Deep in the Trenches,

1. Deep in the Trenches, Stuck in a rut.

2. Emotional Bankruptcy Common state of being for school personnel these days.

3. Not enough drops in the bucket! • Budget cuts • Lack of material resources • Lack of human resource • Asked to do more with less • ESEA waiver • Common Core Standards • Evaluation tied to student progress

4. What to do about it? • Run and hide????? Roll over and play dead???? Run and Hide? Roll over and Play Dead?

5. Just ignore it and hope it goes away?

6. Or deal with it before it blows up in your face?

7. So Let’s Begin, How do you deal with difficult people? Generally, difficult people will fall into one or more of these categories: Hostile/Aggressive types Know it all Snipers Complainers Quiet type Yes, people Negaholic

8. Hostile and Aggressive Types Characteristics Bullies and loudmouths Intimidation Territorial Dealing: Stand up to them Assert yourself Redirect Smile

9. Know it All Characteristics: I am better than you. I know more, just ask me. I am an expert. Dealing: Patience Redirect/include others Self confidence

10. Snipers Characteristics: Sarcasm Innuendo Back stabbing Covert Dealing: Overt-get it out in the open Confront-don’t let them get away with it. FACE to FACE Be open and honest.

11. Complainers Characteristics: Whine Avoid responsibility Martyr syndrome Blame others Tends to cycle Dealing: Break the cycle Don’t agree it only makes them worse Interrupt if necessary and take control. Listen, what are they really trying to tell you.

12. Silent type Characteristics: Avoid risk at all costs Non-committal Seek safety by refusing to respond May respond with “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” Dealing: Ask open ended questions Allow pointed silence State what you are willing to do. Tell them if they are not going to respond then you take that as an affirmative for what you want to do.

13. Agreeable—Yes, yes, yes Characteristics: Always agreeable even when they don’t have all the facts May be seen as “brown-nosing” People pleaser Over-promises and never delivers Avoids conflicts Dealing: Ask for opinions Make honesty non-threatening Don’t allow them to over commit Check progress

14. Negaholic Characteristics: Often they have been deeply disappointed in life May not trust Pessimist Lost locus of control Dealing: Don’t let them get to you. Be careful it doesn’t become contagious Give them success Build trust

15. How to Cope Don't take difficult people's behavior personally. Their behavior is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact. Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur. Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more. Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior.

16. If you don't observe them, do irritating people disappear? matter is actually 99.9999....% empty space observation affects reality. if you let someone irritate you, or you let one thought dominate your mind. You continue to carry something that should have been set down a long time ago. And of course the frustration you carry around, the difficult person probably isn't thinking twice about. Why should you be the person suffering?

17. So what does this have to do with Special Ed! You are the Peacemaker. We are all in this together. IEP at a glance LRE In-class vs. direct service Difference between accommodations and modifications.

18. People react in different ways when they find out a student in their class needs accommodations ...

19. Different Terms Same Thing • Differentiated Instruction • Terminology from general education. • Accommodations • Terminology from special education.

20. Productivity How do I get things done when I have to deal with difficult people and situations?

21. Getting along with others • Be Friendly • Have a little or lot of patience • Listen • Don’t gossip • Be respectful • Model

22. 1. Know your customer • Personalize

23. 2. Have a marketing plan Have plan A, but always have plan B, C, or D if needed.

24. 3. Differentiate: Personable, innovative, creative. Have a sense of humor

25. 4. Solve problems: negotiate, compromise, win-win.

26. 5. Educate: Use your expertise.

27. 6. Embrace Rejection • Things do not always go the way you want them to.

28. 7. Maintain integrity: Ethical decisions; honesty

29. So on those days when you feel you are being sucked into a black hole

30. Get a Grip! Try one or more of these stress relievers Exercise Quiet thoughts Laugh Reach out to others Learn to say no-don’t overburden yourself. Breathe Get a good nights sleep Journal Get musical Seek counsel

31. Remember you are not Superman!

32. Its all in your attitude! What does it take to make it in the educational workplace?

33. Be positive Optimistic Find the Good things in life

34. Be Patient Don’t get harried or hurried.

35. Be an Individual You are not just “one of the crowd” Stand out and be proud of it.

36. Be Adaptable Just know that as soon as you get your schedule made some one is going to want to change it. And guess who will have to be flexible???? May not have planned it this way but work with what you have.

37. Be Courageous Courage is not about having no fears, but the ability to overcome fears and do what you need to do. Be confident

38. Collaborate Work together Talk, talk, talk Even when you don’t want to. Do it FACE to FACE

39. Explore Explore new ideas Try new things Don’t be afraid of trial and error.

40. “If we know exactly where we're going, exactly how to get there, and exactly what we'll see along the way, we won't learn anything. ” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

41. “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled