Writing Clearly

1. Writing Clearly Strategies in Grantwriting 8/04/06 Erica Whitney, Office of Research

2. Think back on some of the bad examples of writing that you�ve come across. Was the message communicated effectively? Did the author persuade you to his point? Did you believe what the author was telling you?Think back on some of the bad examples of writing that you�ve come across. Was the message communicated effectively? Did the author persuade you to his point? Did you believe what the author was telling you?

3. Starting the Writing Process While the things that we are going to talk about today are directed towards grantwriting, a lot of this information is applicable to writing journal articles as well.While the things that we are going to talk about today are directed towards grantwriting, a lot of this information is applicable to writing journal articles as well.

4. Starting the Writing Process

5. Starting the Writing Process We won�t go over these because these are covered in all of the other sessions of this course. Similarly, though, it is useful to understand the IMRAD design of a journal article: Introduction, Methods, Results, and Discussion.We won�t go over these because these are covered in all of the other sessions of this course. Similarly, though, it is useful to understand the IMRAD design of a journal article: Introduction, Methods, Results, and Discussion.

6. Starting the Writing Process I never used to be a great believe in outlining, but I�ve been won over to it. A great thing about an outline is that you can use it as a checklist as you write to make sure that you�ve included everything that you meant to include. This can be particulary important if you are responding to a specific funding announcement.I never used to be a great believe in outlining, but I�ve been won over to it. A great thing about an outline is that you can use it as a checklist as you write to make sure that you�ve included everything that you meant to include. This can be particulary important if you are responding to a specific funding announcement.

7. The Writing Process

8. The Writing Process Or, the converse of this is: Don�t piss the reviewers off.Or, the converse of this is: Don�t piss the reviewers off.

9. The Writing Process Once you�ve gotten down all of the content that you want the reader to know about, it�s time to go about polishing it.Once you�ve gotten down all of the content that you want the reader to know about, it�s time to go about polishing it.

10. The Writing Process You need to know your audience. Not everyone who is going to be reading your application is going to know your field very well. You need to write your proposal in a way so that all of the reviewers, regardless of their specialty, can understand what you�ve written. When you get to highly technical points, you can use technical language, but you should definitely NOT be using technical language in the specific aims or background sections. Writing complexly doesn�t make you sound intellectual, it just buries your ideas under a bunch of excess syllables and words and phrases. You WANT the reviewers to understand what you are writing about, right? Because if they don�t understand what you are writing about, they�re not going to give you any money!You need to know your audience. Not everyone who is going to be reading your application is going to know your field very well. You need to write your proposal in a way so that all of the reviewers, regardless of their specialty, can understand what you�ve written. When you get to highly technical points, you can use technical language, but you should definitely NOT be using technical language in the specific aims or background sections. Writing complexly doesn�t make you sound intellectual, it just buries your ideas under a bunch of excess syllables and words and phrases. You WANT the reviewers to understand what you are writing about, right? Because if they don�t understand what you are writing about, they�re not going to give you any money!

11. Reviewers want: You can make your proposal read like a map if you use hierarchical headings and clearly label your figures.You can make your proposal read like a map if you use hierarchical headings and clearly label your figures.

