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The “Jungle”

The “Jungle” A guide to Navy ranks Gazelles = Ensigns Although easily frightened, they have been known to stupidly lounge in plain sight of the “lions” Runs at high speeds, with no purpose or direction The slow and weak are frequently slain Cheetah = Lieutenant Junior Grade Loner, feisty

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The “Jungle”

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  1. The “Jungle” A guide to Navy ranks

  2. Gazelles = Ensigns • Although easily frightened, they have been known to stupidly lounge in plain sight of the “lions” • Runs at high speeds, with no purpose or direction • The slow and weak are frequently slain

  3. Cheetah = Lieutenant Junior Grade • Loner, feisty • Makes the occasional kill on a weaker animal

  4. Lions = Lieutenant • Hunts in packs • Can bring down a larger animal with coordination • Easily slays the “cheetah”

  5. Water Buffalo = Lieutenant Commander • Aging, slower beast, but- • Cannot be brought down by a single “Lion”

  6. Hippopotamus = Commander • Slow and cumbersome on land • Safe in own environment • Lays low to avoid enemies

  7. Elephants = Captain • Rules the “Jungle” • Impossible to bring down except by his own vials.

  8. Hyena = Chiefs • Laughs continuously at the “Cheetah” • Helps the “Lions” complete the kill on larger animals

  9. Sloth = Warrant Officer • Skilled in one area only • Comes around only to feed and take care of bodily functions

  10. Dung Beetle = Petty Officers • Forced to deal with the “crap” created by other animals

  11. Sand Crab = GS Employee • Side-steps responsibility. • Has a hard shell which cannot be cracked, even by elephants. • Immune to dung beetles.

  12. Ant = Contract Employee • Lowest on the food chain. • Extremely productive, but can be eliminated by even a cheetah. • Dung beetles like to play with them.

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