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LETTING GO

LETTING GO. Presentation to African American Family Support Conference By Michele Alexander Bibby MAB Consulting Services February 16, 2012. MY STORY. Diagnosis – 1985 Blame (out of not understanding) Shame Stable when Med Compliant Acceptance – 2002 Unable to Work (GRIEF & FEAR)

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LETTING GO

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  1. LETTING GO Presentation to African American Family Support Conference By Michele Alexander Bibby MAB Consulting Services February 16, 2012

  2. MY STORY Diagnosis – 1985 • Blame (out of not understanding) • Shame Stable when Med Compliant Acceptance – 2002 Unable to Work (GRIEF & FEAR) Education and Advocacy – 2007 Return to Work - 2010 Letting Go of Feeling of Inadequacy

  3. MAB CONSUMER EXPERIENCE 1980’s – 1990’s • Engaged Psychiatrists who provided talk therapy (60 minute sessions) • Older generation med’s required blood level checks • Always sought African Americans • When not available, sought female 2000’s • Brought Insurance Billing practices causing psychiatrists to shift to medication management. Med management more difficult with new generation meds • Resulting in need to talk to therapist to sort out issues • Shifting moods needing med adjustment gets back to the feeling of being blamed (what’s wrong with me that meds are not working)

  4. STIGMA STIGMA: when someone judges you based on a personal trait. This is a common experience for people who have a mental health condition. The belief that you will never be able to succeed at certain challenges or that you can’t improve your situation

  5. Harmful Effects of Stigma • Lack of understanding by family, friends or others • Discrimination (work, school) • Media portrayal of mentally illness as violent and threatening • Medical care impact. Assumption that physical illnesses may be all in your head • Health insurance that doesn’t adequately cover your mental illness

  6. STIGMA IN OUR COMMUNITY • Can we talk? • Why aren’t we talking in our families? • Why aren’t we talking in our communities? • Lack of open, honest conversations leads to a sense of shame for those of us with lived experience

  7. STATS • African Americans are disproportionately more likely to experience social circumstances that increase their chances of developing a mental illness AND • Are less likely to receive diagnosis and treatments for their mental illness compared with Caucasian Americans • Many African Americans don’t seek help • Seeking help is not limited to taking medication • Counseling, peer services, diet modification, meditation are all components of helpful practices

  8. SHAME • When the psychiatrist gave you your mental health diagnosis, did you feel proud? • Your feeling could be due to, ….. • Lack of acknowledgement of family history of emotional distress • Prevailing belief in our community that you should take care of your own problems • If there was NO shame, there would be no blame • Since there is shame, there is a natural tendency to shift blame

  9. BLAME • Who’s to BLAME? • Blame is a passive activity. • I don’t believe we created our mental illness • I don’t want to be blamed for my mental illness • Family tree bears inspection • Gift that keeps on giving • Trauma past bears inspection • Does it have to be someone’s fault?

  10. Shifting From Blame • Shifting from blame to responsibility • Not to be blamed for all that’s wrong in a family dynamic • But it is my life and my recovery, and I have to take ownership and responsibility for that • If illness plays out in hurtful ways, we must be responsible for our words and actions • What have others blamed you for and what are you blaming others for?

  11. SEEK HELP • Can we acknowledge that there are things that are preventing us from living the life we want? • If, so we need to spread the message that it’s ok to ask for help. We should be the message bearers • Don’t be scared to get help. You are not alone in facing these challenges

  12. FEAR CONSUMERS • Acknowledging that we have a problem. Asking for help • Being sick and getting sick • Being Dependent • Living marginalized lives • Poverty • Being able to contribute (work or volunteer) • Being able to live the life we want • What are your fears?

  13. FEAR, cont. FAMILY MEMBERS • Loved one getting sick • Physically or emotionally unable to handle a crisis • Caretaking • Emotional toil of loved one’s illness • Financial woes • What are your fears? • Fear is the barrier we need to breakthrough

  14. What Are We Afraid Of “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, out presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, “A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles”

  15. Stepping Out From The Darkness DARKNESS • Diagnosis • Pathology of illness perpetuated by medical practitioners • Pain of our past from trauma, stigmatization LIGHT • Hope • Recovery • Wellness • Telling your story • Providing Peer Support

  16. GLIMMER OF HOPE Once we have moved from shameto acceptanceand disclosure Moved from blame to accepting responsibility AND Let Go of Fear We can provide a glimmer of hope to others facing these challenges

  17. THANKS FOR LISTENING!!!

  18. Q&A QUESTIONS / COMMENTS

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