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Small Group Activity. Divide into groups of 3 to 4 Discuss questions 3,4 & 7 on page 65. The Value Of Self-Exploration. How have you dealt with or are dealing with: Love & intimate relationships? Loneliness? Death & loss? Work & recreation? Sexuality? The meaning of life?

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small group activity
Small Group Activity
  • Divide into groups of 3 to 4
  • Discuss questions 3,4 & 7 on page 65
the value of self exploration
The Value Of Self-Exploration

How have you dealt with or are dealing with:

Love & intimate relationships?

Loneliness?

Death & loss?

Work & recreation?

Sexuality?

The meaning of life?

Other struggles within your family of origin?

Limited awareness of your own struggles may lead to being an ineffective helper!!

value cont d
Value Cont’d

Clients will resurrect themes in your own life.

Unresolved conflicts will interfere with relationship.

Transference = Client bringing distorted past relationships (unresolved conflict with a significant other) into Counselor relationship.

Countertransference = Helper’s unconscious emotional responses to a client - resulting in a distorted perception of client’s behavior, ideas, actions, etc.

value cont d1
Value Cont’d

Become aware of potential countertransference issues!!

Many family of origin situations can be a trigger:

Unaddressed conflicts

Family secrets

Absence of boundaries

Physical and/or mental abuse

Death or loss of family member

Substance abuse

Divorce / separation

Other significant past events

heal thyself
“Heal Thyself”

You must identify your own sources of vulnerability!!

Different ways to engage is lifelong self-exploration:

Individual / Group Therapy-

Not just for treatment purposes.

Personal development activities -

Spiritual activities, meditating, interviewing family & friends, reflecting on your life & work.

Professional development activities -

Studying different cultures.

Taking classes to expand your knowledge of human behavior.

heal thyself cont d
“Heal Thyself” Cont’d

Self-exploration will increase your respect for clients and their issues!!

Be as open and honest with your own life experiences.

Understand how you can be personally affected by your professional work.

Lack of self understanding = constant triggers!!

family of origin
Family Of Origin

Are you working with the person in front of you or with a person from your past??

Identify & reflect on as many family-of-origin experiences as possible:

Partner activity - pg. 74-75

family origin cont d
Family Origin Cont’d

Parents have had great influence:

Father / Mother descriptions activity

Family rules - “do’s” & “don’ts”

unspoken, myths, secrets, injunctions

Family rules molded us - our thoughts, beliefs & values.

Functional Family:

Fewer rules, applied consistently.

Individuation & communication encouraged.

family of origin cont d
Family Of Origin Cont’d

Dysfunctional Family:

Closed communication.

Rigid patterns.

Parents control by using fear, punishment, guilt.

Members expected to think, feel & act the same.

Dysfunction becomes stressful and system eventually falls apart.

family of origin cont d1
Family Of Origin Cont’d

How do members cope with the stress?

Defensive tactics:

Placating - Sacrifice themselves to please others. (all things to all people)

Blaming - Sacrifice others. (if it weren’t for you)

Overly reasonable - Strive for complete control over themselves, environment. (keep emotions in check)

Irrelevant - Constant motion, won’t take a stand.

family of origin cont d2
Family Of Origin Cont’d

Significant developments in your family:

Reflect & respond to questions on pg. 81.

Caution - Dealing with family history can be therapeutic but can also cause turmoil!!

Genogram (Marriage & Family course)

life stages
Life Stages

Personal Transformation - How have you dealt with past developmental tasks? How are you addressing issues today?

An effective helper can draw on own life experiences to better appreciate and assist with the struggles of a client.

Personal development is influenced by:

Family of origin, race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic status.

life stages1
Life Stages

9 Stages (Erik Erikson - Psychosocial Theory)

INFANCY - trust vs. mistrust

Develop sense of trust in self & others.

Need warmth & attention.

Emotional intelligence is established

*fearful, insecure, hostile, isolated*

life stages cont d
Life Stages Cont’d

EARLY CHILDHOOD - autonomy vs. shame & doubt

Develop interdependence & emotional competence.

Learn to delay gratification.

Can show feelings and be accepted not judged.

*Trouble recognizing / expressing feelings. Consider showing feelings as unacceptable*

life stages cont d1
Life Stages Cont’d

PRESCHOOL (3 to 6) - initiative vs. guilt

Learn to give & receive love / affection.

Learn basic attitudes regarding sexuality.

Develop more complex social skills.

Allowed to make some decisions.

*Overly restricted kids develop a sense of guilt and become indecisive.*

life stages cont d2
Life Stages Cont’d

MIDDLE CHILDHOOD (6 to12) - industry vs. inferiority

Increased understanding of self - race, gender, abilities.

Self in relation to family & peers.

Develop empathy & accept other perspectives.

Learn to create goals & meet challenges.

* Feelings of inferiority in social setting, fear of new challenges, negative self-concept & dependency.*

life stages cont d3
Life Stages Cont’d

ADOLESCENCE (12 to 20) - identity vs. identity confusion.

Deal with body image issues.

Learn self-management.

Develop a spiritual identity.

Learn to deal with intimate relationships.

Expand understanding of self.

Move from family system-develop own identity.

*Conforms to others, easily influenced by peers, heightened stress levels, agonizes over individuation.*

life stages cont d4
Life Stages Cont’d

EARLY ADULTHOOD (20-35) - intimacy vs. isolation.

Assume increased responsibility & independence.

Focus on long range goals.

Nurturing others (physically & emotionally).

Finding the meaning of life.

Caring more for self & others.

Engage in intimate relationships.

Find satisfying work.

*Fail to achieve intimacy, feel isolated /alienated.*

life stages cont d5
Life Stages Cont’d

MIDDLE ADULTHOOD (35 to 55) - generativity vs. stagnation.

Engage in philosophical reexamination.

Begin solidifying philosophy on life.

Developing one’s career.

Find meaningful leisure activities.

Establish significant relationships.

*Sense of stagnation, lack of productivity, possible depression, mid-life crisis.*

life stages cont d6
Life Stages Cont’d

LATE ADULTHOOD (55 to ??) - integrity vs. despair.

Put life into perspective.

Reflecting and evaluating on life decisions.

More aware of death / loss.

Accept past productivity and cope with failures.

Free to find new interests, look at retirement.

Deal with physical / mental deterioration, despair & loneliness.

*Unable to “let go” of regret, social isolation & hopelessness are persistent feelings.*

small group activity1
Small Group Activity
  • What Will You Do Now?
  • Points of discussion.
  • Please keep in mind confidentiality, trust and respect issues!!
  • Journal Reflection