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Writing stuff they ll actually read

"To me, there are three things we all should do every day. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is you should have your emotions move you to tears, could be happiness or joy. If you laugh, think, and cry, that’s a heck of a day." - Jim Valvano


Writing stuff they ll actually read

  • If we write REALLY, REALLY WELL, we can get our readers to do all three of these things. Sometimes in the same story.

  • But first, we’ve got to write stuff they’ll read.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Writing Stuff They’ll Actually Read

How to spice up your stories in 10 easy steps


Step one interview in depth

STEP ONE: Interview in depth

  • We like to forget it, but we’re reporters first, writers second.

  • Get so much stuff that you can’t help but have too much.

  • After you’ve spoken with a subject, you want to feel like you know them well enough to tell their life story in a way that their family would approve.


Here s a short piece how much interviewing do you think it took

Here’s a short piece. How much interviewing do you think it took?

  • Who’s that guy? That’s what the copy shop clerk wanted to know when a customer came to pick up the funeral photos of Timothy J. Coughlin. That’s also what his wife, Maura wanted to know when she first spotted his “big Irish face” in a downtown bar. People were drawn to him, even before he opened his mouth, often to tell a bawdy joke or display his distinctive vocabulary. (“Great lair!” he would say to a host.)


Writing stuff they ll actually read

But there was plenty of substance to back up his friendly appearance. When Mr. Coughlin was not trading securities at Cantor Fitzgerald, golfing, or taking his children—Rianne, 4, Sean, 2, and Riley, 9 months old—to the carousel in Central Park, he was planning social gatherings.

“I called him a friendship hawk because he was just so good at circling back and seeing how friends were doing,” said Frank Coughlin, one of his three brothers.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Timothy Coughlin, was the kind of man who gave the towel guy at the gym his start on Wall Street. The doorman from the Coughlin’s Upper East Side building was at the funeral.

“I said something smug about how Timmy was so generous,” Frank Coughlin recalled. “He said, ‘No, it wasn’t that. It was that Timmy was my friend.’”


Step two write about people not facts

STEP TWO: Write about people, not facts

  • Statistics etc. suck the life out of stories. Leave them out wherever possible.

  • Facts and statistics are important—but you get more mileage from them in fact boxes etc.

  • In our body text, we want to tell stories, not write research papers.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

This story could have become a research paper about runaways or those with substance problems. Instead, its about a person and very powerful.

  • Every night it was the same routine. Senior Carrie Semmens brought her knees to her chest as a tear slipped down her cheek. She sat crouched on a simple mattress, surrounded by darkness, crying out of anger and confusion.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

She sat in the room at the teen runaway shelter, The Bridge, night after night, for an entire month this past summer. After struggling with addiction and running away from home, she voluntarily checked herself into the center in Grand Rapids

After doing chores and attending counseling sessions all day, she would escape to her small room where she was left alone to contemplate her life—the one she ran away from and the one she was trying to rebuild.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

“The first three days I was there, I hated everything and everyone,” Semmens said. “I was so angry. But then, I took a look at the kids around me. All they looked forward to was getting wasted. I realized how good I had it and it made me want to change my life. I learned that the hardest part about the shelter wasn’t dealing with the other kids. It was dealing with myself—I battled myself every day.”


Writing stuff they ll actually read

After her parents divorce and the suicide of her best friend, Semmens turned to alcohol and drugs for support. She would party every night and as a result, her grades began to slip and she failed all of her classes.

“I definitely hung out with the wrong crowd,” Semmens said. For a while I thought that I had real friends and that I was really happy. But that wasn’t the case. I sacrificed my morals in order to escape my problems.”

Before running away to the shelter, Semmens had lived with her mother and stepfather. Her mother was struggling with her own addiction to marijuana and her stepfather was an alcoholic.

“At first, I thought [my stepfather] would be good for her, but then things behan to change and I realized he had an alcohol problem. There were fights all the time. I had to go home and deal with it everyday and that was the hardest part. I never got a break.”


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Mary Jane Evink taught Semmens in her World Religions class and behan to take notice of her self-destructive behaviors. When Semmens began to skip class, Evink became worried and after five days of absence, she called Semmens’ mother. That’s when Semmens’ mother finally took notice that she had run away.

“I just knew that it wasn’t like Carrie to just not show up,” Evink said. “There was something definitely wrong and I felt I had to do something.”

After receiving counseling at the shelter, Semmens decided to take control of her life. She moved in with a friend and began to support herself by working every day at a factory.

