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Winning with People. Dr. John C. Maxwell. Critical Questions – People Principles. Are we prepared for relationships? Are we willing to focus on others? Can we build mutual trust? Are we willing to invest in others? Can we create a win-win relationship?. The Readiness Question.

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winning with people

Winning with People

Dr. John C. Maxwell

critical questions people principles
Critical Questions – People Principles
  • Are we prepared for relationships?
  • Are we willing to focus on others?
  • Can we build mutual trust?
  • Are we willing to invest in others?
  • Can we create a win-win relationship?
the readiness question

The Readiness Question

Are we prepared for relationships?

people principles
People Principles
  • The Lens Principle
  • The Mirror Principle
  • The Pain Principle
  • The Hammer Principle
  • The Elevator Principle
the lens principle

The Lens Principle

Who we are determines how we see others

who you are determines
Who You Are Determines…
  • What you see
  • How you see others
  • How you view life
  • What you do
determining who you are
Determining Who You Are
  • Genetics
  • Self-image
  • Experiences in life
  • Attitude & choices about those experiences
  • Friends
the mirror principle

The Mirror Principle

The first person we must examine is ourselves

the mirror test
The Mirror Test
  • Self-awareness
  • Self-image
  • Self-honesty
  • Self-improvement
  • Self-responsibility
the pain principle

The Pain Principle

Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them

truths in dealing with others
Truths in Dealing with Others
  • There are many hurting people
  • Those hurting people often hurt people
  • Those hurting people are often hurt by people
  • Those hurting people often hurt themselves
dealing with hurting people
Dealing with Hurting People
  • Don’t take it personally
  • Look beyond the person for the problem
  • Look beyond the situation
  • Do not add to their hurt
  • Help them find help
the hammer principle

The Hammer Principle

Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone’s hand

tempering your behavior
Tempering Your Behavior
  • Total picture
  • Timing
  • Tone
  • Temperature
developing a softer touch
Developing a Softer Touch
  • Let the past stay in the past
  • Ask yourself, Is my reaction part of the problem?
  • Remember that actions are remembered long after words are forgotten
developing a softer touch1
Developing a Softer Touch
  • Never let the situation mean more than the relationship
  • Treat loved ones with unconditional love
  • Admit wrongs and ask forgiveness
the elevator principle

The Elevator Principle

We can lift people up or take people down in our relationships

four kinds of people
Four Kinds of People
  • Some people add something to life – We enjoy them
  • Some people subtract something from life – We tolerate them
  • Some people multiply something in life – We value them
  • Some people divide something in life – We avoid them
being a positive influence
Being a Positive Influence
  • Commit to daily encouragement
  • Know the little difference that separates hurting & helping
  • Initiate the positive in a negative environment
  • Understand life is not dress rehearsal
the connection question

The Connection Question

Are we willing to focus on others?

people principles1
People Principles
  • Big Picture Principle
  • Exchange Principle
  • Learning Principle
  • Charisma Principle
  • Number 10 Principle
  • Confrontation Principle
the big picture principle

The Big Picture Principle

The entire population of the world – with one minor exception – is composed of others

breaking the selfish pattern
Breaking the Selfish Pattern
  • Perspective
  • Maturity
  • Responsibility
improving your ability to see
Improving Your Ability to See
  • Get out of your “Own Little World”
  • Check your ego at the door
  • Understand what brings fulfillment
the exchange principle

The Exchange Principle

Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place

the power of perspective
The Power of Perspective
  • We naturally do not see ourselves & others from the same perspective
  • When we fail to see things from the perspective of others, we fail in our relationships
  • Learning to see things from others’ perspectives help us succeed in our relationships
making the exchange
Making the Exchange
  • Leave “your place” & visit “their place”
  • Acknowledge that the other person has a valid viewpoint
  • Check your attitude
  • Ask others what they would do in your situation
the learning principle

The Learning Principle

Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something

what s your attitude
What’s Your Attitude?
  • No one can teach me anything – Arrogant
  • Someone can teach me everything – Naïve
  • Everyone can teach me something - Teachable
learning from others
Learning from Others
  • Make learning your passion
  • Value people
  • Develop relationships with growth potential
  • Identify people’s uniqueness & strengths
  • Ask questions
the charisma principle

The Charisma Principle

People are interested in the person who is interested in them

making people like you
Making People Like You
  • Become genuinely interested in other people
  • Smile
  • Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound
making people like you1
Making People Like You
  • Be a good listener – encourage others to talk about themselves
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  • Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely
the number principle

