Raising Strong and Successful Children

1. Raising Strong and Successful Children Ken Ginsburg MD, MS Ed The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia The University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine

2. What should childhood look like?

3. And . . . who is childhood for???

5. How do we define success?

6. Resilience • The Ability To Overcome Adversity • The Capacity to Bounce Back

7. Resilience • is • NOT • Invulnerability

8. Resilienceis NOTa character trait. • It is affected by supports and circumstances!!!

9. The Bottom Line • Young People will be more resilient if the important adults in their lives believe in them unconditionally and hold them to high expectations • Young People live up or down to the expectations we set for them

10. The 7 C’s of Resilience • Confidence • Competence • Connection • Character • Contribution • Coping • Control

11. The importance of Connection can not be overstated. . . • Family • School • Community • . . . and sometimes, the health clinician

12. Connection 101:

13. Why does it feel like our connection is challenged during adolescence?

14. Listening

15. Sometimes it feels like this…

16. But know that they do hear you…

17. Connection 101 (cont’d):Perfectionism Prevention

18. What is perfectionism? • And . . . why isn’t it a good thing?

19. “Just try your best” • Victims of a toxic society • What do we praise . . . or notice? • Desire to spare us • Fear of becoming the target of anger

20. Finding Competence . . . . . . Building Confidence X X X

21. Learning Not to Undermine Competence • Listening • Letting young people make their own mistakes • Praising the process of trying, rather than just the results • And not over-praising . . .this is not self esteem!

22. Learning Not to Undermine Competence • Talking in a way young people understand • Recognizing the cognitive development of adolescence • No more lectures!!!!!! • The “Cognitive AHA” experience

23. Control - Discipline • Parenting Style • What goes wrong

24. Resilience • Is about learning to cope, in a positive way with life’s inevitable stressors • We might do our greatest good by raising youth with a wide repertoire of positive coping strategies

25. Discomfort Relief Relief Positive Coping Strategies You Feel Awful!!! You Feel Awful!!! You Feel Awful!!! Stress Discomfort Discomfort Negative Coping Strategies

26. Coping • Engagement vs. Disengagement • Emotion Focused vs. Problem Focused

27. Stress Management : Tackling The Problem • Making the problem manageable • Active Avoidance • Let Some things go

28. SerenityPrayer • Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference

29. Stress Management : Taking Care of My Body • Exercise • Fear • Anger

30. Stress Management : Taking Care of My Body • Relaxation • Nutrition

31. Stress Management : Taking Care of My Body • 7) Sleep • Stimulation • Cool Down Exercise Shower • Release emotion

32. Stress Management : Managing Emotions • Instant Vacations • Releasing Emotions

33. Stress Management Plan : Making the World Better • Contributing to the world

34. An Interactive Stress Management Plan • www.aap.org/stress