“At times, its really hard. I mean, you don’t know how much you depend on your parents until you’ve lost them,” Semmens said. “But its okay. Some kids are scared to grow up, but I really wasn’t. I think that’s because I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Semmens is a completely different person than she was a year ago. As she speaks about her past, she treats the matter with a calm maturity and acceptance. She realizes that she is not perfect, but has taken the steps needed to stay healthy.

“I’ve made mistakes and I’m not trying to look like a saint,” Semmens said. But I’ve managed to keep clean and healthy since running away. It wasn’t easy—I had to walk away from a lot of people. And I know without my friends and the support of my teachers I wouldn’t have made it this far.”

Semmens is now passing all of her classes with As and Bs and will graduate with her class. She plans on attending Baker College in order to pursue an associate’s degree in architecture and is optimistic about her future. She does not plan on letting drugs and alcohol get in her way this time.


End with a great quote

End with a great quote!

  • “I still get asked to parties and sure, sometimes I’ll go,” Semmens said. “ But I go to hang out—not drink. It’s really hard but I know I’ll be all right. I just want kids to know that there is help out there. It’s like through every dark night there’s a brighter day. You just have to keep going.”


Step three lead strong

STEP THREE: Lead strong

A story is a lot like a blind date—you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression

A great lead adds drama

Find the right way to start a story—don’t be shy

You’re not writing for your father’s publication. Break out of the 5ws and H mold.


Instead of starting like this

Instead of starting like this:

  • “Despite a heartbreaking loss in the third round of the playoffs, the varsity basketball team had its most successful season in eight years.”


Try something like this

Try Something Like This

  • This is a descriptive lead that captures a very honest, very powerful moment. It appeared in a high school yearbook from California.

    “So this is how it feels to lose in the playoffs. Twelve guys who haven’t cried in years, heads in hands, tears leaking through their fingers. A silence that echoes. The tear-jerking feeling of missed opportunity

    But even the dreadful finality of the varsity boys’ third-round loss couldn’t mask the most successful season in six years.”


Which lead do you like best

Which Lead Do You Like Best?

  • When local artist Shelly Batts saw a clock with the face of the moon in a catalogue, she thought she could do better. So, she made her own.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

  • Maria stares down from her perch above the counter of The Creative Fringe, a downtown Grand Haven bead store. Her green eyes gaze across the room as employee Shelly Batts asks “What time is it Maria?” Maria doesn’t answer, but Batts seems pleased as a few customers look up and giggle.

    Maria is a clock.


Instead of starting like this1

Instead of starting like this:

  • Despite playing in a steady rain, the Detroit Tigers still banged out five home runs in defeating the Cleveland Indians 17-6.


Try something like this1

Try something like this

  • Allusion lead

  • “Swinging in the rain. Just swinging in the rain.

    What a glorious feeling Monday night for the Tigers, they’re happy again. With six runs right out of the chute—their biggest inning in four years—the Tigers started fast and maintained their speed in a soggy, but satisfying 13-4 victory over the Cleveland Indians at Jacobs Field.”


Step four get great quotes and use them early and often

STEP FOUR: Get great quotes and use them early and often

  • Great quotes add impact.

  • Quotes give stories pace and momentum

  • Wherever possible, its best to tell stories in the words of the subjects


Here s an example

Here’s an example

Wrestling is an independent sport. Maybe that’s why Wilmar Esteban picked it up so well.

Esteban started wrestling in eighth grade, the same year he left his mother, sister and brother in Mexico to live in Grand Haven with his father. During his freshman year, Esteban’s father moved to Muskegon, leaving Esteban to choose one more independent step. He has lived with families residing in Grand Haven ever since, eventually becoming a member of Assistant Principal Jack Provencal’s family.

“I don’t know how it all happened,” Esteban said. “My father moved to Muskegon and I would have had to attend Muskegon Public Schools. Then Mr. Provencal asked me to move in and I did.”


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Although on the wrestling mat, Esteban meets adversity with ease, dealing with separation from his family for the last four years has not been a simple victory.

Four years ago, Esteban packed himself onto a small, padded airplane seat, waved goodbye to his family through small oval windows and took his last look at Mexico.

“I did not know how long I’d stay here,” Esteban said. “I got in school, got involved in sports —that’s how things happened.”

Even though his future was unclear and most of his family far away, Esteban was not intimidated.

