Conflict in Team Environments – Part 2

Conflict in Team Environments – Part 2 Professional Year Program - Unit 6: Communicating in work teams to achieve professional goals

Conflict in Team Environments – Part 2 (This is a follow-on session from Part 1. Please see part 1 for full overview of session)

Getting to the Heart of the Problem • Despite our best efforts and our good use of communication techniques, our attempts can seem to be for nothing. • Behaviourswe thought we had influenced positively (or corrected altogether) can regress. • What’s missing?

Getting to the Heart of the Problem What’s missing? Often we are not getting to the heart of the problem. Discuss – What does it mean to get to the heart of the problem?

Getting to the Heart of the Problem To get to the heart of the problem, consider using The Three F’s strategy (Facts, Frequency & Frustrated Relationship). To evaluate the situation go through each of the following and the outcome will hopefully you have a deeper understanding of the issue (and how to move forward) .

Getting to the Heart of the Problem Facts • What are the facts of the issue? • Create a list so that you do not get sidetracked while you plan your conversation. • Don’t drag in unrelated issues that have happened previously.

Getting to the Heart of the Problem Frequency • Make sure you have a very clear history of the frequency of the issue. • For example: How often is the individual late? How late are they? • Describe the pattern like this: “This is the second time that I’ve called this to your attention. You agreed it would not happen again. Now I am concerned that I cannot trust you to keep a promise.” • Revealing that you notice a pattern brings the history to the forefront. The history is important because repeated frequency erodes your trust.

Getting to the Heart of the Problem Frustrated Relationship • If your real concern is about the relationship, but you only focus on the pattern, then you are not likely to get the change that you are aiming for. • You have to discuss what is important to you in terms of the relationship.

Managing Anger • Too many people are angry. • Workplace violence is an extreme example, but there are examples everywhere. • Anger interferes with teamwork and productivity. • It also contributes to an environment that is negative, hostile, and frightening.

Managing Anger • Because anger is a natural emotion, it would be unrealistic to ask people not to feel it. • Instead, the goal is to help (and sometimes, require) that people deal with their anger appropriately. • Problems don’t come from anger. Problems come from the negative ways people express anger.

Managing Anger • Group Activity How can we manage our own anger? • Break into small groups • Come up with 3 positive ways to use or manage your own anger • Come up with 3 negative ways to use or manage your own anger

Managing Anger How can we manage our own anger? • Express feelings appropriately and skillfully • Release your physical tension • Analysewhat’s going on • Address your fears • Put yourself in charge of you • Use your emotions effectively • Approach the situation logically

Managing Anger Dealing with Other People’s Anger • Use positive self talk. • Check your body language. • Acknowledge the other person’s feelings. • Share your own feelings and fears (carefully, of course). • Show that you are listening. • Make a conciliatory gesture. • Express your own needs/wants calmly and persistently. • Keep in mind that their self-esteem may be low.

Managing Anger Assertive Anger • Anger can be used (channeled) in a positive way • What follows are some tips for using assertive anger

Managing Anger Assertive Anger • Start positively • Be direct • Specify the degree of anger • Don’t accuse others of making you angry • Share your feelings of threat and fear • Acknowledge your responsibility • Avoid self-put downs or invitations to criticism or retaliatory anger

Dealing with Problems Problems will happen when working in a team!

Dealing with Problems • Assess the situation • Meet the difficult behavior head-on • Stay calm and objective • Be up-front • Make it a two-way conversation • Put yourself in their place • Be flexible • Be tolerant

The Three-Step Conflict Resolution Model What follows is a three step model for addressing conflict.

The Three-Step Conflict Resolution Model

The Three-Step Conflict Resolution Model Application Activity • Receive the handout ‘Conflict Cheat Sheet’ & ‘Three-Step Conflict Resolution Model Worksheet’ • Individually (5mins)– Think back to your pre-work and the conflict siutation you identified at the start of this session. Using the model make a plan on how the conversation could happen. • In pairs (5mins) – Discuss your plans with each other and give feedback. (DON’T REVEAL NAMES!)

De-Stress Options to Use When Things Get Ugly • Belly breathing • Visualize • Music • Acupressure • Massage • Laughter

De-Stress Options to Use When Things Get Ugly • Take a deep breath and relax. • Tell yourself that getting upset won’t help. • Remind yourself that just as long as you keep your cool, you’re in control. • I’m not going to let him/her get to me. • I can’t change him/her with anger; I’ll just upset myself. • I can find a way to say what I want to without anger. • Stay calm – no sarcasm, no attacks, no judgments. • I can stay calm and relaxed.

De-Stress Options to Use When Things Get Ugly • No one is right, no one is wrong. We just have different needs. • No matter what is said, I know I’m a good person. • I’ll stay rational; anger won’t solve anything. • Let them look all foolish and upset. I can stay cool and calm. • His/her opinion isn’t important. I won’t be pushed into losing my cool. • Take a time-out. Cool off, then come back and deal with it. • Some situations don’t have good solutions. Looks like this is one of them. No use getting all bent out of shape about it.

Conflict in Team Environments – Part 2