Cultures in Contrast --- Some Differences Between Americans and Chinese

1. Cultures in Contrast --- Some DifferencesBetween Americans and Chinese Robert Bolding Schilling Farms Middle School

2. General Remarks • An understanding of the differences between people from different cultures is of vital importance for harmonious relationships. • Our experience tells us that a rule which is passionately held to be correct today was equally and firmly frowned on at some other time or in some other place.

3. General Remarks • It is probably the different ways of thinking that lead the different people to the different understandings of a certain phenomenon in terms of culture.

4. Different Ways of Thinking • The comments on the pictures: • The blue picture indicates the way of thinking, “call a spade a spade”. • The red picture indicates the “implicit & mild” way in thinking.

5. Different Ways of Thinking • The “implicit & mild” way in thinking could be dated back to a literal works of art entitled “Zhong Yong” by Zi Si (Shen Kong, 483-402 BC), the grandson of Confucius, in Warring Times. • “Zhong Yong” refers to the Doctrine of Mean, or the Happy Medium, aiming at the promotion of mildness and moderation in thought and behavior. • Four intentions related: • A. not overworked while working, • B. not overjoyed while entertaining, • C. not too tough on others, • D. not too much luxury.

6. Example • Not too tough to others: • Chinese style: Even if a criticism is given to someone who makes a mistake, it would be put in a mild and roundabout way so that the person would accept it easily. • American style: If a criticism is given to someone who makes a mistake, it would be a direct one to the person, which makes him know his fault immediately.

7. Focuses • Therefore, we would restrict out perspectives to some aspects that might arouse the miscommunication and misunderstanding between the Americans and the Chinese. • Some aspects are related to: • Daily communication; • Hospitality; • Table manners; • Romance and sexuality; • Privacy; • Others.

8. Language Use for Greetings Meeting people is one of the daily activities. In the use of language, the different greetings between the people: In English: How do you do! Nice to meet you! How are you? Etc. Daily Communication

9. In Chinese: Xinghui, Xinghui! (Happy to meet you! Happy to meet you!) Chi fan le ma? (Have you had your meal?) Chi le mei you? (as above) The Chinese style of greeting would bring some puzzles to Americans. Language Use for Greetings

10. It may be difficult for Americans to believe that smiling for the Chinese not only means that someone is happy but sometimes also means that someone is sorry for the error he/she has committed. Interpreting a Smile

11. It is desirable for a Chinese to apologize with a smile, which indicates humbleness and embarrassment. A belief in “a smile can kill anger” could account for the phenomenon that the Chinese smiles when he/she wants to apologize. Interpreting a Smile

12. A Chinese teacher of language talked about a group of female international students in class and referred to them as “girls”. One of the female students (American) complained “why it was so.” Girl or Woman

13. Girl or Woman? • Chinese perspective: In China, “girl” means someone who is young and single. “Woman” refers to the female who is married and might not be young. It is insulting to call the young females “women” in China.

14. Girl or Woman? • The American perspective?

15. Compliments • Any compliment is welcome both in US and China, so long as it contains no hint of surprise or hidden criticism, and isn’t too intimate for the relationship.

16. Compliments • It isn’t easy to handle compliments. From time to time, compliments in one country are not those in another. (e.g. compliments about the beauty of a woman)

17. Misunderstanding of Compliments • (An American Teacher & a Chinese student are at a party) • Dear Lisa, you look very pretty tonight. • No, no…(shyness) • Yes, really beautiful. • No, I’m not!... (shyness grows stronger)

18. Making an Appointment? • Many Chinese sometimes would like to drop in their friends’ home without an appointment. It doesn’t mean that they are rude but indicates the close relationship between true friends. • Some people are overjoyed to have friends roll up uninvited; others regard unexpected visits as a violation of privacy.

19. Dropping in without any appointment would make Americans uncomfortable. Even a refusal could occur to the unexpected guest. Dropping In

20. Dropping in • In China, if someone drops in uninvited, it isn’t rude to say you’d love to see him but it’s not a good time. • However, a relation who drops in deserves more tolerance than a dropping-in neighbor.

21. Chinese hospitality --- overdone: As a very hospitable people, the Chinese attach a lot of importance to taking care of their guests. They would try to help their guests with almost everything and feel bad if a guest had any complaint. Hospitality --- Overdone or Underdone

22. Overdone hospitality • A family dinner party as an example: • 20 dishes of different kinds; • Pleasant to the eyes; • Delicious in taste; • Special in aroma.