12. Headings A. A.1. A.2. B. B.1. B.1.a. B.1.b. B.2. SPECIFIC AIMS Specific Aim 1 Specific Aim 2 BACKGROUND AND SIGNIFICANCE Secondary Heading Tertiary Heading Tertiary Heading Secondary Heading Your headings become your roadmap in your proposal. Here�s one way to create a hierarchy with your headings. Start with Bold, All Capital letters for your Primary headings, Bold Capitalized letters for your Secondary headings, Underlined letters for your tertiary headings. If you need a fourth level, you could make them italicized. BE CONSISTENT, though!!! Another way to help provide a map for your reviewers is to use letters and numbers, like this. When you use letters and numbers like this, you can say easily refer your readers back to something you�ve already discussed or tell them where you are going to discuss something in more detail up ahead. As an example, you could say in your research design methods �We will follow the same methods as in section C2 of the preliminary experiments.� Then your reviewers can just flip back to section C.2. and they know quickly and precisely what you are referring to.Your headings become your roadmap in your proposal. Here�s one way to create a hierarchy with your headings. Start with Bold, All Capital letters for your Primary headings, Bold Capitalized letters for your Secondary headings, Underlined letters for your tertiary headings. If you need a fourth level, you could make them italicized. BE CONSISTENT, though!!! Another way to help provide a map for your reviewers is to use letters and numbers, like this. When you use letters and numbers like this, you can say easily refer your readers back to something you�ve already discussed or tell them where you are going to discuss something in more detail up ahead. As an example, you could say in your research design methods �We will follow the same methods as in section C2 of the preliminary experiments.� Then your reviewers can just flip back to section C.2. and they know quickly and precisely what you are referring to.

13. Graphics It�s very important to label and number you graphics. This way you can refer to them in the text: �As Figure 1 shows, commas are curvaceous acrobats who caper over the page, working to make your text clear and precise.� If you wish, put a box around your figure caption. This makes it easy to pick out. Arial 10-point font is commonly used for figure captions and tables.It�s very important to label and number you graphics. This way you can refer to them in the text: �As Figure 1 shows, commas are curvaceous acrobats who caper over the page, working to make your text clear and precise.� If you wish, put a box around your figure caption. This makes it easy to pick out. Arial 10-point font is commonly used for figure captions and tables.

14. Reviewers want: Short and simple text. Start with basic ideas and move progressively to more complex ones. State the key points directly, and write basic concepts as nontechnically as possible. You may want to use Scientific American as a model for the level of writing to use for your nontechnical parts. This second point shows that you need to know your audience. Not everyone who is going to be reading your application is going to know your field very well. You need to write your proposal in a way so that all of the reviewers, regardless of their specialty, can understand what you�ve written. When you get to highly technical points, you can use technical language, but you should definitely NOT be using technical language in the specific aims or background sections. Writing complexly doesn�t make you sound intellectual, it just buries your ideas under a bunch of excess syllables and words and phrases. You WANT the reviewers to understand what you are writing about, right? Because if they don�t understand what you are writing about, they�re not going to give you any money!This second point shows that you need to know your audience. Not everyone who is going to be reading your application is going to know your field very well. You need to write your proposal in a way so that all of the reviewers, regardless of their specialty, can understand what you�ve written. When you get to highly technical points, you can use technical language, but you should definitely NOT be using technical language in the specific aims or background sections. Writing complexly doesn�t make you sound intellectual, it just buries your ideas under a bunch of excess syllables and words and phrases. You WANT the reviewers to understand what you are writing about, right? Because if they don�t understand what you are writing about, they�re not going to give you any money!

15. Reviewers want: Reviewers really like pretty pictures. This includes tables and flowcharts. The issue of color in these pictures is kind of tricky, because your proposal is going to be photocopied over and over, and most color pictures don�t reproduce well this way. However, the primary reviewers will get your color figures, and they are the most important. You have to decide how to balance this. If you can make color figures that reproduce great in black and white, that would be fantastic. This last point is the biggest thing that I am here to help you with. Reviewers really like pretty pictures. This includes tables and flowcharts. The issue of color in these pictures is kind of tricky, because your proposal is going to be photocopied over and over, and most color pictures don�t reproduce well this way. However, the primary reviewers will get your color figures, and they are the most important. You have to decide how to balance this. If you can make color figures that reproduce great in black and white, that would be fantastic. This last point is the biggest thing that I am here to help you with.

16. Pet Peeve #1

17. Commas Someone once used this as the dedication of their book. Now, they didn�t mean to say that their parents were Ayn Rand and God, they wanted to thank their parents, they wanted to thank Ayn Rand, and they wanted to thank God. Punctuation can totally change the meaning of your sentence. This highlights one of my pet peeves: When people don�t use commas. So, the proper way to write this acknowledgement is this.Someone once used this as the dedication of their book. Now, they didn�t mean to say that their parents were Ayn Rand and God, they wanted to thank their parents, they wanted to thank Ayn Rand, and they wanted to thank God. Punctuation can totally change the meaning of your sentence. This highlights one of my pet peeves: When people don�t use commas. So, the proper way to write this acknowledgement is this.