“I wasn’t scared,” Esteban said. “I was like ‘I don’t know, discovering new things. That is all. Everything happened quickly. I said goodbye to my sister and brother, I didn’t feel sad in that moment. After I got far away it felt strange. I get sad sometimes. I don’t try to show it. I am sad inside my heart all the time when I don’t have my family. I try not to be thinking of it all the time—I can not move it away.”


Writing stuff they ll actually read

That day at the airport was not, however, the last time his family saw him.

“He sent a video home,” Provencal said. “We spent a week filming him, showing his mom around town, introducing (his) friends. And he calls. He writes.”

Esteban did not have time to think about his family in Mexico when he first arrived in Michigan—he was too busy learning the English language.

“When I first moved here, I didn’t know how to speak English,” Esteban said. “I knew ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Hello’ and that was all. I was shy and all I’d say was ‘mhmm.’ Once I was riding with my wrestling coach and I was trying to explain t him about my uncle in Texas. But I said ‘ankle in Texas.’ He started laughing and he said ‘you ankle or your uncle?’ That was something funny.”


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Even though English left Wilmar scrambling to adjust, the American people surprised him even more.

“In Mexico, they didn’t teach you to push yourself or go harder and in wrestling you got to go hard,” Esteban said. “Everybody’s tough and you got to work hard. I always thought Americans were, how do I say, well, like I was stronger, but I get spanked sometimes. It taught me everybody’s the same.”

Esteban not only picked up the English language in his first couple of months in the United States, but he also proved himself on the wrestling mat.

As a sophomore, in his second year of wrestling, Esteban earned a spot on the varsity wrestling team and finished as a regional qualifier.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

“(Esteban) strives to be the best—he always talks about being a champion,” varsity wrestling coach James Richardson said. “He is one of the last people to leave the wrestling room after practice. He puts in extra practice, extra drills almost every day and I know he applies that to more than wrestling. He finds success [in wrestling] the same way he finds success in math class—through hard work and determination. He has to rely on being mentally tough, and he is.”

Esteban has continued with his drive for success. In this season alone, he has already claimed 30 wins.

Not everyone is ecstatic about Esteban wrestling, however.

“My mom doesn’t like it,” Esteban said. She thinks I’ll get hurt, like scratches and things. She says to me ‘don’t do that, you’ll get hurt.’ But I think its my body and I don’t mind it. Moms worry.”


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Not only has Esteban taking the wrestling program by storm, but he has won over the high school as well. Esteban has been on homecoming court twice and following him down the hall, one might learn about a quarter of the school’s names by listening to his greetings.

“He’s open and willing to work hard,” junior Josh Gray said. “He can be friends with everyone.”

Junior Krystal Waters agrees.

“He’s hilarious to talk to,” Waters said. “He used to come and hang out at our soccer practices and stuff. It was fun. He’d come to our team dinners, shoot on me when I played goalie so I’d have something to do—he’s great.”

Esteban’s personality affects adults too.


End the story with a slam bang quote

End the story with a slam-bang quote

“I’d describe him as incredible,” Provencal said. “He is away from his family during those tender ages when sometimes you need a hug. He’s a real conscientious guy, self-directed by needs encouragement too. He’s a very caring, respectful, honest person. Sometimes he’ll just say ‘geez.’ That’s one of his phrases, ‘geez, I can’t believe I’m here.’”


Step five paint a picture with words

STEP FIVE: Paint a picture with words

  • Use your five senses

  • What does it look like? Sound like? Smell like? Etc.

  • What are a person’s defining characteristics?

  • To get this stuff, you must observe and whenever possible, conduct the interview on the subject’s home turf.


Here s an example1

Here’s an example. . .

  • Penney Aiken sits in front of the huge screen that dwarfs the desk in the cramped office of the Michigan Interscholastic Press Association, simultaneously checking data on participants in next week’s MIPA Summer Workshop for high school students and fighting with a printer that is spitting out misprinted door tags.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

  • “Last year I’d come in like three days a week, work like four hours a day,” said Aiken, her short brown hair, multiple piercings, jeans and flip flops pretty much defining the casual style of the MIPA office.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

  • In the adjoining office, Jennifer Buske is wedged on the floor in the doorway, cutting out nametags for all 589 workshop participants. In her black tee-shirt, jeans and bare feet, she could be the poster child for office casual. Inches away from her painted toenails, perched on a small chair is Traci Carpenter. Buske and Carpenter are the Mutt and Jeff of the MIPA staff. Buske a brown-haired, brown eyed journalism major from Syracuse University is gregarious and giggly. Hardly a sentence goes by without a laugh. Carpenter, blonde and fair-skinned is quieter and more reserved. Together they take on many of the jobs related to production of the MIPA workshop. Since many of these require space to set out supplies, the MIPA Office can be a tough workspace


