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Bellwork:. What are the five senses that contribute to sensory details? Label each of these sentences with the appropriate sense: The sudden flash of white light blinded me. The aroma of fresh baked cookies softly tickled my nose. I shivered, the frosty air stinging my lungs.

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Bellwork
Bellwork:

  • What are the five senses that contribute to sensory details?

  • Label each of these sentences with the appropriate sense:

    • The sudden flash of white light blinded me.

    • The aroma of fresh baked cookies softly tickled my nose.

    • I shivered, the frosty air stinging my lungs.


Showing not telling

Showing, Not Telling

Using sensory details in your writing


Biographical essay
Biographical Essay

In your essay you are to follow the following standard:

Writing Standards:

1. Narrate a sequence of events and communicate their significance to the audience.

2. Reveal elements of the character’s traits through specific actions, speech, movements, gestures, thoughts, and/or feelings (including dialogue and interior monologue).


Sensory details in writing
Sensory Details in Writing

  • When to use sensory details:

    • Autobiographical essays

    • Biographical essays

    • CAHSEE/SAT narratives

    • Personal statements for college

  • “A good writer creates a picture for the reader. Good writers don't just tell, they show the reader what is happening.”


Examples of showing not telling
Examples of Showing, Not Telling

I missed the bus. = You are just telling your reader what happened.

Or you could show your reader what happened by including details such as:Just as I turned the corner, the bright-yellow school bus pulled away from the curb and I could see my friend Johnny frantically waving at me through the back window.


Another example of showing vs telling
Another Example of Showing vs. Telling

Close your eyes!

Telling

The boy was very frightened.

Showing

The boy screeched in terror and threw his hands up to protect himself. Even though his legs felt like they had turned to jelly, he jumped to his feet and tried to get out of the monster’s reach.


Try with a partner
Try with a partner:

  • The baby loudly cried.

    • REMEMBER: Keep the subject the same but ADD sensory details that appeal to either:

      • Sound

      • Sight

      • Touch

      • Taste

      • Smell


Showing an image
“Showing” an Image

  • Telling: The sun was setting.

  • Showing: The fiery orange ball of the sun began to lower itself in the sky, casting its brilliant light on the glassy surface of the river.


Try it with a partner
Try it with a partner:

  • Telling: I walked through the outdoor market.


Showing not telling activity
Showing, Not Telling Activity

  • In your groups of four:

    • Rotate the whiteboard to each person.

    • Each slide will have a sentence or image.

    • Your group must create or revise the sentence into a “showing” sentence.

    • Take turns writing your group’s new “showing” sentence on the whiteboard.


Showing not telling activity1
Showing, Not Telling Activity

  • MAKE SURE TO WRITE SENTENCES CLEARLY

  • Your group will get five minutes to create a perfect sentence

  • After five minutes, we will put up the boards and choose the best “showing” sentences!

  • Best group = Superstars!!! 


Format
Format:

Slide #

Group Sentence:

Winning Sentence:


Slide #1

  • I looked out the window, searching for my dad’s car.


Slide #2

  • The girl who would be my best friend sat across the table.


Slide #3

  • The bus I was riding on was crowded but I noticed him right away.




Now let s look at your own essays
Now, let’s look at your own essays!

  • Take a look at your own essay

  • Identify: Where are some “telling” sentences that you could “jazz up” using sensory details?

    • HIGHLIGHT at least five!


Ticket out the door
Ticket Out the Door

  • Choose 1 of your five highlighted sentences.

  • Write down the original sentence.

  • Then rewrite it, making sure to “show” and not just “tell” in your new sentence.


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