18. Commas You can see what a big difference a comma can make. I know that there are grammar books out there that say that you don�t have to put a comma before the �and� when you are listing a series of things. In fact, the Associated Press, which dictates the style used by most newspapers and magazines, instructs its writers to NOT use this comma. However, their dictate doesn�t have anything to do with clarity, but with saving ink and space in a newspaper, and so they didn�t have to buy lots of little comma lead blocks for their typesetting machines�it was just a way to save money! Unfortunately, their little rule caught on and many people don�t use this �serial comma� anymore. Every editor will put it back in if they see it missing though. And for good reasonYou can see what a big difference a comma can make. I know that there are grammar books out there that say that you don�t have to put a comma before the �and� when you are listing a series of things. In fact, the Associated Press, which dictates the style used by most newspapers and magazines, instructs its writers to NOT use this comma. However, their dictate doesn�t have anything to do with clarity, but with saving ink and space in a newspaper, and so they didn�t have to buy lots of little comma lead blocks for their typesetting machines�it was just a way to save money! Unfortunately, their little rule caught on and many people don�t use this �serial comma� anymore. Every editor will put it back in if they see it missing though. And for good reason

19. Commas

20. Commas Let�s take a look at how a missing comma can get you into trouble when writing your grant. The serial comma is especially important when you have a long list of things, which you are likely to have when writing a grant. The purpose of the serial comma is to reduce ambiguity. Let�s take a look at how a missing comma can get you into trouble when writing your grant. The serial comma is especially important when you have a long list of things, which you are likely to have when writing a grant. The purpose of the serial comma is to reduce ambiguity.

21. Commas

22. Commas

23. Commas If you just can�t bring yourself to put that serial comma in, then at least be consistent throughout your paper. At least make up some internal rules for yourself and stick to them.If you just can�t bring yourself to put that serial comma in, then at least be consistent throughout your paper. At least make up some internal rules for yourself and stick to them.

24. Pet Peeve #2

25. Semicolons

26. Semicolons

27. Semicolons

28. Semicolons

29. Semicolons This sentence wouldn�t make sense if you replaced the first semicolon with a comma. You can also use semicolons to separate very long phrases in a series.This sentence wouldn�t make sense if you replaced the first semicolon with a comma. You can also use semicolons to separate very long phrases in a series.

30. Semicolons When related independent clauses appear in one sentence, they are ordinarily connected with a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet). The coordinating conjunction expresses the relation between the clauses. If the relation is clear without a conjunction, a writer may choose to connect the clauses with a semicolon instead.When related independent clauses appear in one sentence, they are ordinarily connected with a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet). The coordinating conjunction expresses the relation between the clauses. If the relation is clear without a conjunction, a writer may choose to connect the clauses with a semicolon instead.

31. Semicolons A writer may also choose to connect clauses with a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb such as �however� or �therefore� or a transitional phrase such as �for example� or �in fact.� A writer may also choose to connect clauses with a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb such as �however� or �therefore� or a transitional phrase such as �for example� or �in fact.�

32. Clarity Here are the three things that get people into trouble the most when they are writing. It�s not important that you remember the terms (well, except for the last one), but I want to show you why you have to think carefully about what you write so that you can convey the meaning that you want to get across.Here are the three things that get people into trouble the most when they are writing. It�s not important that you remember the terms (well, except for the last one), but I want to show you why you have to think carefully about what you write so that you can convey the meaning that you want to get across.

33. Misplaced Modifier a word or phrase that causes confusion because it is located within a sentence so far away from the word(s) to which it refers This is the formal definition of a misplaced modifier.This is the formal definition of a misplaced modifier.