The Number Principle

Believing the best in people usually brings the best out of people

five things about people
Five Things About People
  • Everybody wants to be somebody
  • Nobody cares how much you know until he knows how much you care
  • Everybody needs somebody
  • Anybody that helps somebody influences lots of bodies
  • Somebody today will rise up and become somebody
a high belief in people
A High Belief in People
  • Our disappointment in a few people should not stop us from believing in people
  • A trusting heart is emotionally healthy
  • We behave in light of our beliefs
a high belief in people1
A High Belief in People
  • A healthy marriage is built on high expectations
  • Expressing belief in people’s potential encourages them to reach their potential
the confrontation principle

The Confrontation Principle

Caring for people should precede confronting people

what we know about relationships
What We Know About Relationships
  • Conflict is unavoidable
  • Confrontation is difficult
  • How we handle conflict determines our success in tough situations
road map for healthy confrontation
Road Map for Healthy Confrontation
  • Confront a person only if you care for that person
  • Meet together ASAP
  • First seek understanding, not necessarily agreement
road map for healthy confrontation1
Road Map for Healthy Confrontation
  • Outline the issue
  • Encourage a response
  • Agree to an action plan
the trust question

The Trust Question

Can we build mutual trust?

people principles2
People Principles
  • Bedrock principle
  • Situation principle
  • Bob principle
  • Approachability principle
  • Foxhole principle
the bedrock principle

The Bedrock Principle

Trust is the foundation of any relationship

trust relationships
Trust & Relationships
  • Foundation of any relationship
  • Frame of any relationship
  • Height of any relationship
build your trustworthiness
Build Your Trustworthiness
  • Trust begins with yourself
  • Trust cannot be compartmentalized
  • Trust works like a bank account
rebuilding trust with others
Rebuilding Trust with Others
  • Forgive them
  • Explain that the violation must never happen again
  • Remember their better moments
the situation principle

The Situation Principle

Never let the situation mean more than the relationship

keeping the proper perspective
Keeping the Proper Perspective
  • Do I see the big picture – or just the bad picture?
  • Do I communicate the big picture along with the bad one?
  • Is this a one-time situation or an oft-repeated one?
keeping the proper perspective1
Keeping the Proper Perspective
  • Do I make too many situations a life-or-death issue?
  • Do I show my unconditional love during difficult situations?
the bob principle

The Bob Principle

When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem

characteristics of bob
Characteristics of Bob
  • Bob is a problem carrier
  • Bob is a problem finder
  • Bob is a problem creator
  • Bob is a problem receiver
how to handle bob
How to Handle Bob
  • Respond with a positive comment
  • Show your concern for someone being criticized
  • Encourage steps toward a resolution
  • Ask Bob to think before speaking
  • Keep Bob away from others
are you bob
Are you Bob?
  • Do I experience some kind of conflict almost every day?
  • Do people often rub me the wrong way?
  • Do bad things just naturally happen to me?
  • Do I have a few friends and wish I had more?
  • Do I always seem to say the wrong thing?
the approachability principle

The Approachability Principle

Being at ease with ourselves helps others be at ease with us

putting people at ease
Putting People at Ease
  • Personal warmth – they truly like people
  • Appreciation for the differences in people
  • Consistency of mood
  • Sensitivity toward people’s feelings
putting people at ease1
Putting People at Ease
  • Understanding of human weaknesses and exposure of their own
  • Ability to forgive easily and quickly ask for forgiveness
  • Authenticity
the foxhole principle

The Foxhole Principle

When preparing for battle, dig a hole big enough for friend

assumptions foxhole principle
Assumptions – Foxhole Principle
  • The foxhole is for you and a friend – not a friend alone
  • Before the battle, you have developed a friendship
  • You have also been in your friends’ foxholes with them
truths about foxholes
Truths About Foxholes
  • Foxholes without friends are unhealthy
  • Foxhole experiences forge great friendships
  • Foxholes prove friendships
foxhole friends
Foxhole Friends …
  • Are few
  • Provide strength before & during the battle
  • See things from the same perspective
  • Make a difference in our lives
  • Love us unconditionally
the investment question

The Investment Question

Are we willing to invest in others?

people principles3
People Principles
  • Gardening principle
  • 101 percent principle
  • Patience principle
  • Celebration principle
  • High road principle
the gardening principle

The Gardening Principle

All relationships need cultivation

relationship categories
Relationship Categories
  • Some people come into our lives for a reason
  • Some people come into our lives for a season
  • Some people come into our lives for a lifetime
cultivating a relationship
Cultivating a Relationship
  • Commitment
  • Communication
  • Friendship
  • Memories
  • Growth
  • Spoiling each other
the 101 percent principle

