Gay Male Christian Couples & Sexual Exclusivity Yip

1. Gay Male Christian Couples & Sexual ExclusivityYip Part VIII Chapter 44

2. Discussion of feelings of satisfaction gay couples have with each other • Contrasts the commitment and expectations that compare/contrast homosexual & heterosexual relationships • Describes how some couples maintain commitment in the face of sexual non-exclusivity by being discreet, while others stay together for opposite reason: a searing commitment to honesty Part 8: Ch. 44

3. A. Research on Gay Couples • Sexual exclusivity is one of the most researched areas in studies of gay male couples – one of five most prominent themes • In a gay couple, it’s one of major issues partners grapple with • Kurdek (1991) reported that sexual non-exclusivity is ranked 3rd closely behind “partner’s non-responsiveness & “partner’s personal problems” • Research suggests that majority of gay male partnerships are sexually non-exclusive Part 8: Ch. 44

4. B. Sexual Exclusivity • Most researchers define it in terms of behavior of partners • A partnership exclusive of both partners don’t have sexual encounters with others • Some researchers define it in terms of expectation where sexual exclusivity is acknowledged by both partners (Hickson, 1991) • Author supports Hickson’s argument that a partnership can be exceptionally exclusive but behaviorally non-exclusive Part 8: Ch. 44

5. Unlike heterosexual couples who share a general cultural ideal of sexual exclusivity & disapproval of non-exclusivity, gay male couples don’t have such a cultural assumption • Thus they have to resort to actively negotiating the arrangement of their partnership • Most might use a trial-and-error approach to construct relationship rules due to lack of structural & cultural guidelines Part 8: Ch. 44

6. I. The Study Part 8: Ch. 44

7. A. Methods / Data Analysis • Semi-structured interviews with 30 gay male Christian couples in Britain (N = 30) • Ages 20s to 70s, mean duration of partnerships 12 years & 3 months • Recruited primarily through personal contacts & three national gay Christian organizations • Lesbian & Gay Christian Movement (LGCM) • QUEST (lesbian & gay Catholics organization) • Anglican Clergy Consultation (ACC) • Fieldwork was carried out between June & September 1993 Part 8: Ch. 44

8. II. Typology of Couples Part 8: Ch. 44

9. A. Categorization • Typology takes into consideration both expectation & behavior throughout duration of partnerships • Category A: Expect partnership to be sexually exclusive & are behaviorally (n = 9) • Category B: Expect partnership to be sexually exclusive but behaviorally non-exclusive (n =8) • Category C: Expect partnership to be sexually non-exclusive & are behaviorally (n = 13) • Category D: Expect partnership to be sexually non-exclusive but are behaviorally exclusive (n = 0) Part 8: Ch. 44

10. Typology reveals contradictory scenario to Blasband &Peplau’s (1985) argument that this is consistency between partners’ agreements about sexual exclusivity & their actual behavior Part 8: Ch. 44

11. B. Category A • Research suggests that gay male couples tend to demonstrate trend towards sexual non-exclusivity over time (McWhirter & Mattison, 1984; Davies et al., 1993; Harry & DeVall, 1978) • Findings of current study don’t confirm this • Six partnerships longer than 5 years • Longest: 27 years • Shortest: 1 year • Mean: 9 years & 5 months Part 8: Ch. 44

12. B. Category A • Reasons for sexual exclusivity: • (1) Sexual exclusivity considered symbol of total commitment • (2) Sexual exclusivity perceived as symbol of complete mutual satisfaction • (3) For some, explicit attribution of their belief in sexual exclusivity to conventional Christian sexual ethics for intimate relationships Part 8: Ch. 44

13. C. Category B • Couples began partnerships with expectation of exclusivity, but either one or both partners violated expectation at certain point during partnership • Non-exclusivity became feature of these couples within six months to two years • Reasons for sexual non-exclusivity: • (1) Natural progression • (2) Dissatisfaction with aspects of partnership • (3) Desire for sexual experimentation Part 8: Ch. 44

14. D. Regulatory Mechanisms • Four mechanisms developed to manage their non-exclusive lifestyles: • (1) Establishment of explicit ground rules • (2) Concealment of information outside sexual encounters • (3) Disclosure of information about outside sexual encounters • (4) Prevention of casual sexual encounters from developing into ongoing affairs Part 8: Ch. 44

15. E. Category C • Partnerships began with expectation of non-exclusivity, behaviorally as well • Three reasons cited: • (1) Search for sexual variety & excitement as main reason • (2) Related to absence of normative guidelines for same-sex partnerships • (3) Egalitarianism – prevent interpartner possessiveness Part 8: Ch. 44

16. F. Rejection of Conventional Christian Sexual Ethics • Stems from perception of lack of recognition from institutionalized Church & its silence on sexual ethics for gay Christian partnerships • Results in distancing of many respondents from the Church & its official stance on homosexuality Part 8: Ch. 44

17. III. Sexual Exclusivity, Relationship Satisfaction & Commitment Part 8: Ch. 44

18. A. Summary • Research evidence suggests there’s no significant difference between sexually exclusive & non-exclusive couples in terms of relationship satisfaction, adjustment & commitment (Peplau, 1981; Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Blesband & Peplau, 1985; Kurdek & Schmitt, 1986; and Kudek, 1988) Part 8: Ch. 44

19. Review Questions • What distinguishes homosexual couples and heterosexual ones in the context of sexual exclusivity? Part 8: Ch. 44

