Active Listening

1. Active Listening Phoenix Division SA Steven G. Palmer 201 E. Indianola Avenue Phoenix, Arizona 602-650-3294

2. LISTENING & COMMUNICATION

3. “I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

4. Hearing vs. Listening • ‘HEARING’:One of the five basic senses • Can you hear and not listen? Try and talk to a kid watching cartoons! • ‘LISTENING’:To hear and consider with thoughtful attention. • An active process requiring attention to the speaker communicating.

5. Average Speech Pace: 125 WPM Average Listening Pace: 400-500 WPM Hearing vs. Listening

6. The Gap275 WPM Average Speech Pace: 125 WPM Average Listening Pace: 400-500 WPM

7. OBSTACLES TO LISTENING

8. Obstacles to Listening • EnvironmentalFactors • Distractions • Level of Investment • Ignoring Non-Verbal Cues • Listening only for facts • Preparing to ask the next question.

9. Obstacles to Listening (cont.) • Note-taking • Your partner • Time • Fatigue, hunger, personal obligations. • Pre-conceived ideas or assumptions.

10. The Purpose of Active Listening Lower Emotions Establish Rapport Gather Information Encourage Conversation Active listening is a skill set designed to work toward each of these goals at the same time

11. Active Listening • Open Ended Statements and Questions • Minimal Encouragers • Paraphrasing • Reflecting/Mirroring • Emotion Labeling • Summarization • Effective Pauses • “I” Messages

12. 1. Open Ended Statements and Questions Statements or questions that can not be answered: “Yes or No” “Tell me what happened.” “What did you see?” “Give me the Reader’s Digest version of what happened.”

13. 2. Minimal Encouragers Brief responses that indicate your presence and that you are listening • Verbal – “Uh-huh”, “Yea” • Nonverbal – Head nod, silent pause

14. 3. Paraphrasing Put meaning into your own words • Restatement • Giving the meaning in another form. Interviewee - “I kept trying and trying and I couldn’t get them to listen.” Interviewer - “It was frustrating that they wouldn’t listen.”

15. 4. Reflecting/Mirroring Repeating the last few words • “Parroting” • Follow Alongs Interviewee - “It was late at night.” Interviewer - “Late at night.”

16. 5. Emotion Labeling A statement of emotions heard “You sound angry.” “You sound concerned.” “You seem upset.”

17. 6. Summarization A periodic review, covering the main points of the story and the feelings in your words. “What you’ve told me so far is…” “Let me make sure I’ve got this right.”

18. 7. Effective Pauses Use before or after saying something important • Allows time to focus • Sets your comments apart • People hate silence and will “fill” the gap.

20. 8. “I” Messages First person statements that help interviewers address unproductive dialogue or behavior • Non-accusatory • Personalize without placing blame “I’m confused by your comments.” “Perhaps I missed something.”

21. Active Listening • Open Ended Statements and Questions • Minimal Encouragers • Paraphrasing • Reflecting/Mirroring • Emotion Labeling • Summarization • Effective Pauses • “I” Messages