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kataleipo, “ leave behind, depart from.” One of the greatest barriers to a good marriage is the failure of both partners to “leave” their parents.

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motive for unbreakable bond
kataleipo, “leave behind, depart from.” One of the greatest barriers to a good marriage is the failure of both partners to “leave” their parents.

The new family is not under the authority nor responsibility of the parents, who are always honored, loved and cared for, but they are not in control anymore.

This instruction was given to one who had no father and mother to leave! They were to rear their children to leave them!

  • proskollao, fut.ind., “cleave, be cemented together” – God’s intent is that only death would break this bond. God determined to love Israel with an “everlasting love” (Jer 31:3).
  • Only after unending spiritual adultery and rejection did He finally divorce Israel (Jer 3:8)
  • Due to human hardness of hardness of heart in unrepentant adultery (Mt 5:31-32; 19:4-10) and abandonment of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:15) God made provision for divorce, though His desire is that only death separate the marriage bond

Note: megas, translated sacramentum in Vulgate. Basis of support for Catholic sacrament of marriage. The previously “unrevealed truth” is the new bond between God and the believer is similar to the marriage bond–

Husband’s motive for loving, purifying, protecting, caring for and building up his bride are learned from Christ ---

Wife’s commitment to follow, compliment, share, fulfill his desires, and make him known and understood are learned from the church.




Motive for Unbreakable Bond

31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother

and be united to his wife,

and the two will become one flesh."

32 This is a profound mystery–

but I am talking about Christ

and the church.

A key verse: 1 Peter 3:7 “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” – 3 commands:

1)BE CONSIDERATE, understanding, sensitive, communicative,

2) BE CHIVALROUS, courteous, serving, respecting her limits, uniqueness

3) GIVE HER HONOR, make her feel like a princess or queen

NOTE: Your prayers depend upon it!!

church father john chrysostom
Church Father John Chrysostom

“Hast thou seen the measure of obedience? Here also is the measure of love. Wouldst thou that thy wife shouldst obey thee as the church doth love Christ? Then have care thyself for her as Christ does for the church, and if it be needful that thou shouldst give thy life for her, or be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatsoever, refuse it not. Christ brought His church to His feet by His great love, not by threats or any such thing, and so do thou conduct thyself toward thy wife.”

mutual commitment
phobeo, “be frightened of, fearful of, reverence to”, used in a worship and patriarchal context.
  • Lit. translation, “in order (hina) that the wife should fear (subjunctive present with hina is imperatival) her husband”—The imperatival force comes from the command to “love his wife”.
  • Show him that …
  • You take his word and decisions seriously,
  • Your are fearful of not following his leadership or showing your submission (headcovering to show submission, thus it must be evident
  • You respect him for his qualities that motivate your submission

plen, “Nevertheless”, a connective that is intended to end the discussion and emphasize the most essential to remember

agapao, Argument: as Christ made Himself one Body with the Church, He can be seen as loving the Church as Himself – in the same way, a husband is one with his wife, so loving her is loving himself.

Note: the love of self is present in all (v. 29), and this natural self-centered love be focused on your made–

Requires commitment, focus, understanding of oneness of two persons

An emphatic inclusion of every husband, “severally each one…” – contrasted with “and the wife” in a generic fashion or a collective view of the wife’s response

Mutual Commitment

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife

as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.

mutual submission
Husband’s submission
  • Loving Headship
  • Treating his wife with same care as he extends to himself (so she feels as important as his ambitions and interests)
      • Quality of love that shows constant self-sacrifice for her benefit






Mutual Submission