Supportive Communication: Examples of Strong Writing from MGT 360

1. Supportive Communication:Examples of Strong Writing from MGT 360 Wayne Smith, Ph.D. Department of Management CSU Northridge ws@csun.edu

2. What is Supportive Communication? • Supportive Communication is relatively easy when things are going well. • Even then a manager needs to be aware of one’s own communication approaches, styles, delivery, feedback, and consequences. • It gets much, much more difficult when things are not going well. • In such times, a manager needs to design and implement a communication plan (even for a single spoken utterance or a single written sentence) that will generate the desired results. • The focus—always—is to ensure that a positive, mutually-beneficial, interpersonal relationship is established, maintained, or nurtured. • Focus on… • Coaching: Managers pass along advice and information, or they set standards. • Counseling: Managers help others recognize and address problems. • Be wary of… • Defensiveness: An emotional or physical state in which a person is agitated. • Disconfirmation: Occurs when a person feels put down or ineffectual.

3. What is Supportive Communication? • Supportive Communication is… • Congruent (honest matching of thoughts and feelings) • Descriptive (objective, including reactions and suggested alternatives) • Problem-Oriented (a focus on problems, not people) • Validating (communicating respect and areas of agreement) • Specific (events or behaviors at a granular level to lead to positive action) • Conjunctive (statements and interaction that “flow” from prior circumstances) • Owned (taking responsibility) • Supportive Listening (a tendency to use flexible, reflective responses)

4. Exemplars – Congruent, Not Incongruent • A focus on honest messages where verbal statements match thoughts and feelings. • General Example: Congruent • “Your behavior really upset me.” • General Example: Incongruent • “Do I seem upset? No, everything is fine.” • Student Example: Congruent • Manager: Speaking to your high level of liberalism, the profile test states that a person with high liberalism is more prone to challenge authority and traditional ways. How will you be able to work in an environment that may want things done a certain way and that way only? • Saamia: I think that I would start the job being fine with those limitations. However, as time goes on, I feel that I would need to move on to a different organization that would allow me to spread my wings. I would not leave boldly and on bad terms.

5. Exemplars – Descriptive, Not Evaluative • A focus on describing an objective occurrence, describing your reaction to it, and offering a suggested alternative. • General Example: Descriptive • “Here is what happened; here is my reaction. I have a suggestion that would be more acceptable.” • General Example: Evaluative • “You are wrong for doing what you did.” • Student Example: Descriptive • Manager: It seems that you can handle yourself well around all kinds of people. However, one thing that is interesting is your trust facet is more on the low side. Can you explain that? • Saamia: Yes. I do work well with other people, but I have a hard time trusting others to get the job done. I want to believe that they are responsible enough to complete a task, but I can very anxious leaving responsibilities in someone else’s hands. I know that if I want to move up in the corporate world, I need to be able to delegate and trust that people will do what they promise. Based on just school experience, I have learned to depend only on myself. There may be a very big difference when it comes to working in the real world [to trusting in] my peers.

6. Exemplars – Problem-Oriented, Not Person-Oriented • A focus on problems and issues that can be changed rather than people and their characteristics. • General Example: Problem-Oriented • “How can we solve this problem?” • General Example: Person-Oriented • “Because of you a problem exists.” • Student Example: Problem-Oriented • Aisha: I do not want further drama and uneasiness at work. This is leading to low productivity and loss in sales. I want her to know that this type of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated…She is an asset for our department because of her exceptional performance; however, this issue needs to be taken care of before it becomes habitual. • Manager: I understand your position. We should monitor her behavior and performance before taking any further action. If you want, you can handle this situation with her privately in a professional manner. • Aisha: I hope that my decision of cooperating with her and not filing a formal complaint against her will provide an assurance that this type of act will not be repeated.

