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Online Safety. For Parents at Hollyfield School Neil Beckett – Young People’s Health Link Worker. Seeing the Internet through young people’s eyes. Benefits to being online: Staying in touch Making friends Being creative Finding help Getting ahead Learning Staying organised
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Online Safety For Parents at Hollyfield School Neil Beckett – Young People’s Health Link Worker
Seeing the Internet through young people’s eyes Benefits to being online: Staying in touch Making friends Being creative Finding help Getting ahead Learning Staying organised Special needs and disability Fun!
Risk But we want to minimize risk There are many benefits to being online
Risks & Concerns • Cyber Bullying – Trolling • Roasting • Digital Footprint • Fraud • Grooming • Radicalisation • False News • Sexting • Pornography • Adult Discussions • Amount of online friends • Spending too long online • Personal Information including location • Mental Health, Self Image & Self Esteem
Impact on Mental Health • Anxiety • Poor Sleep • Body Image • Cyberbullying • FoMO– ‘Fear of Missing out’
Sexting Sexting is the act of sending a sexually explicit message or image, usually on your phone or online. Anyone who creates, sends or distributes an explicit image of someone who is under the age of eighteen is considered to be committing a crime – this is child pornography and it is illegal.
Online Relationships The world changes. Children Don’t. Talk to your children about sex, relationships and the internet.
Online Grooming Grooming is when someone builds an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for the purposes of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation or trafficking.
Had students at Hollyfield ever given out personal details to a stranger online? Nearly 60 pupils said yes.
Online Grooming • In 2012 Surrey police began an investigation into online grooming. • A parent was concerned about their sons contact with a person claiming to be a 13 year old girl from Rome.. • 37 victims in Surrey and elsewhere in the UK • Offenders had enticed their victims by pretending to be girls sending indecent images of themselves, and then requesting indecent images in return. • Victims then blackmailed into sending further images
Cyberbullying • Cyber bullying can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and it can go viral very quickly Types of Cyberbullying: Impersonation – hacking into someone’s account and sending embarrassing material Outing and Trickery – getting another to share secrets and then spreading them Cyberstalking – often making someone afraid for their safety Flaming – purposely getting into online arguments by using extreme/offensive language Exclusion – intentionally leaving someone out of online engagements Harassment –sending rude messages Denigration – sending fake/untrue information about others
Only accept friend requests from people you know in real life Never give out personal details online Delete anyone from your friend list that you don’t know If you feel as though something is not right, tell an adult immediately Do not send abusive messages or comments Do not contribute to abusive messages or comments Be mindful of what you post
Talking to your child about using the Internet/social media Don'ts • Ban them from using the internet as a long term solution to a problem • Especially without explaining to them why • (As you know) young people do not like being patronisedand on the whole they are very knowledgeable when it comes to the internet ‘There comes a point when it isn’t possible to keep track of what your child does online. You’ll be relying on things you taught them early on, and doing everything you can to make sure that you’re there if they need you.’
Talking to your child about using the internet/social media Do’s • Have an open dialogue with them about their internet use • Always ask them if you have concerns • Avoid patronising and start a conversation by saying.. “Have you heard of../do you know of../have you learnt the risks of…” • Know your stuff – it is easier to talk to them about a form of social media if you know at least the basics of how it works • Don’t be afraid to set online boundaries • Concentrate on how children use digital media rather than for how long Research shows that parental interest and involvement for online behaviour is positively correlated with online resilience – children who are given boundaries will grow up feeling far more secure; so don’t stay completely removed from your child’s online life.
Q. I am worried my child is spending too much time online. How do I encourage them not to? • Talk to them - About what they are doing and set up and agreement. • Family agreement - The best way to use the internet. • Use apps to regulate use. • No device in bedrooms at night time. • Be the role model – Set an example • Alternative activities – Offline. • Stay in control • Encourage the whole family to unplug and play
Q. What do I do if my child has lots of online friends? • These days having online friends is normal • The important thing is to have a conversation with them about their online friends Their well-being: • Are they replacing it with social interaction in real-life or is this more sociable than they would ever be in real life? • Is it affecting their self-esteem? • Are they happy talking to people online? Safety: • Are they planning to meet them? • Do they share any personal details? • Do they webchat or send pictures to them? • If it is a friend of a friend – have they asked if their friend has actually ever met them?
Q. How do I make sure they do their homework without getting distracted by social media? • Compromise is key here • Paying focused attention for even as long as 15 minutes can lead to a good standard of work • Make a deal where they can check their phone in another room every 15 minutes/half an hour • They must understand why you have chosen that amount of time and how it benefits them (ie. They may understand subjects at school better and find them more enjoyable) • Recognise their good behavior
Q. If my child has a YouTube channel should I ban them from using it? • It depends • It is important to be aware of what they post and who can view it. • If they are sharing information which has identifying features – school uniform, your house, or local area – which might enable a viewer to trace them then this can be considered dangerous • Comments left on videos may contain distressing/inappropriate content or offensive language. If your child uploads videos to YouTube, we recommend that you regularly monitor comments made by other users. • Educating your child is key – • Have they thought about the fact that anyone in the world could view what they have uploaded? • Do they know the risks of sharing data? • Do they know that if the videos contain other people your child should ask their permission before uploading them?
Q. My child is being bullied online. What should I do? • Reassure them that the situation can be resolved. • Ask them not to reply to attempts by the cyberbully to contact them as cyberbullies are often looking for the attention. • Keep a written record of what has happened and keep the messages (text, emails) that have been sent as evidence by taking screen shots or printing them out. • Use tools on social media networks and mobile services to block out the bullies. • Don’t deny your child access to technology, instead moderate their uses of the device. • Inform the school / police if appropriate
Q. I’m worried about my child’s use of social media but they won’t talk to me about it, what should I do? • Try and approach conversation in a different way with them • Ask another family member to try and talk to them about it • If appropriate, ask the school if there is a member of staff who can talk to them about it • Looking at their profile behind their back may be necessary depending on your level of concern, but this is obviously something that should be avoided if possible as you will break trust
The reality is the best tips for parenting online are the same as parenting offline.. • Rather than making inflexible rules have a conversation • Supportive and enabling parenting has a more positive impact on resilience than parental strategies to restrict or monitor internet use • Create a supportive environment for exploration and learning • Don’t be too hands-off
