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Conflict R esolution

Conflict R esolution. How to discuss touchy subjects ?. Is every kind of behavior allowed in a conflict ?. What kind of restictions are there ? For what reasons ?. Start of the conflict. Most often , who brings up a conflict ? In a bar fight :

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Conflict R esolution

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  1. ConflictResolution How to discusstouchy subjects?

  2. Is everykind of behaviorallowedin a conflict? Whatkind of restictions are there? For whatreasons?

  3. Start of the conflict Most often, whobrings up a conflict? In a bar fight: If youimmediatelystartdrawingyour gun? Thus: do not startwith guns.

  4. Softenyour start-upHow? Complain, but do not blame Makestatementsthatstartwith ‘I’ instead of ‘you’ Describewhatis happening Do not evaluate or judge Be clear Be polite Be appreciative Do not store things up

  5. During the conflict Conveyacceptance and understanding For husbands: avoidharsh start-ups When? Beforeitisbrought-up How? Make sure sheis feeling known, respected and loved Make sure sheknowsthatyouaccepther influence

  6. During the conflictRepairattempts What are repairattempts? Remarks to de-escalate; to keep the discussion focused on the issue; to recognizethatyou have goofed. Important! The repairattemptsgetthrough to the spouse

  7. Whatseperates stable, emotionally intelligent marriagesfromothers? Happy marriages Othermarriages Couples send and receiverepairattemptsatease Even the mosteloquentrepairattemptsfallon deafears.

  8. Flooding Whatisflooding? One reactstooemotionally; Body has a fight or flight reaction. The listenerisflooded and thencannotfunctionanymorecognitivelyappropriate Whenthisis the case: The listenerdoes not get the speaker’srepairattempt

  9. FloodingWhat to do? Let yourspouse know thatyou are feeling flooded You need a break Break shouldtakeat least 20 minutes Do somethingsoothing and distracting likelistening to music or exercising

  10. FloodingDifferencesbetween men and women men women Take longer to calm down Calm down much more easier

  11. The corner stone of anyconflict: compromise: Accepting influence COMPROMISE THE ONLY SOLUTION TO MARITAL PROBLEMS

  12. Conflictresolutionis not about changingyourpartner • It is about: • Negotiating • Findingcommonground • Findingways to accomodateeachother To cherish and to hold Untilyouacceptyourpartnes’sflaws and foibles, youwill not be able to compromise

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