7. Exemplars – Validating, Not Invalidating • A focus on statements that communicate respect, flexibility, collaboration, and areas of agreement. • General Example: Validating • “I have some ideas, but do you have any suggestions?” • General Example: Invalidating • “You wouldn’t understand, so we’ll do it my way.” • Student Example: Validating • Ryan: I think that over the last few months I have done my job with an impeccable work ethic, and I’ve learned something new every day that I’ve been here. • Manager: I see. We’ll I think all employees here are expected to work hard. Can you give me a specific example of your “impeccable work ethic”? • Ryan: Sure thing. As you know, I went through the training process for being a host, cashier, runner, and server very quickly. But more important than how quickly I was able to learn these positions, my orderliness allowed me to carry out each one of these jobs efficiently, with nearly not mistakes. I made a strong effort to be organized, and focused on getting my job done correctly.

8. Exemplars – Specific, Not Global • A focus on specific events or behaviors and avoid general, extreme, or either-or statements. • General Example: Specific • “You interrupted me three times during the meeting.” • General Example: Global • “You’re always trying to get attention.” • Student Example: Specific • Jon: I would have to say my best quality is my conscientiousness. I feel as though my self-discipline is extremely high and allows me to succeed in both work and school. I can be my toughest critic, and I have extremely high expectations for myself. I never allow myself to take a day off, which keeps me in the correct mind state to always progress. • Manager: Your work ethic reflects that, as does your cautiousness with clients and hair stylists who work for us. The bleach mishap situation a few months back is a perfect example of it. Not only were you able to retain the client, but you also made sure the stylist realized the severity of the situation and that it could not happen again. She actually has performed better since the talk you guys had, and I believe you have a huge role in that.

9. Exemplars – Conjunctive, Not Disjunctive • A focus on statements that flow from what has been said previously and facilitate interaction. • General Example: Conjunctive • “Relating to what you just said, ‘I’d like to raise another point.’” • General Example: Disjunctive • “I want to say something (regardless of what you just said).” • Student Example: Conjunctive • Manager: Your score for extraversion is average. Typically, in the sales world, extraverts perform better. How will you make these changes? • Dro: Being placed as average is not the best indicator of my personality with others. I am friendly and cheerful, which makes the car buying experience all the better. • Manager: But your gregariousness and assertiveness are low. We need salesmen to take charge and have the ABC mindset (“Always Be Closing”). Looking at your customer logs and follow-ups, it appears you are only closing 10% of your potentials.

10. Exemplars – Owned, Not Disowned • A focus on taking responsibility for your own statements by using personal (“I”) words. • General Example: Owned • “I have decided to turn down your request because…” • General Example: Disowned • “You have a relatively good idea, but it wouldn’t get approved.” • Student Example: Owned • Melanie: As you probably know, I’ll have been here for two years, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I see myself evolving within our company and our team. I see myself as an agreeable employee. I respect cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. I see myself as willing to compromise with the interests of others. • Manager: I am listening. • Melanie: As cashier here, I have taken on additional shifts and responsibilities as our teams’ members are always calling out and my availability allows me to fill in these skipped shifts. I have helped train employees and make sure things run smoothly in the front end. I’d like my pay to reflect that growth.

11. Exemplars – Supportive Listening, Not One-Way Listening • A focus on using a variety of appropriate responses, with a bias toward reflective responses. • General Example: Supportive Listening • “What do you think are the obstacles standing the way of improvement?” • General Example: One-Way Listening • “As I said before, you make too many mistakes. You’re just not performing.” • Student Example: Supportive Listening • Manager: Dro, the first quarter of the year is over. I’ll be evaluating your performance, store gross, and customer surveys. How do you feel about your ability to approach customers and close deals? • Dro: I am learning something new each day and improving with my interactions. • Manager: Do you remember the personality profile test we had the team complete last week? We will be using the results of that test as an outline. • Dro: Sounds great!

12. References • The categories for this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: • Whetten, D., and Cameron, K. (2016) Developing Management Skills (9th ed.), Pearson, Boston:MA.