Raising Resilient Children

1. Raising Resilient Children Conducted by [Practitioner Name]

2. Today’s Agenda • Overview of Triple P • Highlights from Seminars 1 & 2 • Emotional resilience in children • Building blocks for success • Take home messages • Question time

3. Overview of Triple P • Triple P = Positive Parenting Program • Developed in Australia • 30 years of research • Used in 22 countries • Local program sponsored by First 5 Santa Cruz County

4. Triple P Services • Seminars: General parenting information • The Power of Positive Parenting • Raising Confident, Competent Children • Raising Resilient Children • Workshops: Brief help with specific and common parenting issues • Groups: Brief (4 sessions) or In-depth (8 sessions) • One on One Consultations : Brief (1-4 sessions) or In-depth (10 sessions) • Additional Triple P Support

5. Seminar 1: 5 Principles • Creating a safe, interesting environment • Having a positive learning environment • Using assertive discipline • Having realistic expectations • Taking care of yourself

6. Seminar 2: Building blocks Raising confident, competent children

7. Emotional resilience • Emotional resilience is the ability to: • recognize and accept feelings • express feelings in appropriate ways • face and resolve difficult situations • cope with stressful or upsetting situations • These abilities are related to children’s development

8. Importance of resilience • Children need to learn to cope with everyday feelings and difficult situations • Some children experience very stressful life events • Ability to cope with feelings is related to • social skills and relationships • tolerance and compassion • coping with life experiences • prevention of emotional problems

9. Benefits for children Emotionally resilient children are: • caring and socially skilled • empathic and sensitive • able to manage their feelings • able to cope with stress or unpleasant experiences • less likely to resort to unhelpful ways of coping

10. Building blocks

11. Building block 1 Recognizing and accepting feelings

12. Developmental changes • Children gradually: • learn to recognize and understand their emotions and those of others • become aware of different feelings • learn the words to describe their feelings • develop more complex feelings • These changes are related to their language, thinking andexperiences

13. What parents can do • Accept that ups and downs are normal • Talk about feelings • Be emotionally expressive • Share feelings appropriately • Help your child recognize and name emotions • Encourage your child to be emotionally expressive

14. Building block 2 Expressing feelings appropriately

15. Expressing emotions • What emotional expression is OK • words • expressions • actions • When to express feelings • to whom • how often • how much • What emotional expression is not OK • Family and cultural expectations

16. Traps for parents • Talking too much about own feelings • Dwelling on upsets • Showing too much interest in feelings • Being overly sympathetic or encouraging avoidance • Over-reacting to minor upsetting events • Not giving enough attention toother behavior

17. Talking about feelings • Ask how your child feels • Listen to what they say • Summarize what they say • Avoid telling your child how they should feel • Read stories and talk about the characters’ feelings • Help your child recognize feelings in others

18. Encouraging children • Give your child positive attention for expressing feelings in appropriate ways • positive feelings • negative feelings • Congratulate your child for managing difficult situations

19. Dealing with problems • Use consistent discipline • tell your child to stop • acknowledge their feelings • give a brief explanation • tell your child what to do instead • use back up consequences if needed • Model better ways of expressing feelings

20. Building block 3 Building a positive outlook

21. A positive outlook Having a positive outlook can involve: • optimistic thinking • curiosity and exploration • contentment

22. Encouraging optimism • Model being optimistic • Encourage goals • Encourage initiative and creativity • Encourage activities where your child will experience success • Show how your child has control over events • Point out what your child does well • Talk about the ‘good side’

23. Encouraging curiosity • Encourage your child to decide what to do • Let your child explore and show your interest • Be available when your child wants to show you something • Ask questions and make comments • Help your child learn how to find more information

24. Encouraging contentment • Model being appreciative and grateful • Ask about the day’s highlights • Have shared family experiences • Discuss other people’s point of view • Discuss accepting things that can’t be changed • Foster involvement in meaningful activities • Encourage your child to slow downand take in their world