The 101 Percent Principle

Find the 1 percent we agree on and give it 100 percent of our effort

when to practice the 101 principle
When to Practice the 101% Principle
  • Is the person worth the commitment?
  • Is the situation worth the commitment?
  • Is the issue worth the commitment?
  • Is the return worth the investment?
benefits of the 101 principle
Benefits of the 101% Principle
  • It allows you to build a foundation for change
  • It prevents unnecessary conflict
  • It reduces the odds of making enemies
benefits of the 101 principle1
Benefits of the 101% Principle
  • It keeps something of value that could otherwise be lost
  • It helps you to feel good about your part of the relationship
  • It enables you to make the best of difficult situations
the patience principle

The Patience Principle

The journey with others is slower than the journey alone

making patience a virtue
Making Patience a Virtue
  • Prioritize patience as a virtue worthy of developing
  • Understand that it takes time to build good relationships
  • Practice the exchange principle
making patience a virtue1
Making Patience a Virtue
  • Realize that people have and create problems
  • Identify areas where people need patience with you
  • Recognize that all relationships have give-ups, give-ins, and give-and-takes
the celebration principle

The Celebration Principle

The true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed

learning the celebration principle
Learning the Celebration Principle
  • The joy of accomplishment is diminished when no one celebrates with you
  • Many people identify with failure; fewer people identify with success
learning the celebration principle1
Learning the Celebration Principle
  • What hinders people from success often keeps them from celebrating others’ success
  • The people who celebrate with you become lifelong friends
celebrating with others
Celebrating with Others
  • Realize it’s not a competition
  • Celebrate when others see success
  • Celebrate success others don’t see yet
  • Celebrate most with those closest to you
the high road principle

The High Road Principle

We go to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us

high road travelers
“High Road” Travelers
  • High roaders understand that it’s not what happens to you but what happens in you that really matters
  • High roaders commit themselves to traveling the high road continually
  • High roaders see their own need for grace, and therefore, they extend it to others
high road travelers1
“High Road” Travelers
  • High roaders are not victims; they choose to serve others
  • High roaders set higher standards for themselves than others would
  • High roaders bring out the best in others
  • High roaders bring out the best in themsleves
moving to the high road
Moving to the “High Road”
  • Stay on Kindness Street as long as possible
  • Turn right on Forgiveness Avenue
  • Avoid Get Even Alley because it is a dead end
  • Climb to the top of the hill, for there you will see the high road
  • Take it and stay on it; and if you lose your way, ask for help
the synergy question

The Synergy Question

Can we create a win-win relationship?

people principles4
People Principles
  • Boomerang principle
  • Friendship principle
  • Partnership principle
  • Satisfaction principle
the boomerang principle

The Boomerang Principle

When we help others, we help ourselves

giving to others
Giving to Others
  • Takers receive and never give
  • Traders receive and then give
  • Investors give and then receive
investing in other people
Investing in Other People
  • Investors understand that people are of great value
  • Investors embrace the boomerang principle
  • Investors practice the principle of sowing and reaping
  • Investors believe that helping others is the divine work of people
enriching the world
Enriching the World
  • Think “others first”
  • Focus on investment, not the return
  • Pick out a few people with great potential
  • With their permission, begin the process
  • Enjoy a return in due season
the friendship principle

The Friendship Principle

All things being equal, people will work with people they like; all things not being equal, they still will

business relationships
Business Relationships
  • People Knowledge – your understanding of people helps build your business
  • Service Skills – your treatment of people helps build your business
business relationships1
Business Relationships
  • Business Reputation – your reputation for relationships help build your business
  • Personal Friendship – your friendship with others builds your business
truths about real friends
Truths About “Real” Friends
  • Real friends are scarce
  • Real friends are refreshing
  • Real friends make us better
  • Real friends remain faithful
the partnership principle

The Partnership Principle

Working together increases the odds of winning together

i want to make a difference
I want to make a difference…
  • with people
  • with people who want to make a difference
  • with people who want to make a difference doing something that makes a difference
when you partner with others
When You Partner With Others
  • You lose nothing
  • You help yourself
  • You are rewarded with hope
the satisfaction principle

The Satisfaction Principle

In great relationships, the joy of being together is enough

creating the climate for relationships
Creating the Climate for Relationships
  • Shared memories create a bonded environment
  • Growing together creates a committed environment
  • Mutual respect creates a healthy environment
  • Unconditional love creates a safe environment