Describe settings as well as people

Describe settings as well as people

  • Presumably Buske’s chosen her location in the doorway , because it’s the only empty space in the offices, two connected 8x10 rooms on the third floor of the Communication Arts building at Michigan State University. While the latest indie-rock hits squawk out of the tinny speakers on one of several small boom boxes perched atop a computer workstation, a mass of journalism-related materials spreads up and out from every square inch of the room. Bulk crates of snack food compete for floor, wall and shelf space with fuzzy pillows, time sheets, photos, employees, a small dish of dog food and what appears to be at least one copy of every training manual and student publication produced in the last half century.


Step six don t merely edit rewrite

STEP SIX: Don’t merely edit, rewrite

  • The best stuff rarely comes on the first draft.

  • When you get edits to make, don’t just change the punctuation and style—keep playing with your stories until they feel right.


First draft

First draft

While Denawetz has seen much of the world on a student budget, she doesn’t fit the stereotype of an unwashed college kid hauling a grubby rucksack across various continents.

“I’m the one with the baby blue backpack and the pink flip-flops,” Denawetz said.


Second draft adds an allusion to the description strengthening the effect

Second Draft—adds an allusion to the description, strengthening the effect

While Denawetz has seen much of the world on a student budget, she does so projecting an image that’s more Elle Woods than grubby college kid hauling a grubby rucksack across various continents.

“I’m the one with the baby blue backpack and the pink flip-flops,” Denawetz said.


Final draft builds on the legally blonde allusion

Final Draft—builds on the “Legally Blonde” allusion

While Denawetz, a tiny blonde who looks like a cross between Reese Witherspoon and Shirley Temple, has seen much of the world on a student budget, she does so projecting an image that’s more Elle Woods than grubby college kid hauling a battered rucksack across various continents.

“I’m the one with the baby blue backpack and the pink flip-flops,” Denawetz said.


Before submitting read it out loud

Before submitting: READ IT OUT LOUD

  • This will help you find awkward sentences and check to see if your writing has the rhythm of spoken language.

  • If you really want to do it right, tape yourself reading it and play it back.


Step seven learn to love words

STEP SEVEN: Learn to love words

  • “Use the right word, not its second cousin.” Mark Twain

  • Different words have different impacts

  • But don’t forget the words of E.B. White:

    “Vigorous writing is concise.”


Here s a nifty story that could improve its word usage

Here’s a nifty story that could improve its word usage

Hospital feels like war zone

Blood ran out slowly onto white sheets as Dr. Ron O’Gorman put his gloved finger into the hole in the man’s chest to determine if a lung had been punctured. “Please stop…no more!” the man cried loudly, his face contorted with pain. “Oh my God, it hurts.”

The doctor, deadpan, didn’t stop and continued to move his finger around inside the wound on the right side of the chest. Although the man kept yelling and trying to kick his legs, the patient’s out-of-control trembling had stopped.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

It was shortly after 11 p.m. Thursday when the ambulance containing the badly wounded patient arrived at Ben Taub General Hospital, but doctors had already been told he was coming. Paramedics reported they had to physically remove the man off a spiked fence at a downtown hotel after he had stuck himself trying to climb over the barrier.

“He was just hanging there,” according to a medical technician.


Blood ran out slowly onto white sheets

Blood ran out slowly onto white sheets

  • oozed

  • leaked

  • seeped

  • exuded


Ron o gorman put his gloved finger

Ron O’Gorman put his gloved finger

  • stabbed

  • poked

  • slipped

  • placed


Continued to move his finger

continued to move his finger

  • wiggle

  • pile-drive

  • worm

  • actuate


Doctors had already been told he was coming

doctors had already been told he was coming

  • contacted

  • informed

  • alerted

  • forewarned


Had to physically remove the man off

had to physically remove the man off

  • evulse

  • pluck

  • wrench

  • extricate


After he had stuck himself

after he had stuck himself

  • impaled

  • pierced

  • jabbed

  • perforated


According to a medical technician

according to a medical technician.

  • a medical technician said

  • proclaimed

  • snickered

  • stated excitedly


Rules for word choice

Rules forWORD CHOICE

  • When you have a choice among words, choose the one with the narrowest meaning.