23. Overdone hospitality • The host would say to the guest, “it is very sorry that we could not offer you as many as possible dishes because of a short notice of your visit. Please help yourself.” • This statement gave a surprise to the guest. • “There is so much food, why, how could we finish?”

24. Overdone hospitality • Moreover, the Chinese host would try his best to persuade the guests to eat more than they could. This would be a great show of the hospitality and the perfect respect to the guests.

25. American people also keep their hospitality towards their guests. At a family dinner party, an appropriate amount of food would be offered to the guest. (not as many kinds as the Chinese do, but quite enough to eat) Hospitality in US

26. Gift is only a symbol of person-to-person communication as well as a reminder for the past experience in terms of friendship. It is normal both in U.S. or in China that people like to offer gifts to their friends. A Gift to Friends

27. In China, sending a gift to a guest, sometimes, is a devotion to show one’s sincere thanks or best wishes to others. They would think hard and decide what to be sent. Usually the gift looks very special. A Gift to Friends

28. The Americans would be more practical in presenting a gift to their friends if necessary. It seems that they would concentrate more on the practice of friendship than on the offer of gift itself. A Gift to Friends

29. Table Manners • Chinese would invite their guests to their family for a family dinner party, especially when they have known each other very well. • To dine with the Chinese family would always be a happy event to the host/hostess and the guests, but sometimes some misunderstandings or confusions might be inevitable.

30. Table Arrangement Round Table: (Chinese) H G 2 1 Mostly the hostess of the family or the female members would not sit at the table with the guests. 4 3 6 5 8 7 (Door)

31. Table Arrangement Round Table: (International) Host 3 1 7 5 6 8 2 4 Hostess (Door)

32. Use of Chopsticks • Misuse of chopsticks: (some forbidden behaviors) • 1) Never erect the chopsticks in the bowl (It is a ritual for the respect of the dead), • 2) Never cross the chopsticks on the rim of the bowl, • 3) Don’t suck the chopsticks, • 4) Don’t move the chopsticks to point the others at the table, • 5) Don’t use the chopsticks as other tools.

33. Taking Noodles • Noodle soup is one of the every-day delicacies in China, especially in the Northern part of China. • However, the fact that the noodles are slurped means eating noodles from soup is a noisy affair. Such noise is taken for granted as part of the dining experience.

34. Noise from Noodles: 1) it is hard not to make noise while eating noodles; 2) noodles could be cooled by slurping in slowly; 3) it is an indication that people are enjoying the meal. Taking Noodles

35. It is nation-wide accepted that people in China use the chopsticks to eat noodles while the Americans use the fork. Taking Noodles

36. To show their hospitality to the guests, To make the guests feel welcomed, To create a harmonious atmosphere at the table, To feast their guests as much as possible. Notes: sips and bottoms-ups Drinking at Table

37. A love story between a Chinese young lady and an American young man. “What do you want to do?” “Where to go today?” “Up to you.” “Whatever you want to do.” “Wherever you want to go.” At last, love has lost. Romance and sexuality

38. Romance • Chinese perspective: • It is a desirable trait in China for one to think for others in a loving relationship, or even in partnership. • People sometimes tend to subordinate their own needs to others in order to show respect, or love, or politeness.

39. Romance • American perspective: • In the western cultures, couples who are truly in love typically share thoughts and opinions about almost all things all the time. • The lack of opinion about what she and he might do could be a sign one was losing interest in the other. It may mean that one no longer loves the other.

40. The responses to the expression “I love you” are different. An American man would directly say “I love you” to the lady he loves. A Chinese man would say something in a roundabout way to express his idea. Directly or Indirectly Showing Your Love

41. A Dream of Butterfly • A typical love affair in ancient China about saying “I Love You” directly or indirectly. • The major characters: Shanbo Liang (m) and Yingtai Zhu (f).

42. A Dream of Butterfly

43. Different Sense of Beauty The picture below just indicates the different angles between the Chinese and the westerners in appreciation of the beauty of human body.

44. Privacy • Privacy seems to be the priority in US and in China people have been more and more aware of privacy since Deng Xiaoping’s open-door policy. But it still needs much improvement.

45. Queuing Queuing in public could tell exactly the difference between Chinese and American cultures. The Americans would like to keep a distance in between, but the Chinese would like to stand as closely as possible while queuing.

46. Other Differences The sense of punctuation is one aspect that tells the different attitudes. The blue picture indicates the time most western people keep, while the red picture indicates the attitude of the most Chinese towards the time.

47. Showering in day or at night? True or not? It is controversial.

48. Leadership Different concepts in leadership between the Americans and the Chinese.

49. The End Thanks a Lot!