Web address: www.drjohnirvine.com Email: media@thereadclinic.com HHF and Reparations DVD complete with Happy/Sad Face M

1. DR JOHN’S BOOKS & DVD’s – A MUST FOR EVERY SCHOOL & PARENT LIBRARY PURCHASE OR ORDER TODAY ALL JUST $30 each or Set 4 DVD’s $99 • Web address: www.drjohnirvine.com • Email: media@thereadclinic.com • HHF and Reparations DVD complete with Happy/Sad Face Magnets

2. Caring for the Carer AHISA PASTORAL CARE CONFERENCE 2006 Dr John Irvine Child Psychologist Author & Public Speaker

3. MODEL OF MANAGEMENT RESPONSIBILITY Self ???? University PASTORAL STYLE • Protective • Proactive • Laissez faire • Reactive CCGS Traditional High Schools SYSTEM

4. CHALLENGES FACING SCHOOLS • More technological innovation. • More community expectation. • More political infiltration (eg REPORTS!) • More parental agitation. • More economic rationalization. • More government legislation. • More legal documentation. • More behavioural irritation.

5. PARENTAL EXPECTATIONS • Kids to enjoy school – feeling good about selves, teachers, friends and place in the school. • Kids who have discipline and values that respect and reflect home values. • Order and stability. • Some say in their children’s education. • Reassurance that they’re going OK as parents. • Reassurance that the kids are going OK – Better than if they’d gone to public schools! • Reflected respect. • Education in a safe and supportive environment, free of all bullying, harassment etc. • High functioning student outcomes despite often dysfunctional home backgrounds.

6. Uncertainty Lack of control And / or DYSTRESS Increased production of certain hormones from the pituitary gland, just below the brain Increased production of hormones from the adrenal glands including CORTISOL AND ADRENALINE Increased risk of blood clots and hardening arteries Reduced Immune Response PHYSIOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF STRESS

7. STRESS SOLUTIONS • Rebalance • Revitalize • Rethink • Rejuvenate • Reorganise • Restore/Repair

8. REBALANCE PARENT “The Discipline Deliverer” ADULT “The Sanity Saver” CHILD “The Family Favourite”

9. REVITALISE GOD SELF OTHERS MAN

10. RETHINK • Challenge faulty belief systems – Reflective and deflective management. • Shift role from enforcer to facilitator – student empowerment (Andrew Fuller’s research on resilience). • Rethink strategy on “Bullying”. • Rethink retributive discipline towards restorative justice. • Rethink referral system – Brief solution based role in welfare counselling. • Rethink role of students or equivalent for more objective management

11. REORGANISE • Using levels system or equivalent for more objective management. • Parental expectation clarification. • Student expectation clarification – At enrolment and when levels are dropping. • Profile and data base the whole child and involve their talents. • Reflective use of tribe to support the tribe and solve tribe’s problems. • Prioritize attention to up-surging areas (eg. Social skills, leadership training groups.)

12. RESTORATIVE MODEL FOR SCHOOLS

14. TAMING • T Tablets and medicine – “CALM DOWN”. • A Attacking (smacking) – “BEAT DOWN”. • M Martyrdom – “SELF DOWN”. • IInjecting message - (shouting) “SHOUT DOWN” or insult “PUT DOWN”. • N - Nagging – “WEAR DOWN”. • G- Giving and giving and giving - IN! (denial) – “BACK DOWN”.

15. TAMING v’s TRAINING • TTeaching by praise and practice. • RReflecting, not wearing. • A Adjusting from power over to power with and power within. • IInstill clear rules and routines. • NNurturing the self and soul needs within us so we can then nurture our children. • I‘I’ messages. • N Nurturing the child within us so we can have fun with our children. • GGetting together for mutual support and ideas.

16. REFLECT RESPONSIBILITIES Kids need TRAINING not TAMING!  

17. REPARATIONS • R Remember goal is repair not revenge. • EEndeavour to build trust rather than manage by mistrust. • PPromote power within (and with) not power over. • A Assert “I” rather than criticise “you”. • R Reflect responsibility. • A Analyse/dispute belief systems if same old clashes occur. • T Try to match freedoms sought with responsibilities shown. • I Identify and understand feelings. • O Openly share family values. • NNurture their confidence in Reparations/Restitution • S Start early.

18. THERAPY PRINCIPLES • Restraints • Solution orientation • Externalizing the effects • Self-description • Exceptions • Co-operation • Patterns of interaction • “Going through the back door”

19. REJUVENATE - PLAY!!! • PLAY - Releases endorphins – Natures anti- depressant. • PLAY – Reduces stress. • PLAY – Mends marriages. • PLAY – Enhances the immune system. • PLAY – Fixes families. • PLAY – Means better child management at home or school. …… We-re never too old to enjoy our childhood …… We should all decide to die young, as late as possible.

20. FAMILY/SCHOOL COMMUNICATION CHECKLIST • C Contact with all parties regularly. • O Orientation on expectations (school brochure). • M Make rules cooperatively, confidently, consistently. • M Make systematic provisions for family-school bonding. • U Understand where families are coming from. • N Understand where families are coming from. • I Inservice parents to reverse de-skilling. • C Co-ordinate parents so they have peer support. • A Accept your role as facilitators (“united you stand ..” • T Turn/reflect responsibility/solutions Back to front. • E Energy and enthusiasm (mood contagion) – Motivated teachers with strong hearts and soothed souls.

21. As one famous teacher, Haim Ginnott put it: • “I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the school. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate, it’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher I possess a tremendous power to make school life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crises will be escalated or de-escalated, a child humanized or de-humanized and a parent become an advocate or an adversary.”

22. DR JOHN’S BOOKS & DVD’s – A MUST FOR EVERY SCHOOL & PARENT LIBRARY PURCHASE OR ORDER TODAY ALL JUST $30 each or Set 4 DVD’s $99 • Web address: www.drjohnirvine.com • Email: media@thereadclinic.com • HHF and Reparations DVD complete with Happy/Sad Face Magnets