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Employment Interview Satire: A Journey Through Qualifications and Expectation

In the satirical piece "You Will Be Hearing From Us Shortly" by U.A. Fanthorpe, the absurdities of job interviews are cleverly depicted. The narrative questions the relevance of qualifications and the peculiarities of personal traits in the hiring process. The irony highlights the superficial judgments often passed during interviews, such as the importance placed on appearance and accent. With a blend of wit and critique, the text reflects societal expectations and the often surreal experience of seeking employment, leaving readers to ponder the true meaning of adequacy in the workplace.

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Employment Interview Satire: A Journey Through Qualifications and Expectation

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  1. You will be hearing from us shortly

  2. by U. A. Fanthorpe

  3. You feel adequate to the demands of this position?

  4. What qualities do you feel you

  5. personally

  6. Have to offer?

  7. Ah

  8. Let us consider your application form

  9. Your qualifications, though impressive

  10. Not, we must admit,

  11. Precisely what • We had in mind • Would you care

  12. To defend their relevance? • Indeed

  13. Now your age. Perhaps you feel able • To make your own comment about that • Too? We are conscious ourselves • Of the need for a candidate with precisely • The right degree of

  14. Immaturity.

  15. So glad we agree

  16. And now a delicate matter: • Your looks

  17. You do appreciate this work involves Contact with the actual public?

  18. Might they, Perhaps find your appearance Disturbing

  19. Quite so

  20. And your accent.

  21. Thatisthe way You have always spoken,

  22. Is it?

  23. WhatOf your education?

  24. We mean of course,

  25. Where were you educated?

  26. And howMuch of a handicap is that to you,Would you say?

  27. Married, children,

  28. We see.

  29. The usual dubiousDesire to perpetuate what had better Not have happened at all.

  30. We do not Ask what domestic disasters shimmer

  31. Behind that vaguely unsuitable address.

  32. And you were born-?

  33. Yes.

  34. Pity.

  35. So glad we agree.

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