25. Building block 4 Developing coping skills

26. Coping skills • Problem solving • Positive self-talk • Talking back to unhelpful thoughts • Relaxing mentally and physically • Asking for help and support

27. Helping problem solving • Set a good example • Play games that promote thinking • Encourage your child to find answers • Prompt your child to work at solving problems • Congratulate your child when they solve a problem on their own • Involve your child in family problem solving

28. Problem solving steps • Define the problem • Come up with solutions • Evaluate the options • Decide on the best solution • Put the plan into action • Review how it worked and revise the plan if necessary

29. Building positive self-talk • Ask your child to evaluate their own achievements • Explain how thinking different ways affects how you feel • Prompt your child to think about what others might think or feel • Point out helpful and unhelpful thinking • Model using positive self-talk tocope with stress

30. Helping children relax • Provide a good model of how to manage stress • Help children find ways to relax that work for them • Relaxation strategies include: • taking slow, deep breaths • relaxing their muscles • listening to a relaxation tape or calming music

31. Looking for support • Discuss how everyone needs to talk • Talk about how you get support from others • Help children find someone to talk to: • a close family member • a trusted friend • a school teacher • a counsellor

32. Building block 5 Dealing with negative feelings

33. Negative emotions • All children have negative emotions • Parents cannot completely protect children from these feelings • Many emotions pass quickly • Parents can calmly assist and prompt problem solving • Parents can help children learn toresolve negative feelings on their own

34. Managing emotions • Notice when your child is upset • Ask what is wrong and listen • Summarize what you have heard • Acknowledge their feelings • Ask what they want to do • Ask how you can help • Prompt problem solving • If upset continues, suggest ‘cooling off’ • Stay calm yourself • Make a time to talk later

35. Preparing for emotions Help your child learn to cope on their own, for example, with anxiety • Set a good example • Talk about anxious feelings • Teach your child coping strategies • Encourage facing fears gradually • Stay calm • Prompt coping strategies • Praise your child’s efforts • Talk about dangerous situations

36. Building block 6 Dealing with stressful events

37. Stressful life events • Change • Problems with peers • Major disappointment • Unpleasant experiences • Loss • Marital separation or divorce • Joining a new family • Trauma or serious illness • Natural disasters • Terrifying experiences

38. Coping with life events • Allow your child to be upset • Ask what happened • Say something positive • Reassure your child where appropriate • Don’t feel you have to solve the problem • Suggest something to cheer your child up • Check later • Encourage use of coping skills • Seek advice if the problemcontinues

39. Example: moving house • Explain why the move is necessary • Familiarize your child with the new situation • Talk about the advantages • Get your child involved • Maintain routines as much as possible • Help your child keep in touch with friends

40. Example: dealing with loss • Consider your child’s developmental level • Reassure your child where appropriate • Encourage appropriate expression of feelings • Provide information • Maintain routines as much as possible • Arrange a child carer if the loss affects you • Talk about feelings, coping, memories

41. Take home messages

42. Take home messages • The foundations for emotional resilience are laid in early childhood • Emotional skills are important for happiness, wellbeing and success in life • Children learn a lot about managing their emotions from parents

43. Take home messages Parents can help children learn to: • recognize and accept feelings • express feelings in appropriate ways • develop a positive outlook and coping skills • deal with negative feelings and stressful life events

44. Tip Sheet • Review it with your partner or by yourself. • Review it this week! • Choose one strategy you learned today to try at home.

45. Next Steps • Attend the next seminar [insert date] • Contact [insert name] for more services [insert info] • Contact First 5 Santa Cruz County for more services (831) 465-2217 or sbluford@first5scc.org or visit www.first5scc.org

46. Stay Connected “Like” us on Facebook! www.facebook.com/triplepscc

47. Question time

48. Positive Parenting… Small changes, Big differences