  • Use words you understand. Express. Don’t try to impress.

  • Be consistent with tone.

  • Write with your ear. Listen to the sound of each sentence, paragraph. Use mild alliteration to establish pace and flow.


Step eight never let the facts get in the way of a good story embrace narrative journalism

STEP EIGHT: Never let the facts get in the way of a good story. Embrace narrative journalism

Think back to lit class (better yet, think about your favorite movies or TV Shows)— Take the elements of a story and put them into your journalistic writing

  • Who = Character

  • What = Plot

  • Where, When = Setting

  • Why = Theme


A great example

A Great Example

  • Why does this story work?

  • Interesting lead

  • Great subject

  • Powerful and deep quotes

  • Logical, smooth flow

  • Strong closing


Writing stuff they ll actually read

Billy Don Gregory looked down at his right hand, callused from more bull rides than he can count.

“It don’t bend like I want it to,” he said.

The reason is that it was nearly ripped off five years ago when a bull fell on him, jerking his hand against the rope wrapped around it. He was left with a nasty scar around most of his right wrist from surgery to reattach it — and a desire to get back on another bull.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

“I couldn’t see myself not riding bulls,” Gregory said. “I may be crazy but I’m having fun.”

It was nearly midnight, Oct. 8, 1999 at Billy Bob’s Texas in Fort Worth when Gregory mounted the bull that almost cost him his hand. It was the last ride of the night, and the bull let Gregory know immediately that it wasn’t going to be an easy ride, he recalled. The bull bucked several times while still in the chute, finally rearing back so far that he fell backwards, penning Gregory on the ground and yanking his hand against the rope.


Writing stuff they ll actually read

“I prayed to God all the way to the hospital to save my hand,” Gregory said. “I couldn’t picture myself with a hook on the end of my arm.”

The immediate prognosis from a team of doctors at John Peter Smith Hospital wasn’t good.

“They said my hand couldn’t be saved. I said, ‘I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you try.’ They tried and did it. I could hug them every day.”


Finish with a great quote

Finish with a great quote

Doctors told him to stay off bulls for at least three years. But he was back on them seven months later, riding left-handed. After two months, he tried it right-handed.

“I’ll have to admit I was a little scared,” he said. “But once this bull-riding bug gets in your blood, it’s hard to shake it. My chances of making it to the big time are not very good now, what with this bum hand. But I still get a kick out of climbing on the back of a bull and as long as my wife lets me, I’ll be riding them.”


Step nine open up your writer s toolbox

STEP NINE: Open up your writer’s toolbox

  • Anecdote

  • Dialogue

  • Simile

  • Metaphor

  • Parallel Sentence Structure

  • Alliteration

  • Personification

  • Partial Sentences


Anecdote

Anecdote

  • A story that illustrates the big picture. A snapshot that represents the whole.

    James Miller was calling roll in his first-period history class last month when one of his 14-year old students started shouting, throwing paper and walking around the room.

    The Stockard Middle School teacher’s cue to send him to the office came when the boy pulled a marijuana cigarette out of his pocket.

    But before Miller could fill out the principal’s referral form, witnesses said, the youth punched him repeatedly in the face, slammed him against a chalkboard and knocked him out.

    A classroom full of stunned eighth-graders looked on as the boy kicked the unconscious teacher in the chest and fled. Miller was left with a broken nose, loose teeth, eye damage and bruises. He has been on medical leave since the attack Jan. 7 at the west Oak Cliff school.

    In Dallas and other urban school districts across the nation, the safety of teachers and principals is a growing concern.


Dialogue

Dialogue

Carrying only a clipboard and a malfunctioning pen Judy Coyle raps briskly on the apartment door. A moment later, a 16-year-old girl opens it.

“How come you’re not in school?” Coyle asks.

“’Cause I don’t feel good,” she replies.

“I’ve sent you a warning,” Coyle says. “I’m fixing to go one step further. I can take your mother to court or you can be in school. Now, y’all don’t have money for that. I’d hate to bring the police after you — but I will.

“Now I expect to see you in school tomorrow.”

Judy Coyle is on the job. Her silver shield, which she flashes police-style as she makes her rounds, identifies her as an attendance officer for the Irving Independent School District. But the children she tracks down know her as the truant officer


Internal dialogue the stuff going on inside somebody s head

Internal Dialogue (the stuff going on inside somebody’s head)

Though they made her dizzy and sick to her stomach, Lisa smoked because they made her feel accepted, inside. She chased away the nagging fears of cancer, justified them by saying to herself, “I’m just doing this for now. I won’t get hooked. I can quit any time I like.”


