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Chapter 5: Birth order. Sibling influences should leave their mark on our personalities. We live with our siblings in the same house for several years, up to approximately two decades. We regard our older siblings as role models and are regarded as role models by our younger siblings.
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Sibling influences should leave their mark on our personalities • We live with our siblings in the same house for several years, up to approximately two decades. • We regard our older siblings as role models and are regarded as role models by our younger siblings. • We influence, and are influenced by, our siblings in many different ways, and it would be surprising if their influence on us did not leave its mark on our developing personality.
Toman’s “family constellation” theory • Toman’s theory proposes that “the role a person has had in early intrafamilial relationships will carry over into adult relationships” (Levinger & Sonnheim, 1965, p. 137) such that people will prefer to affiliate with, date, and marry partners “who enable them to replicate an earlier relationship with a sibling of the opposite sex” (Birtchnell & Mayhew, 1977, p. 19). • According to Toman, heterosexual dyadic relationships should be most successful and satisfactory when both rank and sex complementarity occur, that is, when (a) the older brother of a younger sister is paired with the younger sister of an older brother or (b) the younger brother of an older sister is paired with the older sister of a younger brother (Mendelsohn, Linden, Gruen, & Curran, 1974). (Ickes and Turner, 1983, p. 211).
A not-so-small problem with Toman’s “family constellation” theory • Toman and his colleagues reported some evidence that was consistent with the theory. • However, other researchers have yet to find any convincing support for it. • When you have a theory that only your own research (and no one else’s) supports, your theory is in trouble!
The alternative to toman’s predictions • What’s the alternative to Toman’s predictions? The alternative is an account that goes something like this. • First-born children find themselves in a family that includes two adults as their role models. Having had no previous children, the parents of first-born children expect a great deal from them; and firstborns, in turn, are sensitive to these parental expectations. From a very early age, first-born children feel that it’s their job to think and act as much like a “little adult” as they possibly can. • So, lacking any other role models in their family, first-born children use their parents as their primary role models; they strive very hard to match adult standards as quickly as possible; and they wind up being responsible and achievement-oriented.
The alternative to toman’s predictions • In contrast, last-born children find themselves in family that includes one or more older siblings. Having already had at least one child, their parents have learned to relax and let the new baby be a baby, without the pressure of the expectations that they had for their first-born son or daughter. • Accordingly, lastborns grow up in a more relaxed atmosphere. They don’t have to match adult standards—it’s enough for them to model the behavior of their older sibling(s) instead—and they tend to be doted on by their parents and siblings alike. Their role is to be the “baby of the family,” the child that everyone else in the family finds charming and adorable.
Evidence consistent with the alternative view • . . . relative to firstborns, later borns are rated by themselves (McArthur, 1956) and by their teachers (Miller & Maruyama, 1976) as more socially skilled, . . . are rated by their peers as more popular (a finding that generalizes across the variables of age, race, sex, and socioeconomic status; Miller & Maruyama, 1975; Schachter, 1964), and . . . are more accepting of their peers in return (Sells & Roff, 1963). (Ickes and Turner, 1983, p. 211) • Complementary evidence comes from a 1970 study by Mark Oberlander, Kenneth Frauenfelder, and Helen Heath. They administered the Kuder Preference Record to a large sample of male and female 18-year-olds—a group that is close in age to the college students that Marilyn Turner and I planned to study. Oberlander and his colleagues found that, compared to the first-borns in their study, the later-borns were significantly less interested in working with ideas but were significantly more interested in being active in groups.
Birth order influences in mixed-sex dyads (Ickes & Turner, 1983)
Results of the study by Ickes and turner (1983) • But if the men with older sisters had a social advantage over the men with younger sisters, did the women with older brothers also have a social advantage over the women with younger brothers? They did. The women with older brothers were twice as likely to start up the conversation as the women with younger brothers were. They were also rated as being highly likable, and they smiled at their male partners twice as much as their male partners smiled at them. • These data tell a story that is fairly simple and straightforward. In initial, opposite-sex interactions, men with older sisters and women with older brothers have a social advantage over men with younger sisters and women with younger brothers. This advantage is particularly evident for men with older sisters, but it is also evident for women with older brothers.
Brim’s (1958) view of sibling socialization effects • Orville Brim proposed that a boy who grows up in a family with an older sister should—everything else being equal—have a better chance of learning how to understand and relate well to opposite-sex peers than a boy who grows up in a family with an older brother. By the same token, a girl who grows up in a family with an older brother should—everything else being equal—have a better chance of learning how to understand and relate well to opposite-sex peers than a girl who grows up in a family with an older sister. For later-born children, these influences of older siblings are assumed to be fairly powerful, and to occur “on top of” the parents’ influence. • Brim’s analysis further assumes that younger siblings, whose social skills and social role repertoires are still developing, will be influenced more by their older siblings than vice versa. This asymmetrical influence reflects the fact that older siblings typically have acquired more knowledge and experience that their younger siblings have, leading their younger siblings to look to them for guidance more than vice versa.
Brim’s (1958) re-analysis of koch’s (1955) data • Helen Koch’s sample included 48 boys with an older sister; 48 boys with an older brother; 48 boys with a younger sister; 48 boys with a younger brother; 48 girls with an older brother; 48 girls with an older sister; 48 girls with a younger brother; and 48 girls with an a younger sister. Within each group of 48, the age gap between the older and the younger sibling was varied systematically. After identifying the specific children to be included in her sample, Koch asked the children’s teachers to rate them on 58 behavioral dimensions. • The result was an impressive and rigorously constructed data set, but one that could be overwhelming in its size and complexity. For this reason, Orville Brim re-analyzed Koch’s data with the intent of simplifying her findings and distilling their essence. • Brim divided Koch’s behavioral dimension measures into “instrumental” and “expressive” traits based on their congruence with masculine and feminine roles. Brim’s list of “masculine” tendencies encompasses traits such as leadership, self-confidence, assertiveness, competitiveness, and aggression. His list of “feminine” tendencies includes traits such as affection, cooperation, and flexibility. (Sulloway, 1996, p. 77).
Design of a hypothetical study to test between brim’s and toman’s predictions
