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Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships Prepared For Montana State University January 2012

Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships Prepared For Montana State University January 2012. Suzanne McCorkle, Ph.D. What happens when conflicts are not managed well?. To the work group ? ? ?. To the individual ? ? ?. Causes of Conflict. Emotions. Style. Information.

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Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships Prepared For Montana State University January 2012

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  1. Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsPrepared ForMontana State UniversityJanuary 2012 Suzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.

  2. What happens when conflicts are not managed well? To the work group ? ? ? To the individual ? ? ?

  3. Causes of Conflict Emotions Style Information Relationships Values Substance

  4. About data • Misinformation • Having different information • Which data to use • Not having enough information • Withholding information Information Conflicts

  5. Emotion conflicts • About feelings, ego, self-esteem, feelings of entitlement • Arise when other conflicts get too ripe • Lead to exceptionally narrow thinking • Emotions short-circuit the ability to reason and to listen

  6. Value conflicts • About deeply rooted beliefs and feelings • Religion, politics, work ethics • In some ways, easiest to manage in work context

  7. Relationship conflicts • About who we are to each other • Boss/subordinate, working relationships • Who has what authority? • Are we friends? • Can co-workers, students/professors have deep relationships? • Do we have the same goals about our relationship?

  8. About real or perceived scarce resources • Money, time, space, equipment …. • Amenable to regular problem solving once the issue is isolated Substance conflicts

  9. About how to do things, how to communicate, which way to act is best • Common with strong personalities • Frequent cause of annoyances • Causes conflict when style difference is seen as obstruction Style conflicts

  10. Quick Chat What about other people’s communication really irritates you?

  11. When styles clash, conflict often results.

  12. Common Style Differences • Meeting management style • Single-taskers vs. multi-taskers • Verbal conversational style • Dialect • Rapport vs. Report • Pause Gap • Personality style • Conflict style • Escalators/Fractionators • General Conflict Style • Cultural style

  13. What’s Your Conflict Style? Collaborators Competitors Avoiders

  14. What are the Problems with Relying on One Style? ? ? ? ?

  15. What is the First Response to Types of Conflict? • Information • Emotion • Substantive • Values • Relationship • Style

  16. Check Perception Differences Perception is not objective

  17. What do you see?

  18. In Stress or Conflict….. • People revert to their basic style. • Make Self-Serving evaluations. “I am thoughtful; you take all day and can’t make a decision.”

  19. Recognizing Perception Differences is a Skill

  20. Perception Differences Cause Misunderstandings: Make Negotiation Harder Moral =

  21. Quick Quiz: What’s Your Decision-Making Preference? Long Term Short Term Fact Gut By the Book Just Do It Slow Fast

  22. What’s Your Work Preference? Social Task-Oriented Agenda Free-form Agreeable Argumentative Critical Creative

  23. Mark Your Style of Expression Loud Soft-spoken Passionate Controlled Confront Indirect Say What You Think Concern for Other’s Feelings

  24. Go back and mark the style of your boss (or a co-worker). Are there style differences? If unrecognized, do these differences make negotiation harder?

  25. Quick Chat • Do you have a significant style difference with a boss or co-worker? • What can you do (mentally or in discussion with the other) to prevent the style difference from hindering work happiness, productivity, or making negotiations more difficult?

  26. Smart Negotiation #2: Always Work From Interests Positions and demands are on the Surface Interests or needs lurk under the waterline Working at the “position” level is inefficient and may harm relationships. 26

  27. Conflict itself is normal.It is what we choose to do during conflict that leads to beneficial or harmful results.

  28. Apply McCorle’s Three Laws of Humane Responses to People Problems

  29. The First Law: Save Yourself

  30. The Second Law Give the Other Person Every Chance Photo by MichaelMarcol

  31. The Third Law Care About the Future More than The Past

  32. For Further General Reading Personal Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (textbook) Edition: 1stAuthors: McCorkle, Suzanne; Reese, Melanie J.ISBN10:  0205499880ISBN13:  9780205499885Format:  PaperbackPub. Date:  1/1/2010Publisher: Allyn & Bacon Available at your personal favorite on-line book purchasing site.

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