Simile

Simile

Johnny Cash was a rare breed, an earthy yet dazzling poet-artist, a 6-foot-2 man with crevices like hatchet marks through his cheeks who sold more than 50 million records.


Ny times 3 6 05

NY TIMES 3/6/05

  • The man himself has a calm, earnest manner that takes in much more than it gives out. His blue eyes seem as big as satellite dishes

  • Beck's jokey, jivey sound is disarming, like the patter of a scrawny kid who can't make the football team but uses wit to insinuate himself into the in-crowd


Be careful with similes it s a fine line between being clever and being silly

Be careful! With similes, it’s a fine line between being clever and being silly.

  • Her vocabulary was as bad as like ‘whatever’

  • He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree

  • Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze

  • The hailstones leaped from the pavement like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E-Coli and he room-temperature Canadian beef.


Metaphor

Metaphor

Ponce de Leon Avenue is a fat boy’s dream.

In one two-block stretch, just north of downtown Atlanta, the drive-through fast-food restaurants are door-to-door, and the hungry but very busy people are bumper-to-bumper. A motorist can purchase three different brands of fried chicken, grab a handful of soft tacos, throw a pizza in the back seat, sample four different nationally advertised cheeseburgers and slurp down a butter-pecan milk shake and never get his car out of first gear.


Metaphor1

Metaphor

  • "She was famine's face--a 3-year-old Eithopian girl snatched from death and gazing at the world through exhausted eyes, her emaciated body wrapped in a white burial shroud.

    In 1984, Birhan Weldu's face haunted the Band Aid rock concert for hunger relief. Today, she is a healthy college student who represents both the success of the relief effort and the world's failure to deal with the causes of famine.


Parallel sentence structure repeating a sentence structure for effect pace

Parallel sentence structure: Repeating a sentence structure for effect, pace.

  • By Dejan Kovacevic, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

    For one night and, yes, a good chunk of one morning, they were a team.

    One that had a purpose after 48 games of mostly misery.

    One determined to finish this one off after so many close calls.

    One that was standing at the top of the dugout, hands linked, hoping and hopping with nervous energy, all eager to see if Jason Bay's desperate sprint from third base would pay off.

    "It's the kind of moment," reliever Ryan Vogelsong would say later, "that brings everyone together."

    What followed would tear them apart, but only because they had to leap chaotically over the railing to mob Bay at home plate after he scored the run that ended one of the Pirates' great games in recent memory, an 18-inning, 8-7 triumph against the Houston Astros earlier today at PNC Park.


Paralell sentence structure

Paralell Sentence Structure

  • At 16, she should have been getting her driver’s license. She should have been staying out late and worrying about when the next new episode of The OC would be on. Instead, senior Christina Treat was wondering if she would be able to be the parent her son needed her to be at such a young age.


Paralell sentence structure1

Paralell Sentence Structure

  • Great? It was amazing by any measure, the culmination of perhaps the finest semifinal weekend in NCAA history, three games going into overtime and this one -- well, this one squeezing both teams like dishrags, draining them of everything they had. Anyone who doubted the Spartans' resolve wasn't watching. Anyone who doubted their character wasn't watching. Anyone who doubted their seniors wasn't watching.


Personification

Personification

  • Chris Osborne and Gordon Ratcliffe stood on the front steps of their church, holding hands and smiling.

    The morning clouds have teared up, sprinkling rain on the church grounds. After living together for 11 years, the Canadian men are married. Friends approach, offering best wishes, gifts, kisses and hugs.


Partial sentence

Partial Sentence

  • After Jean Wheeler gave birth at age 17, she didn’t know what to do when her son cried. Or how to change his diaper. Or when to switch from milk to cereal.

    She learned quickly, though, through the school’s Pregnancy Education and Parenting Program.


Step 10 read good examples

STEP 10: Read good examples.

  • This gives inspiration.

  • The more good stuff you read, the better you will write.


Some excellent resources

Some Excellent Resources

  • The Radical Write: By Bobby Hawthorne

  • The Live Albom (any edition): By Mitch Albom

  • The New York Times (you can register for the on-line version at www.nytimes.com

  • Portraits of 9/11/01 –the collected “Portraits of Death” from the New York Times.

  • www.freep.com

  • www.detnews.com

  • www.mlive.com


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