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Bruin Leadership Training I. What is a peer helper/leader?. A peer helper is someone who:. L istens Shows that we care Demonstrates understanding Is empathetic Shares experiences. Five Essential Helping Skills of a Peer Helper. Being Accepting Being Nonjudgmental Being understanding

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Bruin Leadership Training I

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Bruin Leadership Training I

What is a peer helper/leader?

A peer helper is someone who:

  • Listens

  • Shows that we care

  • Demonstrates understanding

  • Is empathetic

  • Shares experiences

Five Essential Helping Skills of a Peer Helper

  • Being Accepting

  • Being Nonjudgmental

  • Being understanding

  • Being Genuine

  • Being Trustworthy

Being accepting

  • To be with and understand someone else, even when they are different from us.

  • Always be warm and friendly

Being Nonjudgmental

  • This means that you should never say something was good or bad, right or wrong.

  • Do not blame, criticize or act shocked at what we hear from other people.

Being Understanding

  • Look at all points of view.

  • Recognize the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

Being Genuine

  • Be the real you.

  • Act natural not phony.

Being Trustworthy

  • Do not tell those things that were told to you in private.


  • Things you cannot keep confidential:

    • When someone tells you that he/she is thinking about or planning a suicide.

    • If someone tells you they are planning to hurt someone else.

    • If someone tells you they have been the victim of physical or sexual abuse.

Group Activity

  • Tell which skill is not being used…

    • You shouldn’t have done that; you should have told the teacher.

    • Guess what Susan told me today while I was helping her with a problem.

    • I don’t want to help her, she is weird.

    • Really, I know you have a problem, but my point of view is the right one.

Roadblocks to Helping!!

  • Advising-Telling others what they should or shouldn’t do.

  • Judging-Telling others what they did or what they think is good or bad, or right or wrong.

  • Interpreting—Telling others the reason why they did something or why they feel the way they do.

  • Warning—Telling others what bad thing will happen to them if they act a certain way.

  • Denying Feelings—Telling others they shouldn’t feel the way they do.

  • Sympathizing—Telling others that you feel sorry or bad for them, or that what happened to them was terrible.

  • Changing the subject—Causing others to talk about something else other than their problems.

Reasons for not giving advice!

  • It keeps others dependent on us to solve their problems rather than helping them learn to solve problems on their own.

  • It usually stops the helping process because it causes people to feel that are trying to control them.

  • If advice is taken and it turns out to be a disaster, we are responsible.

Hidden Messages in Roadblocks

  • Advising—Makes the person think they are not smart enough.

  • Judging—Makes the person feel guilty

  • Interpreting—Makes the person feel they are too stupid to know what was going on.

  • Warning—Makes the person think they are too stupid to know what is going to happen.

  • Denying Feelings—Makes the person feel like what is inside of them is a mistake and they feel confused and alone.

  • Sympathizing—It makes the person feel weak and helpless.

  • Changing the Subject—I do not care enough about you to listen to your problems.

Listening Skills

  • Attending is the way we use our bodies to show others that we are listening to them.

    • You should

      • Squarely face the person you are helping

      • Maintain good eye contact

      • Keep an open posture—arms not


      • Lean slightly toward the person

      • Use occasional nodding of the head

        and “mm-hmmmms.

Focused Listening

  • Focused Listening is listening to understand the person’s message and the feeling behind the message.

  • It is:

    • Listening more than talking

    • Letting the person finish his or her sentences

    • Listening with thinking about what you want to say next


  • Respect means to value or regard the worth of people and things and to treat them with consideration, care and concern.

Think about Respect

  • Having respect for yourself and others is vital to the way you choose to live your life, as well as how you interact with your friends, family members, and teachers.

  • When people respect themselves, they will not destroy their minds or bodies with drugs or engage in any other risk-taking behavior.

  • When people respect each other, there are less conflicts, disagreements, and misunderstandings.

  • Fundamental respect for all people is shown when we:

  • Avoid violent verbal or physical behavior.

  • Interact with consideration of others’ needs


  • Accept that people are unique and have different beliefs and values.

The following is a list of some of the common forms of disrespect that are widespread within our society.

  • Verbal disrespect includes not saying “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me”; cursing; name-calling; teasing; bullying; threatening to hurt someone; and sarcasm.

  • Physical disrespect includes assault with a weapon, hitting, pushing or kicking as well as touching someone’s body inappropriately.

  • Self disrespect includes not taking care of yourself by not keeping yourself clean, abusing alcohol, experimenting with drugs, and even dressing and acting inappropriately.

  • Disrespect for the environment includes littering, polluting and harming animals and plants.

  • Disrespect for property includes stealing, and defacing property as in the case of graffiti.

  • Other forms of disrespect include rude or vulgar gestures and inappropriate public behavior such as playing songs with vulgar language in a public place.

Respect Activity

  • Get with a partner and discuss the following:

    • What are some ways to show respect to yourself and other?

    • Discuss a situation when somebody has shown respect to you in the last month.

    • Write down three ways of how showing respect will make our school better.

Our role as Bruin Leaders within the school

  • Peer mentoring

    • Sign up for homeroom/find a partner

    • Homeroom period every Tuesday and Friday

  • Address problems identified in climate survey

    • Nov-Dec.Getting to Know You and Respect

    • Jan-FebAnti-bullying/harrassment

    • March/AprilDrug/Alcohol/Tobacco Use

    • April/MaySelf Motivation/Do your best theme

  • Help with other functions within the school

  • Peer Tutoring after school

  • What are some other functions you can think of which might help?

Rules and Regulations

  • Must attend training sessions-Approx. 15 hours

  • Work with freshman homerooms for 25 hours this school year. One hour is earned for every two homeroom visits.

  • Must volunteer at the school at least 10 additional hours.

  • The Junior with the most hours will be given special recognition.

  • Total hours junior year—50 Hours

Senior Year

  • Must Attend 25 hours of training.

  • Work with your sophomore homerooms for 35 hours. One hour is earned for every two homeroom visits.

  • Must volunteer at school events at least 15 additional hours.

  • The senior with the most hours will be given special recognition.

  • Total Senior Hours: 85 hours

What is in it for me?

  • Opportunity to earn community service hours for scholarships

  • Graduate with a Leadership Cord

  • Self Satisfaction that you have made a difference in Brooke High School

  • Life-long friends

  • Helping others is a way to increase self-esteem.

  • Necessary Paperwork

    • Bruin Leader Pledge

    • Time Sheets

  • Nov/Dec Plan

    • Week of Nov. 12th- Getting to Know You Activities

    • Week of Nov. 26th - Dec. 21Respect Activities

    • Next Training Session:

      • Saturday, Dec. 1st or After School Monday, Dec. 3rd

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