consider dating
Why consider dating?
  • genuine regard for the other
  • companionship
  • status marker/It’s what our peers do.
  • prom/dance date
  • sex/It’s fun.
  • Why else?
values identification
Values identification

types of People to Date

  • which gender(s)?
  • which ages?
  • which disabilities?
  • which body types?
  • which groups of people?
level of commitment
Level of Commitment
  • friendship only
  • dating many people
  • one-night stands/hooking up
  • short-term fun
  • serial monogamy
  • living together
  • marriage
life priorities
Life Priorities
  • Ask one participant to list on a white board what ideas, people, and things are important in their lives.
  • Ask each participant to list in rank order their top five life priorities.
things we wish potential partners would keep in mind
Things we wish potential Partners would keep in mind
  • No means no.
  • safe sex/situations at all times.
the two meanings of compliment complement
The two meanings of compliment/complement
  • Compliment: to praise
  • Complement: a harmonious thing that completes something else
  • Like yourself enough to present a positive image.
  • Don’t like yourself so much that you perform or never listen to the other person.
the two meanings of compliment complement1
The two meanings of compliment/complement
  • Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
  • Spend time on your appearance to show your partner how important they are to you.
  • Be playful but genuine.
  • When you goof up, forgive yourself, say you’re sorry, and change your behavior and thinking.
most embarrassing stories
Most embarrassing stories
  • Christie: talked to guy at dance for 2 hours and had no idea who he was
  • any other embarrassing stories?
personal profile
Personal Profile

Writing/drawing/speaking/wrapping your personal profile

  • avatar
  • nickname
  • interests
  • kind of person you are interested in dating/forming a relationship with
  • Why should someone consider you?: branding yourself
  • List your wishes.
  • List your must have’s.
resources
Resources
  • an adult mentor with your disability
  • your friends and acquaintances at school or in your community
  • your local Center for Independent Living
  • other people with disabilities
  • parents
resources1
Resources
  • www.disabled-world.com/communication/disabled-dating
  • www.disabilitydating.com
  • http://www.whispers4u.com
  • www.facebook.com