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THE TERMINATION OF RELATIONSHIPS. RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION: HOW IT HAPPENS. PASSING AWAY SUDDEN DEATH. PHASES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION. INTRA-PSYCHIC PHASE DYADIC PHASE SOCIAL PHASE GRAVE-DRESSING PHASE. COMMUNICATING DURING RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION. WHO INITIATES IT?

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Presentation Transcript
phases of relationship dissolution
PHASES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION
  • INTRA-PSYCHIC PHASE
  • DYADIC PHASE
  • SOCIAL PHASE
  • GRAVE-DRESSING PHASE
communicating during relationship dissolution
COMMUNICATING DURING RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION
  • WHO INITIATES IT?
  • DISTANCING & DISASSOCIATING
  • “STRATEGIES”
causes of relationship dissolution
CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION
  • BREAKDOWN IN COMMUNICATION
  • LOSS OF SHARED GOALS/INTERESTS
  • DESIRE FOR INDEPENDENCE
  • SEXUAL AND/OR INTIMACY PROBLEMS
  • ROLE STRAIN
  • MONEY
  • CHILDREN
  • INFIDELITY/LOYALTY ISSUES
  • ALCOHOL/DRUG ABUSE
divorce facts
DIVORCE FACTS
  • APPROXIMATELY 50% OF BOTH FIRST AND SECOND MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE
  • USUALLY AT LEAST ONE CHILD IS INVOLVED
  • USUALLY IT IS A HIGH STRESS PROCESS FOR ALL CONCERNED
common communication patterns during divorce
COMMON COMMUNICATION PATTERNS DURING DIVORCE
  • RECIPROCITY OF “BAD” (OFTEN PETTY) ACTS
  • POWER PLAYS: “I WIN, YOU LOSE”
  • COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN:
    • Arguing in front of them
    • Explaining about “Daddy & Mommy”
    • Not talking to them about what’s happening
slide9
PRIMARY CONCERNS/TOPICS FOCUS ON:
    • Division of resources
    • Future relationships
    • Visitation rights & custody (if children &/or pets involved)
  • CONSTRUCTIVE PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION ARE POSSIBLE AND SOME COUPLES MANAGE QUITE WELL. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS NOT THE NORM.
slide11
WHAT IS JEALOUSY?
    • A Learned Reaction To A Loss Or Threat Of Loss
    • Can Be Real or Imagined
  • WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO BE JEALOUS?
    • Insecure People
    • People Who Have a High Dependency On The Relationship
    • People Who Strongly Support A Value System Involving Possessiveness of Private Property & Total Togetherness in Relationships
slide12
WHAT ARE WE JEALOUS ABOUT?
    • Time; Persons; Situations/Opporunities
  • IS JEALOUSY ALWAYS BAD?
    • Mild Forms of Jealousy Can Show Concern & Caring for the Relationship
    • Too Often It Involves Unhealthy Responses Such as Planning Revenge; Sinking into Depression; Wallowing in Self-Pity; etc.
slide13
COPING WITH JEALOUSY
    • Communicate in Ways To Develop Self-Esteem/Self-Confidence For Yourself & Your Partner
    • Talk To Your Partner About Expectations, Assumptions, & Feelings Related to Behaviors That May Be Associated With Jealousy
gender jealousy
GENDER & JEALOUSY
  • MALES
    • Becoming Jealous: Focus on Lowered Self-Esteem Due To Negative Judgment By Partner
    • Ways of Coping: Get Drunk; Get Aggressive; Feel “Turned On” By Jealous Situation; Get Angry With Self; Engage in Rivalrous Behavior With “Other” Man; Make Effort To Secure Another Relationship
slide15
Inducing Jealousy: Less Likely Than Females
  • Motives: Men Likely To Feel Partner’s Interest In Another Romantic Partner Motivated By Desire for More Committed Relationship, Sexual Attraction, &/or Relationship Dissatisfaction
slide16
FEMALES
    • Becoming Jealous: Focus On Difficulty in Developing Another Relationship If This One Should End
    • Ways of Coping: Cry; Try To Make Selves More Attractive To Partner; Pretend Not To Care; Withdraw From Other Relationship Possibilities
slide17
Inducing Jealousy: More Likely Than Males
  • Motives: Women Likely to Feel Partner’s Interest In Another Romantic Partner Is Motivated by Desire For More Sexual Variety; Nonsexual Attractions; &/or Relationship Dissatisfaction
types of infidelity
TYPES OF INFIDELITY
  • “ACCIDENTAL” AFFAIRS
  • ROMANTIC AFFAIRS
  • MARITAL ARRANGEMENTS
  • PHILANDERING
    • Men: Worship Masculinity, Not Intimacy
    • Women: Angry at men; seek control through sex
myths about infidelity
MYTHS ABOUT INFIDELITY
  • “EVERYBODY DOES IT”
  • “MY AFFAIR IS SAVING MY MARRIAGE”
    • or “SINCE MY PARTNER DOESN’T KNOW, IT DOESN’T AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP”
  • “IF MY PARTNER WASN’T THE WAY HE/SHE IS, I WOULDN’T HAVE AN AFFAIR”
  • AFTER AN AFFAIR, DIVORCE IS INEVITABLE
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