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Saying “I am Sorry”!!

Saying “I am Sorry”!!. Why do I need to (have to) say sorry?. In a perfect world, there would never be any reason for apologies. People would always get along and never say or do anything hurtful. Because the world is imperfect we can not survive without saying Sorry

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Saying “I am Sorry”!!

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  1. Saying “I am Sorry”!!

  2. Why do I need to (have to) say sorry? • In a perfect world, there would never be any reason for apologies. People would always get along and never say or do anything hurtful. • Because the world is imperfect we can not survive without saying Sorry • Failing to apologize is the root of many marriage conflicts • Apology, Forgiveness and Reconciliation are main characters of a healthy relationship

  3. Biblical Background • Mt. 6:14&15 • 14 فانه ان غفرتم للناس زلاتهم يغفر لكم ايضا ابوكم السماوي. 15 وان لم تغفروا للناس زلاتهم لا يغفر لكم ابوكم ايضا زلاتكمDo I have to give an apology for the other person to forgive me? • What is the importance of saying sorry since the other person is going to forgive anyways??

  4. Biblical Background • Eph. 4:32 • 32 وكونوا لطفاء بعضكم نحو بعض شفوقين متسامحين كما سامحكم الله ايضا في المسيح • How does God forgive us?? • 1Jn 1:9 • 9 ان اعترفنا بخطايانا فهو امين وعادل حتى يغفر لنا خطايانا ويطهرنا من كل اثم. 10 ان قلنا اننا لم نخطئ نجعله كاذبا وكلمته ليست فينا

  5. Facts about Apology • For an apology to be accepted by the other person it has to be genuine and convey your sincerity • Expressing regret shows the offended person that you feel his/her hurt and are really sorry for being a cause to such pain.

  6. Facts about Apology • Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do that caused hurt to the other person • Without an expression of regret, the offended will not be satisfied with your apology neither be willing to reconcile

  7. Is it enough to say I am sorry?

  8. ABC Marriageا ب زواج

  9. Cheerfulness البشــاشــة

  10. Is it enough to say I am sorry?

  11. How do I say sorry? • Robert and Mary are married for 5 years, last Monday, being too busy at work, Robert forgot his promise to meet her at a restaurant to have a dinner outside • She went to the restaurant but he did not show up • He called her in his way home and said (I’m sorry) but it was not good enough for her to her to forgive him • What was wrong with his apology?

  12. How do I say sorry? • For an apology to be effective it needs to be more specific, it is good that you are sorry, but SORRY FOR WHAT?? • It is important to mention the reason for being sorry: • “I am sorry that you had to go to the restaurant and wait for me” • “I can imagine how upset I will be if I am in your situation” • “I know that you were also concerned about my wellbeing”

  13. “I’m sorry” should be followed by what you are sorry for

  14. How do I say sorry? • Angela went on a shopping trip to the states on Saturday leaving her 2 sons 6&3 years old for John her husband to take care of • Instead of coming home at 5pm as planned the trip was extended to 10pm • When she came home, John was quite frustrated, he gave no response to her “sorry” • Being too tired of the trip she went back to him screaming “I said I’m sorry OK” • What was wrong about her apology??

  15. How do I say sorry? • When apology is expressed in a wrong body language it loses its effect • Soft voice, Eye contact, and bowed head could show the offended that you feel really bad and your apology is genuine

  16. “I’m sorry” should be expressed in a right body language

  17. How do I say sorry? • While visiting their friends last weekend, Bob said some negative comments on the way his wife Cathy dresses • Realizing that he hurt her feelings, he tried to apologize to her in their way home: • “Sorry Cathy, but what the way you dressed today was really strange” • Cathy is even more upset of his apology, Why??

  18. How do I say sorry? • Trying to put excuses voids (cancels out) your apology. • Shifting the blame to the offended person turns your apology to an attack that will never gain a forgiveness. • Genuine regret needs to stand alone, avoid linking it to a good excuse or a blame to the offended person.

  19. “I’m sorry” should not be followed by “but”

  20. How do I say sorry? • After attending a session on reality discipline, Lydia decided to say sorry every time she shouts at her 12 years old girl • The next morning she tried to wake her daughter up to go to school on time. The girl refused as she used to, and Lydia started screaming. • “I am willing to say sorry to you if you first say sorry that you did not wake up on time” • How do you like Lydia’s approach?

  21. How do I say sorry? • When expressing regret do not expect anything in return • Remind yourself “I am providing an apology for a mistake I have done. I should not expect the offended person to apologize for what I did wrong”

  22. “I’m sorry” should not be conditioned

  23. Saying “I am sorry” • “I’m sorry” should be followed by what you are sorry for • “I’m sorry” should be expressed in a right body language • “I’m sorry” should not be followed by “but” • “I’m sorry” should not be conditioned

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