The Power of Words

1. The Power of Words You will not find anything new in this presentation about words. You will be reminded that WHAT we say, and HOW we say it, can, indeed, be important. EVEN life changing.

2. Part One:What is a WORD? Discussion: How would you define a word? Dictionary Meaning: “a speech sound that symbolizes or communicates a meaning” “a verbal signal”

3. Painting a Verbal Picture What do good speakers and teachers do? They paint vivid verbal pictures. They tell good stories to make their points. When we talk to other people, we are sending pictures back and forth to each other. Example: I am going to say a word, do not think of a picture. “A good story paints a thousand pictures”

4. Words and Culture Words are used in every culture to connect with the world and the people in it. Words are tools we use to greet, inform, ask, answer, teach, encourage, comfort, praise, celebrate, thank, pray, laugh, and connect. Words can also be used in a negative way. We are going to increase our awareness of the damage our words can do and be reminded that we can take control of our tongues.

5. The Tongue and the Pen are Mighty Words have shaped history. They’ve given birth to ideas, started wars, inspired millions, and made people rich and famous. Words can hurt and shock, or they can heal and lift spirits. Words are not only powerful, but they can have a lasting impact. Do Example: Word lists----discussion points.

6. HELLO??????? If a piece of paper with words on it can lower or raise the spirits of the people in this room within seconds, think of the effect that some of the words we speak can have on others…..and on ourselves.

7. What Research Says According to research conducted in business schools at several top universities, these are twelve of the words most likely to influence a prospective buyer. You proven love easy health guarantee New money saveresults safety discover

8. continued One business managed to get eleven of them in one slogan “You will love to save money with Germ-Gone, the easy-to-use, proven new discovery that guarantees your health and safety.” Other words that have tested positive for consumers: miracle,magic, quick, improved, bargain, hurry,revolutionary, amazing,offer,wanted,now, sensational

9. Continued The second research study was conducted by the National Institute on Aging on the impact of certain words that reinforce stereotypes about people over the age of sixty. If words like “senile”, “decrepit”, “slow”, “old”, “fading” “fossil”, were used around seniors, they have a adverse physical, as well as psychological effect. Blood pressure will rise and nervous reactions will often appear on the skin. If words like “insightful”, “wise”, “experienced”, “worldly”, were used, the results were opposite.

10. Impact of Words It doesn’t make any difference which age group is studied regarding the impact of words. The truth is that words can tear down and words can build up no matter how young or old your are.

11. Words Can Change Lives Discussion: Has a person ever said anything to you that changed your life? Positively or Negatively? Discuss stories: 1. “Are you too stupid to do anything right?” 2. “This is good writing.” Be aware of the effect our words have on someone else and words that we often utter carelessly or in an emotional state can have a lasting effect.

12. Words have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world. Buddha

13. The Power of Words A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A bitter word may hate instill. A brutal word may smite and kill. A gracious word may smooth the way. A joyous word may light the day. A timely word may lessen stress. A loving word may heal and bless. Author Unknown

14. Words Can Hurt and Offend “DIRTY THIRTY” List--- Discussion What kind of language drags you down? Most frequently heard from list: 1. Swearing and gross-out language 2. Complaining, moaning and whining 3. Mean-spirited and hurtful words 4. Rude and inconsiderate language We will focus on 2 and 3.

15. Complaining, Moaning, Whining “I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.” Jane Wagner Bruce Diaso story---discuss “Focus on the good life……and be thankful for it”

16. Mean-Spirited and Hurtful Words “Sticks and Stones can break my bones and words can break my heart.” Robert Fulghum Entertainment media trends show that it is funny to put people down, to hurt them, and to humiliate them. How can we correct this?

17. Correcting Ourselves----BF Style Review the “dirty thirty” list. Who has struggled with something on this list. Select three that you would like to stop doing. Pass out index cards and write them down. For every time you forget this rule, place a mark on the card. Do this for a week. See if your attitude changes. If we can reduce our mistakes and improve on the way we talk to others, we’re making progress.

18. Words come from the Heart For a man’s words will always express what has been stored in his heart. Luke 6:45 “Every time we open our mouths, we reveal something about ourselves” “When we examine our own language, we get to know ourselves better” “Our words are generally a reflection of what is going on inside”

19. What’s in Storage and How Did it Get There? A preacher, teacher or a person talking steadily will say about six thousand words in just one hour. Some people will hear and read about 40 thousand words per day. That’s a lot of input. IS it positive or negative?

20. Can We Control What Goes In? You are what you are because of what goes into you mind. ZigZiglar Two things to do that make sure our hearts are full of good words. Screen out the thrash: would you let someone dump trash in your house?-why let them dump in in your mind? 2. Start the day with Positive Input: Find some positive reading material to start your day with. (cards)

21. Words are Choices Conscious or Unconscious? Not only do we choose what goes into our mouths, we choose what comes out of them. “Words go into the body. So they cause us to be well and hopeful and high-energy and wondrous and funny and cheerful. Or they can cause us to be depressed. They get into the body and cause us to be sullen and sour and depressed and, finally, sick.” Maya Angelou

22. Continued What types of words do we want to go into the body of another person? Hopeful, happy, high-energy, wondrous, funny, cheerful OR Sullen, sour, depressed, sick. “Realize now the power that your words command if you simple choose them wisely.” Anthony Robbins

23. Daily Communication Choices We are always making choices. What do you choose to say??? Discuss handout: Daily communication choices Easy to do on paper but can we really make these choices in our daily lives?????

