R Life

1. R Life

2. We would like to acknowledge that this workshop is being held on traditional ___________land.

3. Workshop Outline • Introductions and Icebreaker • Understanding Resilience • Break • Understanding Resilience • Resiliency and Trauma • Lunch • Resiliency and Culture • Exploring the Youth Curriculum and Toolkit

4. “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. 4

5. What is Resiliency? • In what ways are you resilient? • What skills do you use when you are being resilient? How do you know? • Who needs resilience? • When is resiliency needed?

6. What is Resiliency? Small Group Discussion • Why are some people able to bounce back from adversity while others are harder hit? • How does the family we grow up in make a difference between whether or not we are resilient? • What else influences resilience? • How can service providers promote resilience in individuals? Families? Community?

7. Resilience is the ability to: • Persevere or adapt when things go awry • Overcome obstacles • Bounce back from major setbacks • Reach out and broaden your world

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9. What is Resiliency? • Stress • Perception • Action

10. Why is Resilience Important? • Why do you think resiliency is such an important factor for individuals? In families? In community?

11. Why is Resilience Important? • Resilience is ever-present: the thread that runs through all aspects of our lives. • Personal development, health or happiness will be affected by adversity, making it through these challenges is vital. • People who view adversity as a challenge are more likely to thrive in whatever they do and handle stress with more ease. • Practicing resilience can promote mental health and reduce substance misuse.

12. What is Resiliency? A resilient view means: • Accurate and flexible thinking • Creative problem solving • The capacity to see other points of view and to adjust your own • Ability to move on with daily life despite obstacles A Resilient attitude can be learned!

13. Who is Resilient? • Are some people just born resilient? Do some people just ‘have it’ while others do not?

15. Resilient Qualities • Emotional Regulation • Impulse Control • Causal Analysis • Realistic Optimism • Empathy • Attachment • Self-Efficacy • Belonging • Reaching Out • Language and Culture

17. Emotional Regulation The ability to express our emotions in ways that will help rather than hurt a situation Examples: • I am aware of strong emotions as they rise and I don’t get swept away by them. • I am able to take three deep breaths before reacting when I am angry or upset. • I am able to talk about my emotions and my physical reaction to them. • I am able to recognize when I am really frustrated or angry and find a productive way of managing it.

18. Impulse Control The ability to take action instead of have a reaction Examples: • I am able to use words to express my emotions. • I am able to be patient and to wait a little longer to get what I want without becoming overly frustrated or anxious. • I am able to come up with alternative solutions to a problem and not just do the first thing that comes into my head. • I am able to “let it go.”

19. Causal Analysis The ability to analyze a problem and accurately decide what the cause is Examples: • I am not making mountains out of molehills. • I feel clear and at least relatively calm about a situation, not confused and out of control. • I realize when I situation is temporary and affects only a specific part of my life and not my whole life. • I am able to turn “I never” into “I didn’t this time, but could next time.”

20. Realistic Optimism The ability to maintain hope for a bright future Examples: • I am patient with a negative situation and keep working at a solution. • I am able to see my successes even if I struggle or fail. • I am able to adjust my plans when circumstances outside of my control arise.

21. Empathy The ability to understand the feelings and needs of another person Examples: • I am able to understand the feelings and needs of someone else. • I am able to recognize the emotion someone else is experiencing based on the way they are communicating non-verbally. • I recognize that others are different from me and might see and feel things differently than I do. • I can look at things through another person’s eyes, not my own.

22. Self - Efficacy The feeling of being effective in the world, making a difference and having a positive impact Examples: • I use the choices I make and the actions I take to direct my life. • I feel as though I have what it takes to tackle problems and bounce back from them. • I rise up to challenges rather than shy away from them. • I believe that what I to day to day matter.

23. Attachment • Attachment develops between a child and his/her primary caregiver(s). • It begins in early infancy when a child relies on his/her primary caregiver to meet emotional and physical needs. • When those needs are consistently and positively met, the child feels safe and secure and develops a solid foundation for positive emotional and cognitive development. • A child with positive attachment experiences learns that the world is safe and they are valued. This leads to positive self-esteem and more successful inter-personal relationships. • Positive attachment can also help to promote healthy brain function and thought patters.

24. Belonging The feeling that we are a part of something larger than ourselves Examples: • My neighbour knows my name. • A stranger smiles at me on the street. • There are services in my community that represent me. • I feel welcome and accepted for just who I am. • My community lends a helping hand and recognizes when I may need one. • I have access to the things I need.

25. Reaching Out Being accurate and realistic about how much we can cope with and being able to ask for help when we need it Examples: • I am willing to take risks. • I continue trying even when I make mistakes. A mistake is not a failure. • I know myself and know how much I can handle and am not afraid of asking for help when I need it.

26. Language & Culture Having a connection to Language and Culture means: • Having a connection to your language and culture of choice. • For First Nations and Aboriginal Peoples, and in many other ethnic communities, being able to speak your traditional language and live according to cultural traditions is fundamental to resilience. Importance of Language and Culture: • It can be much harder for the other factors to take root without this basic ground. • For First Nations and Aboriginal Peoples resiliency includes healing from Residential School experiences (may be intergenerational) and reclaiming their language and culture. • Some languages contain a framework for ways of viewing self and the world that are quite different from English. • Culture of choice isn’t always culture of birth.

