Sian’s Story

1. Sian’s Story Sian & Co’ vs Worrywart-Homealoner Tag-Team

2. Introduction Hi my name is Sian Thomas. I live in Glenfield, which is on the North Shore of Auckland and I am 23 years old. I live with my Mum (Anne), Dad (Steve), my brother (Simon) and a black Burmese cat called Holly. Simon is 17 years old and is the Head Boy of the College he goes to. I have Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum, which means I don’t have a Corpus Callosum. This is the band of nerves that join the 2 halves of the brain together. Because of that my coordination is affected, I can’t balance properly and have trouble walking over rough surfaces. I also have some learning difficulties and I find it hard to socialise with people who I don’t know. I love reading; especially children’s books and I spend a lot of time at my local library. After I finished at school I went to Unitec for 3 years. I was in the special needs area of Unitec and learnt about being in the community and work skills. I now have a little part time job in my local Paper Plus shop where I am in charge of looking after the Beanie kid stand, which is great for me because I love soft toys and I collect beanie kids. I like to carry a soft toy everywhere with me. My favourite soft toy at the moment is a yellow Care bear called Funshine. One of my carers has had Funshine since she was 2 years old. I am looking after him for a while. I also love to draw and paint. Once a week I go to an art course called Spark where I am learning to draw people. My favourite painting I did there was a self portrait of myself with my cat Holly on my shoulders. Last year I wrote and illustrated a children’s picture book called “Bus Driver Bob”. I got the idea for the book after going on a bus ride. There are lots of characters – like Old man Oscar who falls asleep on the bus, Farmer Fred and his wife Fran and lot of others who have adventures on the bus. I am writing another book about Bus Driver Bob but I haven’t finished it yet.

3. Introducing Worrywart Worrywart is a female devil. She lives inside my head and makes me worry about the slightest thing. She has been around since I was about 16. I know when she is coming to bother me because she pokes me with a pitchfork. I get a stabbing feeling and I think “oh no here I go again.” She makes me worry about things even though I know it is going to be all right; like people being coming late or not turning up when they say they will. If I let her, she gets really big and then she is in control. But if I ignore her or use things to distract me, she doesn’t like that and slouches back to her cave saying “blast, Sian has outwitted me”

4. Introducing Homealoner Homealoner has been around since I was 16. I do not like being left alone when Mum goes out or is coming back from somewhere. The reason why is because a very smelly tramp would taunt me. I know when Honealoner comes because I can smell his stink or I trip over his bindle stick. Tramps, being very dirty, attract a cloud of flies and Homealoner has a cloud of pet flies around him. He comes when I am waiting for mum to come home. He whispers things to me like “your mum is stuck in traffic” and then he blows a raspberry at me So if I let Homealoner in he makes it really difficult for me to stay home by myself.

5. Introducing Madness Madness is Worrywort and Homealoner’s child. He makes me threat, stamp, shout, yell, cry and shake my fist. I see Madness as a storm cloud with a bolt of lightning. I go to Madness when I can’t control Worrywort and Homealoner and they win. It is not a nice feeling and it upsets me and other people around me. Worrywort and Homealoner dote on Madness and they love it when Madness gets the better of me. They say “be a good boy and make Sian mad for us”

6. Examples of Worrywart in Control • When people are late. • Bad weather e.g. tornado, storms. • If I feel pain in my body e.g. on the Round the Bays walk. • When I lose things • If there’s a power cut

7. When People are Late… Worrywart pokes me when people are coming to my house. She says “na na na na, your friend won’t come when they are supposed to” and then she blows a raspberry at me. If I let Worrywart be in control she makes me get upset and worry that they are not coming and I can’t concentrate on anything else. I pace up and down, looking out the window. I keep looking at the clock to check if it time for them to arrive. She makes my stomach feel knotted. I keep on saying “where are they?” over and over. I try and tell myself that they are coming because they haven’t rung or texted me but Worrywart can be very strong and doesn’t let me believe myself

8. Examples of Homealoner in Control • I wouldn’t be able to stay at home by myself at all. • I’d have to be with Mum all the time. • My family couldn’t just pop out without me getting upset.