20. Pimp-Controlled ProstitutionWilliamson & Cluse-Tolar Part VIII Chapter 45

21. Focuses on the mechanisms employed by pimps to lure women into prostitution, and eventually, into obligatory relationships that support his flashy lifestyle • Pimp – one who controls actions & lives off proceeds or one or more women who work the streets. They call themselves: • “Players” – pimps • “The game” – their profession • “The life” – context of subculture Part 8: Ch. 45

22. In the 1960s & 1970s, social scientists devoted much time & research on exposing & understanding pimp-controlled prostitution within street-level prostitution, which entails sexual acts for money or barter that occurs on & off streets & include sexual activities: • In cars & motels • As dancers in gentlemen’s clubs • Massage parlors work • Truck stops • Crack house work Part 8: Ch. 45

23. I. The Study Part 8: Ch. 45

24. A. Methods • Examines pimp-related violence toward women involved in street-level prostitution within context of pimp-controlled prostitution • Data obtained from larger study including both independent & pimp-controlled women • Snowball, purposive sampling (n = 21) • Six had pimps • Criteria for inclusion • 18 years or older (18 to 28 years) • No longer prostituting (Avg. 4 to 8 years) Part 8: Ch. 45

25. II. Findings Part 8: Ch. 45

26. A. Pimping: Rules of the Game • Pimps, players and macks are those at top of pimping game • To these men in power, it’s a game where they control & manipulate actions of subordinate others • Pimping game requires strict adherence to rules • To “have” game implies that pimps have certain amount of charisma & smooth-talking, persuasive conversation toward women Part 8: Ch. 45

27. Paramount rule – the pimp must get paid • Another rule – game is “sold and not told” • Pimps expected to sell prostitution to women without revealing his entire game plan • This is done via persuasive conversations • Final rule – pimp must have woman or women that want to see him on top • Macks: most well-respected pimps • Players: average stable of women, well-respected & make good living • Tennis shoe pimps: one or two prostitutes on street Part 8: Ch. 45

28. B. Turning a Woman Out • For a pimp, gaining a woman’s attention means looking good, smelling nice, flashing possessions & presenting himself as someone who can counter boredom with adventure & excitement • Must also be skilled at assessing a woman’s needs & vulnerabilities • Exploiting these vulnerabilities & fulfilling unmet needs enable him to prostitute her • For some, a pimp offers hope for future & opportunity to be financially successful Part 8: Ch. 45

29. Women in this study who were involved with a pimp typically didn’t engage in drug abuse • Pimps realize crack is competition & frown upon any drug use from their stable • Two women involved with tennis show pimps indulged in drug use along with their pimp • Pimp-controlled women were told they were beautiful & that men wanted them • Pimps didn’t guarantee emotional & financial security, but potential for these things inspired women Part 8: Ch. 45

30. Thoroughbreds:women who learn the game & become proficient in playing • They are professionals in prostitution & responsible for maintaining market rates • Able to handle customers, command money & conduct business effectively to maximize profits Part 8: Ch. 45

31. C. Free Enterprise & Choosing Up • Pimps keen on marketing product & investing in it in order for maximum profits • Thus courting or “honeymoon” period between pimps & prostitutes • A time when pimp “runs his game” • Can last one day to several months • Women can be enticed away from another pimp – viewed as component of free enterprise • This can be done without retaliation from another pimp Part 8: Ch. 45

32. D. Pimp & Prostitute Relationship in the Game • Each woman in study had a pimp who set rules, controlled her actions & took her earnings • Most reported being infatuated with their pimp • The more corporate the pimp, the less likely women described feelings as love or defining interaction as a relationship • With tennis shoe pimps, for example, women more likely to describe interactions as relationship Part 8: Ch. 45

33. Wife-in-law: prostituted women in a pimp’s family that work for his benefit • May be responsible for ongoing training of recent inductees • Some women didn’t tolerate this & moved on • Others welcomed the prestige of being with a successful pimp & willingly took on challenge & responsibilities as a prostituted woman under his direction • Bottom bitch: number one lady in pimp family who might be required to work but only use her hands and/or mouth, saving intercourse for pimp Part 8: Ch. 45

34. True talents of a pimp • Keeping his women happy • Commanding money • Portray deep, mysterious & somewhat mean demeanor about him • Conveys message that he is not to be crossed, which gives him title of being “cold-blooded” or “icy” • Pimp’s approach is never to cow down to his woman at any time • Can’t let love cloud his judgment concerning business Part 8: Ch. 45

35. E. Pimp-Related Violence: Physical Control of Women • Extent to which women felt threatened by pimp in part function of her evaluation of likelihood of pimp’s violence • This threat realized by all women in study • Pimp violence unpredictable & took many forms • Most revealing – immediate attack • Leaving “ho stroll” or designated work area early without making daily quota one violation resulting in violence Part 8: Ch. 45

36. F. Pimp-Related Violence: Emotional Control of Women • Pimp’s success dependent on arousing love & fear in women • Relationships require level of trust & degree of vulnerability Part 8: Ch. 45

37. G. Leaving Pimp-Controlled Prostitution • Many factors prevent women from pursuing legal assistance • Often fear, intimidation • Love for pimp despite abuses • Buying into pimping game & blame herself for violating • Reluctance to report due to prior experience of inaction on part of law enforcement when it came to “customer” complaints • Women who do leave are escaping Part 8: Ch. 45

38. Review Questions • Why do women remain with pimps that, most often times, treat them harshly? What is the appeal? • To what extent does pimping resemble any other capitalist, free enterprise? Part 8: Ch. 45