34. Misplaced Modifiers Consider the different meanings in the following sentences: The dog under the tree bit Carrie. vs. The dog bit Carrie under the tree. The examples in this slide illustrate the importance of the modification phrase or word group. What is the difference in meaning between the two sentences. The first sentence explains, �That dog under that tree bit Carrie�--the dog is presently located under the tree. The second sentence indicates that the act of biting Carrie occurred under the tree. Depending on the placement of the modification phrase, �under the tree,� the meaning of a sentence can change dramatically. Imagine the confusion misplaced modifiers can cause in scientific writing.The examples in this slide illustrate the importance of the modification phrase or word group. What is the difference in meaning between the two sentences. The first sentence explains, �That dog under that tree bit Carrie�--the dog is presently located under the tree. The second sentence indicates that the act of biting Carrie occurred under the tree. Depending on the placement of the modification phrase, �under the tree,� the meaning of a sentence can change dramatically. Imagine the confusion misplaced modifiers can cause in scientific writing.

35. Misplaced Modifiers Sometimes misplaced modifiers are used for comic effect: The other day I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. -- Groucho Marx Occasionally, misplaced modifiers can be used for comic effect, as in this famous example from Groucho Marx. Note that �in my pajamas� is the modifying phrase in this example.Occasionally, misplaced modifiers can be used for comic effect, as in this famous example from Groucho Marx. Note that �in my pajamas� is the modifying phrase in this example.

36. How might you correct the following sentence? Nancy rushed to the store loaded with cash to buy the birthday gift. Better: Nancy, loaded with cash, rushed to the store to buy the birthday gift. What�s the problem with the first sentence? The store is loaded with cash. The modifying phrase, �loaded with cash,� needs to be placed as close as possible to what it modifies--Nancy. Another correct option is �Loaded with cash, Nancy rushed to the store to buy the birthday gift.�What�s the problem with the first sentence? The store is loaded with cash. The modifying phrase, �loaded with cash,� needs to be placed as close as possible to what it modifies--Nancy. Another correct option is �Loaded with cash, Nancy rushed to the store to buy the birthday gift.�

38. Misplaced modifier

39. Dangling modifier a word or phrase that modifies another word or phrase that has not been stated clearly within the sentence often occur at the beginnings and ends of sentences often indicated by an -ing verb or a to + verb phrase This is a formal definition for dangling modifiers.This is a formal definition for dangling modifiers.

40. Dangling Modifier Being in a dilapidated condition, he was able to buy the house very cheap. What is the modifier �being in dilapidated condition� modifying? The man or the house?What is the modifier �being in dilapidated condition� modifying? The man or the house?

41. How might you correct the following sentence? Driving down the street, the beagle chased my car. The beagle chased my car as I drove down the street.The beagle chased my car as I drove down the street.

42. How might you correct the following sentence? Being a process that still needs to be refined, scientists are searching for a more effective plan for chemotherapy treatment. Better: Scientists are searching for a more effective plan for chemotherapy treatment, a process that still needs to be refined. The problem with the initial sentence is that the �scientists� are the �process that still needs to be refined.� This sentence is best corrected by changing the dangling phrase to a modifying phrase referring to �chemotherapy treatment� at the end of the sentence. The problem with the initial sentence is that the �scientists� are the �process that still needs to be refined.� This sentence is best corrected by changing the dangling phrase to a modifying phrase referring to �chemotherapy treatment� at the end of the sentence.

43. Dangling modifiers Having finished dinner, the football game was turned on. Having finished dinner, Joe turned on the football game. Which sentence is correct? The second sentence is correct because �Having finished dinner� modifies �Joe.� The first sentence contains a dangling modifier---it sounds like the football game just finished dinner. The subject of the modifying phrase, Joe, is absent from the first sentence.Which sentence is correct? The second sentence is correct because �Having finished dinner� modifies �Joe.� The first sentence contains a dangling modifier---it sounds like the football game just finished dinner. The subject of the modifying phrase, Joe, is absent from the first sentence.

