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Communicating for Positive Results

Communicating for Positive Results. Presented by Peninsula Conflict Resolution Center April 4, 2014. C ommunication challenging?. Agenda. Tips for managing emotions Effective listening and speaking techniques Skills for eliciting underlying needs and interests

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Communicating for Positive Results

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  1. Communicating for Positive Results Presented by Peninsula Conflict Resolution Center April 4, 2014

  2. Communication challenging?

  3. Agenda • Tips for managing emotions • Effective listening and speaking techniques • Skills for eliciting underlying needs and interests • A five-step process for resolving conflict • Getting support

  4. “Dirt Precedes the Sprout” • When a new seedling emerges, the first thing that comes up is dirt, then the perfectly formed sprout • The first stages of a difficult conversation can feel emotionally messy • The “dirt” signals that something transformative may happen • Try to be present with the emotion and see it through

  5. Conflict Conflict is a disagreement between two or more people or groups about something that is important to them.

  6. Emotions and Conflict • Conflict can escalate when there is an increase in emotion (anger, frustration, shame, fear) • Conflict can de-escalate when emotions are acknowledged and validated

  7. Tips for Managing Emotions • Step back and take three deep breaths • Cool-off from the immediate emotional heat • Reflect on what triggered you • Re-engage when you are calmer and can see the big picture • Work to de-escalate the situation

  8. Listening So People Can Talk Active Listening Techniques: • Attend • Summarize • Rephrase • Reflect • Clarify • Validate

  9. Summarize • Rephrase(facts): Restate the major ideas that have been expressed • Reflect(feelings): Describe the emotions you hear from the other person

  10. Positions vs. Interests • Positions are what we say we want, often in the form of demands • Needs and interests are the why, or the underlying reasons behind what we want • It’s important to uncover needs and interests, so that what matters most can be addressed

  11. Clarify • Ask clarifying questions to understand needs and interests • Use open-ended questions: • Tell me more about… • What would you like to do about… • In what ways are you concerned about… • How does that impact/affect you? • What about that is important to you?

  12. Validate • Respectfully acknowledge the speaker’s participation in the problem-solving process • Even if nothing is resolved, express appreciation: “Thank you for taking the time to talk with me and trying to work something out.”

  13. Practice

  14. Speaking So People Can Listen • About Non-blaming language • Using “I messages” • Avoiding “poison” words

  15. Steps to Resolve a Conflict 1. Cool off 2. Define the problem 3. Find needs 4. Brainstorm solutions 5. Make a plan and go for it

  16. Getting Assistance • Prevention • Support • Intervention

  17. Review We covered: • Tips for managing emotions • Effective listening and speaking techniques • Skills for eliciting underlying needs and interests • A five-step process for resolving conflict • Getting support

  18. Questions

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