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28. Obstacles to Resiliency • Stressful events • Adversity -Trauma • Environment -Unhelpful early learning, current living situation is chaotic • Cognitive factors -Belief system, thinking habits

29. Stress and Adversity • Imagine for a moment the following scenario: • You are told you have 10 minutes to put together a role play in pairs where you must demonstrate three of the qualities just discussed. • You will also have to perform this role play in front and the group and it will be recorded for evaluation purposes.

30. What would some of your first thoughts be? • How many people would feel nervous or unsure about this task? How many people would feel angry? • Would you feel this stress anywhere in your body?

31. Stress and Adversity • Many of us believe that negative events cause us to act in certain ways. • When something bad happens, one of the first things we try to understand is why it happened. • Our beliefs about the cause of the adversity set off our reaction – how we feel and what we do.

32. Stress and Adversity • Dr. Albert Ellis created the ABC model to help us understand our reactions to adversity: • A is the adversity – the situation or event • B is our belief – our explanation about why the situation happened • C is the consequence – the feelings and behaviours caused by our belief

33. Stress and Adversity • Example 1: Natasha has been working really hard and saving up for a trip she wants to take with her family. Then she finds out that her hours are being cut back at work. Natasha thinks to herself, this always happens to me, I always work so hard and just have to start back at square one. I must not be doing a very good job at work. I am such a loser. My family will be so disappointed in me. She gets very sad, and spends a good amount of the money she’d been saving for her trip on toys for her kids and a new pair of shoes for herself.

34. Stress and Adversity • Example 2, a different reaction: That’s disappointing, but this actually wasn’t a surprise: at the staff meeting last week they mentioned there may be cut backs. I know it has nothing to do with my quality of work, I just haven’t been there as long as some of the others so I don’t have as much seniority. That’s probably why my hours were cut instead of some of the others. I will talk to my supervisor tomorrow and see if there is anything I can do to get more hours, maybe in another department. She decides to go home and do an activity with her family.

35. Explanatory Style • Thinking habits - preferred ways of explaining what is going on around us • Occur subconsciously • May be accurate or may be distorted • Can help or hinder our ability to respond resiliently to inevitable bumps in the road

36. Trying to Make Sense of Adversity… • Personalization – who caused the problem?Me/Not me • Permanence – how long will this problem last? Always/Not always • Pervasiveness – how much of my life does this problem affect? Everything/Not everything

37. Explanatory Style Example Natasha has been working really hard and saving up for a trip she wants to take with her family. Then she finds out that her hours are being cut back at work. Natasha thinks to herself, this always happens to me, I always work so hard and just have to start back at square one. I must not be doing a very good job at work. I am such a loser. My family will be so disappointed in me. She gets very sad, and spends a good amount of the money she’d been saving for her trip on toys for her kids and a new pair of shoes for herself.

38. Explanatory Style Thinking Habits Associated with Depression • “Me/Always/Everything” thinking • Loss of hope and depression

39. Explanatory Style Thinking Habits Associated with Aggression • “Not me/Always/Everything” thinking. • Blaming others when something bad happens. • Can make people feel trapped and angry, or cause them to lash out at others.

40. Explanatory Style Thinking Habits Associated with Optimism • “Not me/Not always/Not everything” thinking • Able to see the situation as temporary and that not all aspects of her life are affected. • May not be an accurate or realistic view of a situation.

42. Thinking Traps • Jumping to conclusions • Personalizing • Externalizing • Mind-reading • Emotional reasoning • Overgeneralizing • Magnifying/minimizing • Catastrophizing Which ones trap you?

45. Iceberg Beliefs • Deep beliefs about how the world should operate and how we should operate in the world. • Cause reactions that seem out of proportion to actual situations. • Start to form in childhood and are often passed down unconsciously, without question, from generation to generation.

46. Iceberg Beliefs Example I KNOW I shouldn’t have blown up at Anna that way, but I just couldn’t help it! I don’t even really know why I’m so mad at her. All I know is I’m STILL SO ANGRY that it’s hard for me to even look her in the eye. I feel guilty for treating her this way, because it really doesn’t seem fair. I am puzzled by my reaction, she was only a few minutes late and we still made the movie on time. So now what am I suppose to do? If I don’t even know why I’m so mad, how am I going to talk with her about it?

47. Can make us over-experience certain emotions • Can be at the root of personality clashes at school and in other environments • Don’t always have negative outcomes

48. Examples of Iceberg Beliefs “Giving people a chance to tell their side of the story is important” “Mistakes are part of the learning process”“Honesty is the best policy” “If you don’t succeed at first try again”

49. Examples of Iceberg Beliefs “I should be able to handle anything that comes my way.” “Women should never show their anger.” “People should always be on time.” “Things should always be fair.” “Men should never cry. It shows weakness.”

50. Common types of Iceberg Beliefs • Achievement – Mistakes are seen as failures. • Acceptance – It is vital to be liked, accepted, praised, and included by others. • Control – Having unrealistic expectations about the level of influence you have over yourself or the environment.