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Jump Start Your Year as a Leader Facilitator: M.J. Clark, APR, M.A. Leadership Consultant

Jump Start Your Year as a Leader Facilitator: M.J. Clark, APR, M.A. Leadership Consultant. Followers focus here. Leaders focus here. A. C. D. B. Outer world. Inner world. Outer world. Leaders integrate thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

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Jump Start Your Year as a Leader Facilitator: M.J. Clark, APR, M.A. Leadership Consultant

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  1. Jump Start Your Year as a Leader Facilitator: M.J. Clark, APR, M.A. Leadership Consultant

  2. Followers focus here. Leaders focus here. A C D B Outer world Inner world Outer world Leaders integrate thoughts, emotions and behaviors Activating event Belief Systems Consequent Emotions Dependent Behavior

  3. Getting the Stress out of your Relationships: Assertiveness • To be centered and calm as a leader, we must manage the stress in our relationships. • This means we must master assertive behavior.

  4. The Assertiveness Continuum

  5. The How-To of Assertiveness “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” - Eleanor Roosevelt • What to do: 1) Describe the behavior 2) Explain how it makes you feel 3) Explain the changes you would like him/her to make • Do not: • Sound accusatory • Label the person’s behavior as wrong • Call the person names • Lose your cool • Do: • Be gentle. Try not to make the person defensive. • Listen, but stay focused.

  6. Keeping Others Accountable • Be specific regarding end results, time frames, and expected levels of effort. • Get a commitment and put it in writing. • Emphasize the urgency and importance of the assignment. • Tell others about the person’s commitment. • Agree on a plan for monitoring the person’s work and stick to it. • Always acknowledge good performance.

  7. Criticism vs. Constructive Feedback CriticismConstructive Feedback Past orientation Future orientation Personal focus Behavior focus Negative tone Positive tone Expresses frustration Expresses confidence Problem-oriented Solution-oriented This idea was developed by Senn-Delaney Leadership.

  8. Conflict Can Be Positive Conflict: Helps to raise and address problems. Focuses work on the most appropriate issues. Helps people “be real,” for example, it motivates them to participate. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences. Note: The conflict isn’t the problem; it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.

  9. Conflict Can Become a Problem Conflict is a problem when it: Hampers productivity. Lowers morale. Causes more and continued conflicts. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

  10. Strategies for reducing conflict and mediating confrontations: Always listen during conflict – how do we effectively listen? Don’t think of issues as win-lose – find common ground that moves everyone forward. If you usually avoid conflict, practice assertive conversations (3-step process on page 5). If your (or their) emotions are hijacking the process, take a time-out.

  11. After each conflict, think about what you would have done differently. Use role models in your thinking – what would (insert name) do in this situation? Stick to the issues – no personal attacks. Encourage the other person to share their views openly – don’t dominate the conversation. (Tell me more…) Strategies for reducing conflict and mediating confrontations:

  12. A book passage for your consideration… Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal. In terms of managing our career, there may be nothing more essential than recognizing our deepest feelings about what we do—and what changes might make us more truly satisfied. The single most important factor in maximizing the excellence of a group’s product is the degree to which the members are able to create a state of internal harmony.From Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

  13. Please contact me if you think I can be of help. M.J. Clark, M.A., APR Leadership Consultant Integrated Leadership Systems 614/214-7062 (cell) mj@integratedleader.com www.integratedleader.com Twitter: @mjclark or @ILSleader LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mjclark22

  14. Suggested Reading: “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee“Drive” by Daniel H. Pink “The Leadership Challenge” by James Kouzes and Barry Posner“Brain Rules” by John Medina“Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman “Habits: Why You Do What You Do” by John Nicholson“The Evolving Self” by Robert Kegan, Ph.D.“Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey“The Path of Least Resistance” by Robert Fritz“A Whole New Mind” by Daniel H. Pink “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

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