24. Greetings are a Choice We make unconscious choice on how we greet others. Ex. Hi. How are you? Fine. Do we really want to know how people are, or do we just want to hear them say “fine” so we can move on? ( Bobby story—young banker)

25. Continued Every greeting has in it at least four wonderful opportunities: To be a bit more imaginative and creative To have fun To lift someone else’s spirits Probably lift our own Ex. How are you? Well, I was good. But now that you’re here, I’m ever better

26. Strategically Positive Questions Who’s someone you’re thankful for? Why? What’s been the highlight of your day so far? What’s the best place you’ve ever been? What’s an important goal you have? Who’s your best friend? Why? The questions make other people feel important. It leads to great conversation and make better relationships. Discussion: Make a list of questions we could ask students as we greet them each day.

27. Three Choices That Influence Our Words 1. Tone of Voice 40 % of our verbal communication is made through tone of voice. It puts feeling behind our words. 2. Body Language We often use our bodies to express more than half of what we say. We should be aware of our facial expressions and how we use our hands. 3.Touch A gentle touch or an affectionate hug can be a powerful way to strengthen our words. Think what kind word, a soft tone, and a gentle touch can do when combined.

28. Break Time Take 10 minutes

29. Part Two:The Win-Win Rewards of Positive Words You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime. Dale Carnegie

30. Good Finder---Look for the Good Concept:Look for the good—in other people, and in every situation. Do we do this??? Sayings: Seek and you shall find. We always find what we’re looking for What you see is what you get How do these sayings apply to our life???

31. Continued Media: The media, most of the time reports the bad in this world. This is what we hear and we become negative. Earl Warren—former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court states, “we read the main section of a newspaper to learn about people’s failures and read the sports page to learn about people’s accomplishments.” We need to look for good news and share it with others.

32. Continued Hal Urban—author, teacher, professor. Starts every class or seminar with these questions: What are we celebrating today? Who has good news? Who has something good to say? Students learned that there is something to celebrate every day and to work a daily dose of good news into their learning environment.

33. Continued Hal Urban also added three more choices to his daily routine. Share something about someone you are thankful for. Say something complimentary about a classmate Share something funny (clean jokes only) Through 30 years of teaching and speaking, he often ask his former students what they learned in his class and most students state that they loved the way he started his class each day. They learned to look for the good in life.

34. Important thought Look for the good instead of the bad, the right instead of the wrong, the beauty instead of the blight, the joy instead of the sorrow. Do this, and you’ll always have something good to say.

35. Life Enhancer Enhance---Webster’s meaning is raise or improve Can we raise the spirit of others and improve the quality of life around them???? That is being a “life enhancer”. Affirm---Webster’s meaning is to state positive or to validate Do we affirm life in other people? This means looking for, and finding, the good in people and then telling them.

36. Thoughtful Thirty Discussion: Pass out list and discuss. These are considered to be the best choices for using words to affirm life in others and in ourselves. Let’s look at three statements off the list. Inquire and express interest Give encouragement/inspire others Praise, honor and build up.

37. Inquire and express interest People like to know that they count, that someone else actually IS interested in them. The simplest method for affirming other people is to get to know their “story”. “I want to know more about you, you're important”. Smile and listen—powerful communication skills that enrich any conversation.

38. continued In the classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, there are six rules for outstanding human relations skills: 1.Become genuinely interested in other people. 2. Smile 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. 4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. 5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest. 6. Make the other person feel important ---and do it sincerely.

39. Give encouragement/Inspire Others Encourage---literally means to give courage. The right words spoken at the right time can often be one of the most positive, life-affirming, and long lasting gifts you’ll ever give. Thomas Edison Story---discussion

40. Praise, Honor, Build Up Look for the good and then take a few minutes to comment on it. Everyone around us would enjoy a kind word. Food service people, maintenance, office personnel, para-professionals, teacher, administrators, etc. “One of the best ways we can be good is to bring out the best in other people”

41. Praise is always a Win-Win “We increase whatever we praise. The whole creation responds to praise, and is glad”. Charles Fillmore Is it possible not to feel better about ourselves when we know we’ve made someone else feel good?

42. Loving Words Build and Heal Relationships “What others need from us, on an ongoing basis, is to know that they are cared for, that their good deeds inspire gratitude, and that others love them. It’s that simple. And just because they hear such sentiments on Monday doesn’t mean that they won’t need to hear them again on Tuesday. This is the primary reason why words that heal and inspire must be repeated again and again”. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin Place “children” in place of “others”

43. Continued “Do you know what I like most about you?” Before they answer, tell them what you like about them on that day. We experience the world largely through interacting with others, so our relationships, especially with friends, are at the very core of our existence. The words we use and the words we hear will often determine the quality of these relationships and, in turn, the quality of our lives.

44. The Five A’s of Healthy Communication Attention: paying attention to the other person and his or her needs. Appreciation: saying “thank you” more often Ask: asking about the hopes and joys and concerns of other people Affection: Using terms of affection. “You’re the best” Affirm: Building up and encouraging

45. Gracious Words Show Respect and Gratitude Which of the following types of language better represent the kind of environment you want to live or work in?

46. Language that is….. Civil Respectful Courteous Kind Considerate Polite Gentle

47. Language that is…… Rude Crude Raw Coarse Filthy Angry Mean

48. Continued How many of you hear the type of language indicated on the second sign? How many of you hear too much of the second type of language? How many of you use the second type of language? How many of you are free to choose the type of language that comes out of your mouth?

49. IS there a Solution? Experts in the field suggest: We need to do a better job at home and in schools to help young people use manners and proper language. Place an emphasis on civility and kind words in our institutions and communities---we will create a nourishing environment. MODEL the language!! Manners Experts: Leticia Baldridge and Judith Martin We can make a difference.

50. When did you learn the “magic words”? Discussion: How times have changed. We can not blame kids---they are a reflection of what is going on in the adult world. Share story of what happened in New York. Turn schools into a “caring community.” We can change if we believe we can.