9. My Team of Helpers Sian Mum Holly the Cat Barney the Dinosaur Funshine Bear Penelope Posh Peppa Paris Jenny

10. Sneaking up on Homealoner

11. My Skills and Ideas

12. Things Jenny Wrote to Me “I was also very impressed with how well you faced Homealoner the other week. He tried to take over when you were home but you kept strong using your tools…You really kicked Homealoner out of your head – well done.” “I’m just wondering if, when you are at home, it has become everybody’s habit for others to be mature and grown-up instead of you. What do you think? If it is happening, how do you think it could be changed?” “We also made a cunning plan about how to trick Homealoner. We are going to sneak up on him without him noticing. We will do this by adding on 10 minutes at a time to the planned time you are home by yourself.” “Mum had also spotted Mature and Grown-up Sian during the week. She told me how you had helped with cutting up vegetables; you went to the mall by yourself; and you helped with some household chores.” “How does it feel to know strength helps you be Grown-up and Mature Sian so much of the time? Do you think you’re strong enough to squash Homealoner and Worrywart’s evil plans for Madness to take over?”

13. My Diary & Grown-Up Mature Sian • Strength diary – how strong I felt using my skills • Grown-up Mature Sian Mum kept note of all the times when she noticed I was Grown-up Mature Sian over the week and we talked about it with Jenny.

14. Grown-up Mature Sian • Catching the bus independently • Shopping for ingredients by myself • Cooking meals for the family • Work at Paper Plus • Helping around the house

15. Overcoming the Terrible Twosome! • Missed the bus and made it home independently • Staying home alone and even enjoying it! • Lost my mobile phone and stayed calm until I got home and could tell Mum • Mum and Grandpa were late and even though Worrywart mega poked me, I calmed down really quickly. • Now I’m living away from my family with some support from flatmates – I’ve achieved my ultimate goal!

16. When I Missed the Bus! One day after the day programme I go to, I went to the bus stop to catch my bus home. After a while I started to think my bus wasn’t coming and I had missed it. I wasn’t sure what to do so I checked on the talking timetable and found out that there was another bus going to Glenfield in 5 minutes time. I phoned mum to tell her I had missed my bus but was going to come home on a Ritchies bus in 5 minutes. When the bus came I showed the driver my bus ticket and although it wasn’t a Ritchies bus ticket, the driver let me on. Five minutes into the trip Worrywart started to get me because the Driver was driving through places I did not recognise. She said “ I don’t think you will get home soon because the bus is going through places you don’t recognise” and blew a raspberry at me. But I managed to control Worrywart until I got home. I was quite upset when I got in the door but Mum congratulated me on being able to work out that I could catch a different bus and she was really happy that I was able to keep Worrywart at bay for such along time. So was I!!!!

17. Mum’s Thoughts Thank you for working with Sian and I to develop a way to help Sian overcome her anxieties. I feel that the sessions we had were very successful. I enjoyed being able to “personalise” Sian’s feelings and give them a human face. This allowed me to take the blame away from Sian so that I wasn’t “annoyed” with her and we could blame Worrywart and Homealoner instead. Sian really enjoyed the characters she was able to invent and we found this a really helpful way to work through issues around Sian getting anxious. It has made it much easier to be able to talk about Worrywart or Homealoner being a pain rather than me getting upset with Sian. Using the techniques we have learnt, we have mostly been able to avoid situations where both of us escalate into “madness”!

18. My Letter Dear Worrywart, Homealoner and Madness, I know that you will keep trying to worry me, bother me when I am home alone, and send me into madness but I’m going to use my team and all my tools to try to stop you from doing your things. Homealoner – I am used to being at home on my own now so I don’t need you to whisper mean things to me. Worrywart- although you give me the occasional poke, I am able to put up with you now. Madness – I am glad you don’t do your thing as much as you used to. So farewell to you - I am pleased that I have been able to learn to use my tools against you. Go into someone else’s head. From Sian