44. Dangling modifiers Joe turned on the football game after he finished dinner. After Joe finished dinner, he turned on the football game. There are a couple of ways to repair sentences with dangling modifiers. Each sentence, or independent clause, contains a subject and a verb. The first example refers to the example on the previous slide--the subject, or doer of the action, needs to be placed as the subject of the independent clause. The second example explains the naming of the subject within the dangling phrase.There are a couple of ways to repair sentences with dangling modifiers. Each sentence, or independent clause, contains a subject and a verb. The first example refers to the example on the previous slide--the subject, or doer of the action, needs to be placed as the subject of the independent clause. The second example explains the naming of the subject within the dangling phrase.

45. Dangling modifiers

46. The Passive Voice and Jargon

47. Passive voice indicates what is receiving the action rather than explaining who is doing the action two indicators "to be" verbs�is, are, was, were "by ________� Examples: Mistakes were made. The cats were brushed by Laura. Passive voice is another common clarity problem, primarily because the subject of the action is not indicated clearly within the sentence. A sentence with passive voice always contains a form of the verb �to be� and may contain a phrase starting with �by.� Why are the two examples passive? In the first example, who made the mistakes? The answer cannot be given because the doer of the action is omitted from the sentence. Sometimes passive voice is used purposely; politicians often use passive voice to avoid giving assigning agency to an action. Passive voice in the second example is indicated by �were� and �by.� The sentence can be made a more direct statement by placing the doer of the action in the subject position: �Laura brushed the cats.� Passive voice is another common clarity problem, primarily because the subject of the action is not indicated clearly within the sentence. A sentence with passive voice always contains a form of the verb �to be� and may contain a phrase starting with �by.� Why are the two examples passive? In the first example, who made the mistakes? The answer cannot be given because the doer of the action is omitted from the sentence. Sometimes passive voice is used purposely; politicians often use passive voice to avoid giving assigning agency to an action. Passive voice in the second example is indicated by �were� and �by.� The sentence can be made a more direct statement by placing the doer of the action in the subject position: �Laura brushed the cats.�

48. The Passive Voice You see here that as an added benefit, writing in an active voice takes less words.You see here that as an added benefit, writing in an active voice takes less words.

49. Jargon

50. The Passive Voice and Jargon Take this example. What is the person trying to say? Who can translate that into 6 words?Take this example. What is the person trying to say? Who can translate that into 6 words?

51. The Passive Voice and Jargon

52. A different type of jargon� Because If they show it, then it is is fact. Consider If To Again, another fact, so state it as a fact.Because If they show it, then it is is fact. Consider If To Again, another fact, so state it as a fact.

53. The Passive Voice

54. The Passive Voice

55. The Rewriting Process

56. The Rewriting Process

57. The Rewriting Process

58. The Rewriting Process

59. The Rewriting Process

60. The Rewriting Process

61. Here is an example of a not poorly written abstract that nevertheless could be improved by applying some of the techniques that we�ve talked about today.Here is an example of a not poorly written abstract that nevertheless could be improved by applying some of the techniques that we�ve talked about today.

62. Take the second sentence as an example. This sentence is supposed to be telling us how the immune system protects hosts against microorganisms.Take the second sentence as an example. This sentence is supposed to be telling us how the immune system protects hosts against microorganisms.

63. Nature Medicine �10, 801 - 805 (2004)Regulatory T cells and mechanisms of immune system control Here�s the rewritten version.Here�s the rewritten version.

64. Brevity counts!

65. The Rewriting Process

66. The Rewriting Process I may not have made this one shorter, but it sure reads better now. The purpose of the study is stated up front, and the experiments are clearly outlined.I may not have made this one shorter, but it sure reads better now. The purpose of the study is stated up front, and the experiments are clearly outlined.

67. The Rewriting Process

68. The Rewriting Process

71. This is such a common mistake, so very pervasive, that it caused on author to write a whole book: Eats, Shoots and Leaves.This is such a common mistake, so very pervasive, that it caused on author to write a whole book: Eats, Shoots and Leaves.

72. Resources

74. More resources