Effective Communication to Reduce Conflict

Effective Communication to Reduce Conflict Employee Assistance Program (EAP)

Interpersonal Relationships Breaking it down… • Interpersonal -- existing or occurring between persons • Relationship -- connection, association or involvement an emotion or other connection between people Inherent in these associations/connections between two people there may be concerns, differences and conflicts.

And Building it up… The most essential element for successful interpersonal relationships is: Effective Communication “Working and living in relationships with others is one of the most difficult things we do”.

Communication is: the sharing of • Information • Ideas • Feelings • Attitudes • Values • Beliefs • Hopes • Dreams • Fears • Frustrations • Faith • Meaning in Life with understanding

Communication The process used to send and interpret messages so that they are understood.

Three Elements of Communication Vocal Tone & Inflection 38% Body Language 55% 93% of communication is non-verbal Words 7%

Interpersonal Relationship conflicts are caused by: • Strong emotions • Misperceptions/stereotypes • Poor communication • Miscommunication • Repetitive negative behavior

Objectives of Effective Communication • The receiver interprets the message as the sender intended it. • It achieves the sender’s purposes.

Meaning of Words • The 500 most commonly used words in the English language have an average of 28 meanings each. • The three-letter word “run” has more than one hundred different uses. “Running late to a meeting” “A run in my stocking”

Connotations of Words Word average cheap conservative determined flashy liberal slender traditional Sender’s Meaning normal inexpensive moderate committed striking fair lean old-fashioned Receiver’s Connotation mediocre poorly made radical stubborn gaudy radical skinny dated

The Sender • Sends clear messages • Is in touch with feelings • Does not assume the other person knows what he/she is thinking, feeling, etc. (and perhaps, that those thoughts or feelings are shared by the other person) • Uses language, concepts, experience that other person can understand, appreciate • Checks to see if the other person understands what he/she is sharing

The Receiver • Listens • Acknowledges feelings • Is open or concerned about hearing what the other person is conveying • Does not make assumptions or stereotypes based on the past • Hears and interprets messages of others not using our personal filter. • Checks to see what he/she is hearing and interprets the message accurately

Effective Communication • Speak directly to person involved – pay attention to your body language • Use of 3 part statements: • Identify behavior • Identify how you feel about the behavior • Identify the impact the behavior has on you • Use “I” statements to convey impact of behavior • Convey your needs • Establish clear limits and consequences • Check for understanding • Use “active listening”

Listening DefinitionTo make a conscious effort to hear and attend closely: • Requires effort • Is active, not passive How do you know someone is listening to you?

Active Listening What is active listening? Some examples of active listening include: • Use of encouraging words • Body language • Use of empathy • Open ended questions • Clarifying questions • Check for mutual understanding • Be in the moment

Why Does Communication Break Down? • Personal style • Barriers: • Internal • External

What is your communication style?

Basic Communication Styles-Passive • Not clearly stating what one thinks, feels or wants. The message is one’s own needs, feelings, and desires are less important that the others’. • Goal is to please, to be liked, and avoid conflict. • Resulting feelings are anxious, ignored, hurt, and manipulated. • Benefits are avoiding unpleasant situationsand conflicts.

Basic Communication Styles-Aggressive • Standing up for one’s rights and believing they are more important than others rights’. • Goal is to win, to dominate, to assert power, to intimidate. • Resulting feelings are self righteous, controlling, superior. • Benefits are to feel control or power, to release anger. • Beliefs are either him/her or me and it’s not going to be me if I can help it, “dog eat dog world.”

Basic Communication Styles-Assertive • Respectfully and clearly stating what you think feel or want. • Goal is to give/receive respect while making known opinions, wants or feelings, and to communicate effectively. • Resulting feelings are feeling confident and successful. • Benefitsare feeling good about oneself and experiencing respect from others. • Beliefs are being honest and not blaming.

Barriers to Effective Communication Internal and External: • Noise or other physical/environmental distracters • Sender’s and or receiver’s internal noise • Lack of interest or motivation • Lack of comprehension • Disagreement • Bias of either toward the other

What Can We Do To Ensure Effective Communication?

You Can: • Practice Effective Communication. It is the key to successful relationships at work and at home. • Demonstrate Active Listening skills…clear messages, accurate reception and interpretation. • Be self-aware. Take personal responsibility and remember perspective. • Manage your stress. Pace yourself. Use wide-angle lens. Train for change. Take good care of yourself. Develop and use your support system. • You can only care for others to the degree that you take care of yourself.

Something to Think About….. The greatest problem of communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

For more information, contact… Employee Assistance Program Elizabeth Robinson, Managerrobinson@nso.uchc.eduor call 860-679-2877Ct toll free: 800-852-4392

Effective Communication to Reduce Conflict